no

I wish I would have never agreed to date a man with children. That was the biggest mistake of my life. No amount of love in the world will make up for it.

Been together over 11 years.  Now it's just us for the last 3 years - no adult children ever moving back in for more than 6 months (with rigid boundaries) in an emergency only.  They still create drama after drama but I don't care anymore - nothing to do with me!!

i love my husband and we are happy together as a couple but even he will admit that his children cause at times unbearable strain between us with their non stop crap.

I’m just not sure that stepfamilies ‘work’. At least not without endless grief and stress for the step parent.

That's a complex question.

I am happily married. I am forever grateful for my DH. He is a great husband who does so much for us and tries his very best to understand and love me. He has his flaws, as everyone does, but he is a good man.

My issues with stepparenting come from his ex. His kids are fine enough, and really probably the best you could ask for given how effed up their mother has made their life (and my DH has contributed some with the healthy doses of guilty parenting he falls into from time to time). I am learning, or have learned, to create boundaries so that her antics impact my life as little as possible, though she definitely still does things that annoy me.

Really, if my DH were any worse as a parent, I couldn't handle it. But he tries to be a good dad and keep his kids in check. He puts me first, and I put him (and by extension, his kids) first. He and I have a lot of respect for each other and don't shy from difficult conversation (usually). That's the only way it works.

I am very happily married and wouldn’t change anything BUT also my skids are adults and aren’t in my life 24/7. That makes a difference. But I also wouldn’t ever marry or date a man with minor kids. When I’ve met DH my DD was an adult so I’d not start over and certainky not with someone else’s kids.

If you have a parter who puts the relationship first and everybody's kids come under that umbrella then it seems to work. Disney parenting, guilt, COD and a "my kids come first" mentality don't bring healthy relationships for anyone involved, resulting in resentment, hatred and despair as well as useless, spoiled kids who can't adult. The hard part is actually seeing what sort of partner you have without the filter of "but I love him." The love fades in direct proportion to the amount of times you get treated like crap. 

I am cautiously optimistic, but my relationship (and SO's kids) are young enough that the jury is out. We're engaged, living together but not yet married. SO puts me first and the children and I love each other.  We're very happy and content. One big key to our relationship success so far, IMO, is that SO's ex-wife is sane and cooperative and the kids are treated like kids.  

I know this could all change in a heartbeat; I read steptalk so I'm aware of warning signs and what might be coming down the pike.

I’m sure there ...ha. But remember something brought us to this site. If we were all perfectly married, blended, had wonderful skids with a sane BM .... well I know I probably would have never found this site. I know when I wasn’t living with DH and skids - before BM completely lost it, I wasn’t on here. 

80% of these familes never mesh, so I guess most of us here are a statistic. Yes, 20%, No 80%.

I am happy! I love DH and we have a great relationship. He's working on himself and we talk often and feel safe discussing anything. 

It's more difficult when his older daughter is here but since she hasn't spoken with him since April, it's been a weight lifted. Sure, we are still talking about the ramifications of that, but it's better. And SD12 is not an issue 98% of the time.

...that the only way stepfamilies can work - without requiring the stepparent to have the patience of a saint, be a doormat, or be willing to give up control of his/her life to outside forces - is if *everyone* - and I mean everyone - has worked through all their issues from the divorce. I love my DH and when it’s just us, we have a blast, but when SSs are around all of DH’s guilt and sadness over not being with his kids all the time comes out. Also, BM has not moved on and insists on playing the victim, even though she is the *only* person who chose the current version of her life for herself. She filed for divorce and insisted upon it because she met someone else. She has also not accepted that DH should have an equal parenting voice. MIL still holds the divorce against DH - has told him he’s a “terrible father” and feels entitled to butt into our lives to “protect” the children. BIL falls all over himself to talk to BM - whom he was not friends with and has nothing in common with - but he and I have maybe said 10 words to one another in 3 years. With all this, I can be happily married to DH, but miserable as SM because I feel like a outsider in my own family whenever SSs or DH’s family are around.

I'm happily married and wouldn't change a thing! The key is that your husband puts YOU & whatever children you two have together first. Before their other children (yes, the horror) and obviously before the ex, but that's a given.

My husband and I prioritize our lives, our marriage, and our children over SD. People think it's incredibly selfish but it's what gives us balance and the ability to stay sane, healthy, close, and happy. 

Put yourself first. Period. Be selfish, you'll have more ability to give in the long run.

Well I mean I'm happily married... But def some changes to be made... I mean the situation SUCKS. Being a step-parent is the hardest thing I've ever done... 

The ex being Psycho def doesn't help.

If stepparenting was all fun, bliss, and joy there wouldn't be a need for this website.  You're in the wrong place if you're looking for a wonderful blended family experience.