It's hard to watch kids not get the parenting they need to succeed.  And to have to interact with them, be seen with them, etc. is excruciating. Our BM wanted kids to supply her with endless attention, so she's completely disinterested in raising functional adults. But you can't fix them.  Not only is it not your job, you couldn't fix them if you tried! 

What will it take fro BM to lose custody? God knows.  It seems to be awfully hard.  But the mere possibility of her bringing hookers around him isn't likely to do it.

How will your DH react to the knowledge that BM is a stripper?  If it will motivate him to parent, then do it!  If not, there's no point. Let him find out on his own.

Is the woman planning on taking her son to 'work' with her? While, you, I nor anyone else here may approve or disapprove of what of the line of work the BM has gone into... being a adult dance entertainer on it's own would not cause loss of custody based solely on place of employment.

Is she selling drugs out of her home? Bringing clients home and entertaining them all over the house while her son is present? Laying around the house passed out from drugs/alcohol during her parenting time? Leaving drugs/alcohol around the home where the child might come across them? 

Has your DH called in CPS on any danger on this woman concerning her time parenting prior to her new place of employment? Has there been evidence of neglectful and/or unsafe that has been reported on the BM? 

Breathe! I can't even tell you all the horrid things I've found out about BM that i want immeadiate action for!!! But if you bring everything up and are the only one pushing, then no matter the reason, you just look like you're out to get her... Unless your DH has realized things and wants to fight your hands are eally tied (I know how much that sucks and how powerless that leaves you feeling!!!)

You can care, you can support, I understand wanting to fight for the wellbeing of a child, but unless you and your DH are on the same page, it's going to eat you up...

It used to eat me up. Watching the girls suffer, sedning them back in tears, hearing all the horrors, seeing BM high but not being able to do anything. It hurts to watch! But when I mentioned things, it only created conflict for DH and I. It took BM ditching and her family telling him the truth for him to be ready to fight. 

Now we'r eboth all in. But until you're both in, you can't fight harder than he is without creating conflict in your own home.

Mom has a job.  Dad does not. 

Based on your blogs, you are doing the best you can to parent the kid while dad does nothing.

What makes him a better parent than her?   If CPS does get involved, based on what you have posted, the kids shouldn't be with either parent.

Being a stripper is legal employment. Let it be.

Now, like another poster stated, if the not-so-perks of her job spills over into the home, around a minor, than yes, at that point I’d consider it my business. 

I would let it be.  No good can come of you bringing it up.  It will somehow end up causing you trouble, the same way everything else does.  And really, do YOU want to do all the parenting of this kid?  God knows your husband won't do it; it doesn't sound like he's any more of a parent than BM.  I guess playing video games constantly won't get him arrested, but it doesn't give the kid more attention or better parenting than the BM is providing, either.  And at least she's employed.  I'd focus more on getting your husband to get a full time job and properly support your family than on where the skid's mother is working.

The more you share, the more convinced I become that you not only married beneath you, but also into a very disfunctional, trashy dynamic.

When you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas, Kmommy. This guy you're with doesnt bring much to the table as a father, or a husband, or a man. Hopefully you'll accept what he is and where he chooses to be in life, and move on to something better. Your kids deserve that.

Let it be.  Being a stripper is legal.  Besides, what are you going to do about it?  Not being nasty but you can't control what BM does.  Whether you worry or not, follow her or not, she is going to make the decisions she wants and life will move forward.  She will F it up just the same.  She has no say what you guys do with your lives and you have no right to try and dictate her life.

Also your DH isn't exactly the best role model and parent either so....stones and glass houses and all that.