I totally get where you are comming from.  It really sucks to allow someone to get to you that bad and to be forced to share living space with them to boot.  You're right it is petty and the fact you can acknowledge that but are still feeling the same I totally understand as well. I feel this way alot and HATE that I feel this way, I wish I could totally disengage from SDs but can't when they are entwined in my life so much, out of sight out of mind is much easier.  Keep your distance from her as much as possible and if DH won't have your back then do what you have to.  I've tried everything from prayer to meditation to erase the petty feelings I have for my SDs but nothing has worked yet.  All I can say is keep trying and keep writing.

It's not petty, it's disrespect and the more your DH allows it, the more she will do it because she knows she can get away with it. Just like how she won't do things you say because she knows DH will do it!

Yeah I get it, I've been there! It sucks because you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Just ignore her giggling and stop bringing her up or the fact that you are ghosting her to DH. Once you stop acknowledging the behavior that's when they truly leave you alone and go away. Right now you are still letting SD know she gets to you.

When Spawn lived with us I ghosted her shortly before she moved out (she had screwed me and my family over with meth mouth 1 too many times) at first she did the sh@t smirk and stupid giggling, until she realized I wasn't even paying attention to that, then she started trying to do things to get in my way physically, I would just turn and walk away and never even look at her. After she that is when she started getting in more and more fights with DH, because she no longer had me as her punching bag, and then moved out shortly thereafter.

I'd stop ignoring her and make my presence WELL known.

Comes in the pantry to eat your food? Walk between her and the food and tell her that it is RESPECTFUL to not only acknowledge others in the room, but also ask if they can eat their food. Then I'd tell her to take her towels out of the dryer before they end up in the trash.

This is YOUR home. Don't let her drive you to silence.

Who owns the house?  If you do, I'd make d@mn sure she knows that she is welcome to find a new place to live if she can't be respectful.  For that matter, so can your DH if he can't require his children to respect you.

The Ghosting AND the disengaged engagement. The ghosting sucks for both. Speaking through your DH: "tell your daughter to do this and that", when she is right there, that sucks. When I did this, my DH (then So) would complain that he felt like my attack dog. So I told him that I will simply let him figure out what needs to be done for himself. I ignored dishes or asked if he was going to clean them up. I said hello, and goodbye, but that was it. If she wanted MY strawberries and asked her father if she could have MY strawberries, DH would tell Feral Eldest to ask me, Clove herself. He did not like being in between us one bit.

Shes still snotty, but moved out, and I did her taxes and got her money back. She congratulated me on our wedding, but still is not contact with either mom or dad, or sister. I felt a chill when Feral Eldest told Munchkin she was looking at apartments in our town, because she was taking classes at local community colege, but I know she wont try to live with us again.

Yeah, I kinda think that ghosting is a losing battle. This is YOUR house, and you are DESERVING of basic respect. The snot needs to learn this. Her father needs to give her repercussions for not speaking to you. Take stuff away, and definitely STOP DOING FOR HER. A basic hello, or greeting. Asking if its ok to have this or that. Basic stuff should be required of her, this is ridiculous! You shouldnt feel like your home, your place of refuge from the world, is a battle ground. i felt like that the entire time Feral Eldest was living with us and I was there (15 .5 through to 18 and 2  months...)

Im sorry you are going through this.

Agree with everyone. While your personal feelings or actions may seem petty...It's not petty to need respect and acknoledgement in your own home. That's a basic emotional need, really. 

I wouldn't dream of being in someone's home, eating their food...using their appliances...and not speaking to them or acknowledgeing them in any way. Honestly...who exactly does this little a**hole think she is? 

I agree with others who say make your presence known in a big way. Get ridiculous about it. Make her so, so, so uncomfortable with the boundries and rules you set up. Either that...or make your DH feel the pain. He doesn't have any work clothes? Sorry, babe...your daughter wouldn't get her stuff out of the machines so I couldn't do it...and now I have to get to work. Guess you'll have to do it yourself. 

Put all of her crappy behavior back on him to fix while you take care of you.