She is bitter cause she can't be the mother that she should be. And people who are unhappy with their lives try to make others misurable too. Don't dwell on the clothes just buy your daughter new ones and send her the half the bill, then take her to Court and sue her ass for Child Support. Or have the Dead Beat mom sign off all her rights and you legally adopt her and be rid of the B*&#% forever.

Don't let this upset you, I know it's easier said than done, but when we get angry about other's actions, we are giving them power over us. So we know that BM isn't going to send the clothes, **sigh** we shouldn't expect any less, so now we just need to focus on what we can do to *fix* the problem. How old is your SD? Are there any consignment shops in your area? We have a Plato's closet and they have name brand items for cheap.

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Longbeachgirl:

BM is doing it to be a bitch. Plain and simple. Why? Because BF and I have this exact same problem. We have SD6 e/o/w or at least we're supposed to, that sometimes doesn't happen. SD6 is a tall girl and is starting to put on some weight so she wears a 7/8. BM used to send her with her overnight bag and it included:

One underwear (at times, dirty)
PJ's (size 4, mind you)
a pair of dirty flip flops
2 shirts (no shorts or pants whatsoever)

This was soooo annoying! My BF would call her to chew her out, an argument would always ensue until one day I told him to just let it go. She has her own room at our home and she'll have her own clothes. So we asked BM to just have her ready to be picked up, nevermind the overnight bag because we went out and bought her clothes that fit properly.

Here's what to do:

1. Buy her clothes. She's going to need it obviously.
2. Don't bother sending her the bill, but keep the receipts in case you may need to prove later on that you purchased items for SD.
3. DO NOT SEND ANY CLOTHES BACK TO BM'S, in the event that she goes back home. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, just keep them at your house. Because chances are, if you send the new stuff, each time SD comes over, she'll arrive with old clothes that don't fit or aren't suitable to wear anymore.

She's probably bitter because although she doesn't want your husband back, she doesn't want anyone else to have him or for him to be happy with anyone other than her. It's her way of making him pay for divorcing her.

Oh and one other thing! When it's time to send SD back home, send her home with the items she came with, wearing whatever clothes came in that box. Do not send any of her new purchases with her. Why, you ask? Because BM doesn't deserve to have daughter returned with any of the new items you purchased for her. Obviously if it's freezing cold, you're not going to send her in summer clothes but you're sending her the way she came and BM will be very upset that she didn't come with new clothes. I'm assuming your hubby pays child support, well that money is for BM to provide proper clothes for her.

The clothes BM has for her are probably worn, ugly, and used. I wouldn't even bother. I would just buy her clothes, nice ones...and forget about bitchy BM... I buy by SS clothes all the time because his are always too small.. it makes me feel good to dress him well, he looks like a little hobo when he comes to our house from his Moms.

She is bitter because you are with her ex! Thats really all this BM drama stems from.

When we got the SKIDS from her, they were wearing pants (no underwear) and shirts with holes in them, no socks, no shoes, NOTHING. She hasn't helped with anything, and she lives DOWN THE STREET from us.

It isn't worth the battle. You probably already know that. It's still extremely frustrating none the less, but why give her the power of knowing you're pissed about it. Just go get sd the clothing she needs and don't mention any of it to bm. She is probably laughing at the fact you all are mad about the clothing. DON'T GIVE HER THE SATISFACTION! Just remember this, you have the sd safely with you... make her regret her choice to send her to live with you. Allow yourselves to be happy and not worry about what drama bm is going to cause. Once she stops getting a rise out of you then hopefully she will stop. It just isn't worth carrying around the anger! I too get frustrated with bm, but what can I do about it? Nothing! So I just move on and do what I can to make my ss life great. We also have sole custody and out bm is always starting something. It get's really bad sometimes, but my life doesn't need to revolve around what she wants it to revolve around. I'm now making the CHOICE to not get too upset by her. It's always the same things over and over and it probably won't end anytime soon either.

Good Luck!