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SD ear infection worse

I love dogs's picture

Well SD stopped taking her antibiotics as instructed on Monday even though she was told to finish them and take them to BMs. She calls me today and says that her ear pain is "excruciating" and can she come get the medicine? The ear drops are missing and I threw away the syringes to the amoxicillin because she didn't rinse them out and ants started crawling all over them. I was disgusted and threw them out because she already stopped taking the antibiotics anyway. She hasn't had them since Sunday evening even though she was told by BOTH OF US to finish them and how important it was. She left them here and nothing else was said. I must've thrown away the ear drops by mistake because they were missing from the counter.

I tell her that BM needs to call the doctor and that they don't work that way. She obviously needed to finish the entire dosage and now her body may have built a resistance to it. SD said BM will NOT call a doctor and that SD is to NOT listen to me even though I am in the medical field and BM is not. DH said just leave it alone because SD was told to take the medicine with her and didn't and we both know BM is too stupid to care, as long as she gets her way. Ahh, the joy of steplife.

Edit: I called the pharmacy and the one bottle that is left is good because it was refrigerated and less than 2 weeks old but that pharmacist is filling another bottle because the infection obviously isn't gone and said SD needs to start the treatment over since it wasn't completed the first time. 

Now BM needs the insurance card back from when DH originally got the meds. I made a copy of it for DH since I know BM gets off on being there only one to control it. She was previously in control of all medical care as CP and the court never instructed her to provide DH with a card. 

Comments

MoominMama's picture

Tough that the SD is in pain now. What a shame but no surprise. I think i would be out of sh**'s to give by now. 

I love dogs's picture

No surprise, true. SD is constantly not doing what she's told and I am tired of keeping tabs on her but it's always SOMETHING with this kid and I'd rather her be healthy. I think she needs to stop swimming until it is 100% cleared.

--figureditout--'s picture

Please allow me to tell you a little horror story about ear infections. 

My youngest son is 13 years old and has no hearing at all on his left side. As a young child, he had chronic ear infections. I was a drunk and shitty mother, so I'd take him to the urgent care for antibiotics.

He ended up getting a disease called cholesteatoma. It ate away the hearing bones in the inner ear and a large portion of the mastoid bone behind his ear. 

He was on the table for 5 hours. His ENT had a vascular surgeon and a neurosurgeon on standby. They made an incision directly behind his ear and peeled it forward. A tool similar to a Dremel was used to grind away all of the diseased bone.

We now see the ENT every 6 months and he will continue to do so until he dies. We have had clear check ups since the first surgery because we were blessed to have a rock star surgeon.

He was in the 3rd grade when this happened. So, the next time your SD gets an ear infection and is allowed to make the adult decision not to finish her meds, you let me know. I will be glad to send the lovely photos of his incision and his Frankenstein scar that he hides with hair around his ear or a beanie cap. And he'd be glad to tell her about being dizzy on carnival rides and haunted houses that even a toddler would love. Not sure if he'd tell her about how his dream of joining the Air Force was destroyed because they won't take a recruit with major health issues like his.

 

I love dogs's picture

I wish you were making that up. There are plenty of careers he will excel at, I know it. She hasn't complained of hearing loss, just the pain, and the pharmacist wouldn't order more ear drops so I guess he felt the amoxicillin is more important? I feel like she'll need a stronger dose but I'm not the doctor. Also, should DH schedule a follow up appointment with her PCP in 2 weeks when he has her for his week?

Disneyfan's picture

"DH said just leave it alone because SD was told to take the medicine with her and didn't and BM is too stupid to care, as long as she gets her way. Ahh, the joy of steplife."

How can he call BM stupid?  He knew the kid didn't finish the meds and did nothing about it.  He didn't even bother to check to make sure she had the meds when she went back to BM.

Both parents dropped the ball.

I love dogs's picture

He didn't call BM stupid, I did. She told SD to not listen to me even though I have SD's best interest in mind. He told BM that the prescription would be ready tomorrow and that the entire dose needs to be consumed this time, no exceptions, because she wasn't going to consult the pharmacy or SD's doctor.

He assumed SD would do as she was told when instructed to take the medicine to camp then BM's. He was wrong and I assumed since she felt better that she'd be fine. I should've known better so I feel bad.

Disneyfan's picture

Why are you only calling BM stupid?  What your husband did (or didn't do) was just as ridiculous as what BM did.

Both of them are lacking in the parenting department.

moving_on_again's picture

They in no way, shape, or form can control what happens at BM's house. This cannot be put on Dad whatsoever. He could have called BM everyday to tell her to give SD the medicine and the BM could have pressed harrassment charges on him. We all know telling a HCBM what to do only makes them worse. 

Disneyfan's picture

Hell, he can't even control what goes on in his house.

SD was with her father not mom when she stopped taking her meds.  Other than telling her to keep taking them, he did nothing.

Other than telling the kid to pack her meds, he did nothing to ensure that she had them prior to leaving his home.  

 

Livingoutloud's picture

These stories get my blood pressure high. None of the adults involved know what they are doing,  poor child. This child is way too young to be held responsibility for for things parents need to be doing. She was 9 last year. So she must be 10 or 11 the most. It’s dreadful. She isn’t even a teen and she is expected to parent herself. Dad had no business to have SD more than couple of days a months. It’s abuse and neglect what’s going on. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

WTH. Those eardrops should have been glued to her hand to make sure she had them and an adult should have made sure she took/used them. My SIL's youngest brother DIED from an untreated ear infection. He was 34 freaking years young. 34!!! Infections are nothing to play around with - especially in the head. Gads.

Sorry to go off, but it's dangerous to play this kind of game. Sad

I love dogs's picture

It's not a game, Aniki. We were ignorant and figured that because SD was feeling better that she would be ok. There are even a few articles online that say that some doctors 'ok' patients to stop taking the antibiotics the few days after they feel better. DH will just have to follow up with SD's PCP when her treatment is done.

Livingoutloud's picture

Don’t you have a degree and profession in medical field? Ok BM and DH don’t know squad but how do you not know that antibiotics need to be finished unless adviced differently by a doctor? Some doctors could ok a patient due to circumstances but that’s not what happened in this case! 

Willow2010's picture

I was about to make a detailed post about how wrong ALL of the adults are in this situation but a few of you beat me to it. 

Disney, Merrywey. Livingoutloud, Aniki

twoviewpoints's picture

And I'm thinking I'd be too embarrassed to be spouting 'I am in the medical field' and which household should be listened to or not, after I admitted to "accidently" tossing the ear drops and purposely having to pitch the med applicator and pretended not to notice the bottle was still in fridge long after SD had went back to BM's. 

It's not like the kid forgot a pair of socks. The kid should have gotten a dose as Dad and her were walking out the door Monday morning. The applicator should have been washed and dried and put into the bag to go to daycamp (as OP says SD was to take a dose in after at daycamp)

That's why kids are called kids, they are minors and under the supervision and responsibility of adult parents. Accurate measurement, appropriate cleansing of applicator, meds back in fridge... not to mention there is a reason most of these mixed anti-biotic have a ten day 'lifespan'. 

I'm finding it hard to believe if the kid is supposedly turning 13yrs old ( and yes, Livingoutloud, I too remember the OP's first screen name and story and age of child, but I suppose on the internet if one wants to rapidly change ages they get to *shrugs*) , that this is the very first time the kid has been prescribed oral meds, and all three adults were/are first timers at this. 

I'm hoping all the adults in this one have at least noted their errors (instead of tossing rocks at each other and pointing fingers toward the other) and learn from it. For the kid's sake. 

Livingoutloud's picture

It’s ok to change child’s age on here due to anonymity. But when it comes to child’s ability to administer medicine themselves, three years is a big age difference. It’s ok to change age on here but age didn’t change in real life. Administering their own meds at 13 might be ok but it’s not ok at 10. Way too young to expect to parent herself. 

I love dogs's picture

SD is 12 IRL. She was shown how to properly draw up the meds and told how important it is to rinse the syringe after use since it gets sticky and clogged up.

Livingoutloud's picture

Basic math just isn’t adding up to 12. But even at 12 if a child refuses to take meds, parents need to supervise. Otherwise it’s a neglect 

Disneyfan's picture

Anyone else find it odd that a parent would allow a child that young to administer her owm meds?  How does he know if she was taking the correct dosage each time?  Or that she was taking it at the correct times.

In my 20+ years as an educator, I have never heard of a school/ camp allowing kids to self medicate with anything other than an asthma inhaler.

 

I love dogs's picture

She was shown how to draw up the 5ml on the syringe and it is to the 'full' line so she can do it herself. She was helped with the ear drops. The instructions are clear: 3 times a day, morning, mid-day, and before bed. Her camp instructor may have helped her but it seems like SD was just supervised.

Disneyfan's picture

No child that age should be administering their own medication.  (This is based on remembering the age from your other name)

You constantly post about how irresponsible the kid is; how she half asses everything.  Yet, you and her  father think it's perfectly fine for this irresponsible child to self medicate.

Either that kid is not as bad as you make her out to be or her father is a nut 

 

Livingoutloud's picture

I think SD is doing great taking in consideration total lack of parenting skills or common sense in adults