You are here

More Progress....But I Feel Guilt

SilentlyCoping's picture

Submitted by SilentlyCoping on Thu, 07/19/2018 - 8:17pm

Went off here for a while but wanted to come back as I think it helps.  So, I have interviewed for 2 jobs, hoping to land one in the next week or so.  As you may remember this was because I needed to get out of the house.  Not only for my own sanity but to escape being a baby sitter for my DH's children, who really shouldn't need baby sitters at 12, 14 and 17 but they do not function anywhere near their ages.  

This weekend is my DH's weekend.  However, he has to work OT the next three weeks, including Saturday.  So, rather than pick them up Friday night I suggested he get them Saturday after he gets off work since they are coming to see him.  He looked at me and said, they are coming to see you too.  I said no, they come here to spend time with you.  He finally, reluctantly agreed.  Why do I feel bad? This is the same DH that decided not to get his kids at all on one of his weekends that I was out of town.  And the same DH that literally told me once that he did not feel like picking his kids up from school so could I? 

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 07/19/2018 - 8:28pm

Please don't feel guilty, just don't. You are doing the right thing.

They are not "coming to see you, too", he is full of it. He wants you to be more of a parent to his kids than he wants to be. Don't fall for it.

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Thu, 07/19/2018 - 8:35pm

Don't let him manipulate you into letting them come over when he's working.  In some twisted way he thinks that is visitation. The skids know what and who he is  You married HIM, not them.  When he see that you are happier and more pleasant to be around, he will see the wisdom in your boundaries.  He won't like them and might never admit it, but he will notice.  

decofru's picture

Submitted by decofru on Fri, 07/20/2018 - 4:45am

He is hoping the skids take you as their mom and you will be one happy family. well it doesnt work like that. You chose him and not his kids. They are related to their dad who conceived them and you are just a woman in their dad's life, no different from their dad's workmate. Would they come to the house if the dad wasnt around? Nop they wouldnt bother, so yes you were right, they are coming to see their dad and not you! People just dont like hearing the truth, they chose to comfort themselves with lies