I can speak of my experience with my gf's ex husband and how he makes our lives more difficult. He only takes his kids once a week, for a couple of hours, and thats it. We rarely have time to ourselves unless we hire a sitter or her mom babysits. It is always at an incovenient time(during an extremely busy dinner rush, or during rush hour when we can't really do much anyways and Im supposed to be grateful and excited he is doing it) when he sees his kids anyways and he's almost always late picking up and dropping them off.  He always wants to come into her house when I am not there to pick up and drop them off. How about you be a man and take your kids a couple days a week like you're supposed to? His phone calls are invasive. Even though he pays his child support its not enough to help her much. He hasn't had it modified in years and she needs to do this. He's also very sneaky in other ways and has found ways to mock me behind my back passively. He has also had jealous rages towards her about me taking trips with her. He is one weird dude.

I am sorry but this is making me laugh really hard. What a bunch of loons.

BM always tries to do whatever we had planned to do, before we actually do it. This year, SSs kept asking us to take them for sushi. They went out for sushi once with their grandparents and hadn't gone again. So, for their birthday, DH plans to take them for sushi. That week, SS calls and says "what are we doing this weekend?" Whenever he does this, I know that he is just collecting information for BM. The Friday afternoon before our planned sushi dinner, BM goes home early from work to take the kids out for sushi...no joke. She had never taken them to sushi before. 

A couple years ago, DH got the kids iPhone 4s, which they loved. It drove BM crazy. This year, she doesn't tell DH (even though SSs were on our phone plan) and gets them new iPhones (which she couldn't afford, so their phones have already been shut off for non-payment once). She doesn't buy cases for them, so one of them already broke his screen and because she couldn't really afford the phones, they don't have the insurance to fix the screen. 

Several years, she also tried to convince DH to tell her what he was getting the kids for Christmas - "so they wouldn't give the same thing." Um, no chance of that happening lady, we never give them an XBox. For the past few years, we've given them skiing lessons as their present. DH had approached her about the lessons before, saying that he wanted them to be part of their annual sports budget. BM refused, saying SSs had never mentioned skiing to her and there was no way she was going to pay for skiing. We've taken them for two years and they've loved it...I bet she'll give them ski lessons next year, just to compete (even though she doesn't ski herself). 

Your son is a poo disturber...  He just loved pointing out that his siblings got thrift store things.. and set off this whole issue.  I bought both my SD's things at the goodwill.. but the difference is they were both with me when we did it.. and we also laundered everything like you did.  Maybe if this kid had known the choice was...1.  we can go thrift and you can get a ton of newish stuff.. or go to walmart and get a little more crappy quality or we can go to the mall and get you fewer items.  We are spending X it will go a lot further in some places than others.

I’m so thankful BM is respectful and leaves me alone. 

I am not sure if these things count as making our life hard, but they are ridiculous things with my husband's ex-wife.

The background is that she has been awful to me from the start. She and I are very different people, but I do not consider this bad. She does. I think she was offended that my husband could be attracted to someone who is so very different to her in every way. (I find this odd. Are we not all attracted to many different types of people?) After he moved in with me, she harassed us all day and all night, sending hundreds of angry messages by facebook and SMS, making crazy demands, and being so immature that high school girls would tell her to grow up.

One of my favorites was when she said, after my husband tried telling her she needed to be decent and realize that just because I am not her, I am not awful and there is no reason I cannot be around stepson, she said, "Well, if icanteven wants to work with me, she needs to apologize to me and commit to doing things my way. When she is ready to do that, we can talk about her being around stepson."

Wait a minute, lady. You send your son to my house. I did not ask for this. No one asked me if I want this. In truth, I prefer you keep him and move far away. My husband wants him to come to our house. I am only a person expected to accept this and allow it. You have nothing I want, ex-wife, nothing. I do not want your child to come to my house any more than you want to send him there. You are court ordered to send him to my house on certain days. You need my cooperation. I do not need yours. Maybe you should apologize to me for being so awful when all I did was show up.

I mentioned in another post about how she used to ask my husband to bring things from our house for her. I think he did this for several weeks before I realized what was happening. I had noticed things were disappearing from my kitchen, but I thought my husband was eating them while I was at work, or for things that are not food, that he used them, or that I misplaced them. Some things that disappeared were a whole block of cheese, a new box of strawberries, a bag of salad greens, a box of trash bags, toilet paper, Windex, bread, pasta, tomatoes, cucumbers, and a whole chicken. I found out when I saw my husband walk out of my house with two rolls of paper towels that he had been shopping from my groceries for his ex-wife and thought nothing of this. She would send him an SMS before he would pick up his son and say she was out of something, so he would go into my kitchen and get it for her. When I asked him why he thought I would be ok with that, he said, "If I make her angry, she will keep my son from me." I told him she cannot do that because there is court order. He was afraid of this anyway, and would do anything she asked him to do. I told him if he wants to grocery shop for her, he can do it with his own money but she is not allowed to have anything I bought for our house. I do not care if he took it because his son likes it (strawberries, chicken, pasta). My kids like it, too, and I bought it for us, not for his son at his mother's house.

On this, I am confused by two things. Why did my husband think this was ok with me? Also, how does a person get to be like his ex and think it is normal to ask for things from the home of a person they treat like rubbish? I can imagine in her mind, "Hello, I am a person who treats everyone like something I found under my shoe. I see you went to the grocery store yesterday. I'll have some of what you got. Bring it to me." These people are not normal.

Gee - how has she made our lives EASIER? Well, because she is who she is and loves drama and conflict and attention and all that, she has found a full spectrum of ways to make our lives difficult, mostly with respect to the children/child. 

One way - this summer, as I have been out of work, and she is working for shool system, she has the opportunity to spend more time with child, but has chosen to work, but hasnt really mentioned anything, because you know. communication is a bad thing, unless she feels she has been wronged somehow, then its text upon text. So I am left not knowing day to day if I am doing childcare or not.

Another way - her boyfriend/ex boyfriend still comes over, and its whenever munchkin sd12 isnt there because of restraining order. So, we have to jump through hoops with her schedule and hurry up and wait if he is over there. I tried dropping her off a little early because Munchkin had a pain in her neck (over use of phone I think...) and he was there, and I got attitude, and munchkin got upset. She is still traumatizsed by him, and his drunken antics.

Well, lets see heres another one - since we are not paying child support, we are expected to pay for everything for Skid, including furnishing BMs apartment with a bunk bed. she already has a queen bed set with nice frame and headboard provided by FDH, but it needs cleaning because Feral Eldest got makeup on it (cleaning costs 100$, new bed set costs $400). Why are we expected to furnish and re-furnish her messy disgusting apartment?

I can say so much more but am getting bored! LOL.

We don't have issues any more but we used to have some doozies. Let's see:

- Call intentionally over and over again for nothing on days like Valentines Day, or our Anniversary. 

- "Accidently" bleach SS's brand new clothes (We all know this woman doesn't clean ANYTHING but suddendly found it neccessary to bleach his dark clothes)

- Call DH and question EVERY SINGLE bruise and scratch on his body the day he went to her house. He was a 2 year old little boy... he had plenty

- Accused DD of sexually abusing him when he was 2 years old. She was 4 years old. He "told her" DD touches her in his diaper spots... he could barely form a 3 word sentence, but yeah, he told you that **biggest eyeroll ever**

- Ask ME, not DH, ME for money, all the time. 

- Call the house and ask to speak to "her husband". That one was by far my favorite. I always told her she had the wrong number and hung up. 

- Taught SS to call me "bitch" rather than my name when he as 2

- Tell the preschools that DH was a deadbeat dad. And add and remove my name from the authorized pick up list for no reason and without warning. 

I could go on for days. 

So many things that she did, so little time lol.

1. she sent home diaries with the skids every other weekend so they could write down everything they hated about dh and me and my bios and send them back to her. we confiscated 26 diaries.(oh she had the every other weekend, we had majority custody). 

2. She PAS'd the heck out of the skids. One is now just like bm and one is normal.

3. She told them that me and my kids were not blood so not family. (funny since she had other kids by other marriage.)

4. she told the kids my hair is a rats nest. 

5. She told oldest sd that if she didn't make any friends at school she could live with her. Guess what sd now lives with her and is friendless and completely mentally ill. 

6. She tried to literally turn everything we did into some kind of huge dramatic event. 

I could go on and on, but this woman is pure evil and i'm sure there's a special spot in hell for people like this.

There have been at least 3-4 summers that BM has decided she can't deal with SD any more and that she needs to spend the summer with us. BM tells my SO about how SD doesn't listen, clean, bad grades etc etc and she needs his help to get her back on track. It doesn't seem that BM expects much of SD when she's with her so being asked to help out around the house, not spend all day on her phone or go outside and play are all a shock to SD. SO keeps BM updated on how SD acts and what he's doing with her and she thanks him constantly for it. Then SD gets upset and wants to go home and BM rescues her and says SO is abusive. I don't know if she's that much of a pushover that she can't stand to see SD upset or if she's that manipulative and does it on purpose.

Somehow SO falls for it every time!! It happened this summer and right before shit went down hill I told him that she's just setting him up to be the evil dad again. He was like no she really wants to co-parent this time and needs my help. Guess what happened the week after and guess where SD is staying the rest of the summer. I'm so over this cycle. Next time I'm putting my foot down I'm so done with these games.

The worst, most disruptive stuff was BM showing up on DH time.  She would set up almost all appointments on DH 50/50 time.  I am talking about, dentist, doctor, eyes, hair...you name it. BM delivered to our house on almost a daily basis forgotten homework or clothing.   We would know nothing about these appointments, until the day of said appointment, usually informed by SKid.  We would be told that BM would be picking them up at school and there would never be a return time, because of course all appointments had to be followed by dinner and shopping.  The kicker was, there are 3 skids and she never took them to appointments on the same day, so every week there was some kind of appointment for one of the kids.  But the worst, was her constant calling and texting the skids.  Unbeknownst to us, she was chatting to the eldest skid for 2 to 3 hours every night, after midnight and we got to deal with trying to get this kid up for school everyday.  What a mess.