No. Your FH's #1 responsibility is to raise his child and launch her into adulthood. He is her ONLY parent, and nothing guarantees that Aunt M will stick around.

Better to live apart until SD goes to college, then have him move in with you. His relationship with you isn't nearly as important as raising his daughter.

ETA: Remember, what he'll do to his daughter is what he'll do to you or your own children. Are you okay with the idea of your FH pawning off any future children you may have onto someone else if you were to die? Or if you got divorced, would you be okay with him ditching them for his new wife? My guess is no, you wouldn't want that for your children.

This girl has already lost her mother, and you want to take her father away, too. Despicable.

i mean, yeah, it would separate your DH from the daughter you don't like and keep you from living with someone who you see as immoral. It's also a pretty decent idea because moving into A deceased house is just miserable. It's almost like owning one of those antique houses that can't be changed in any way without permission from God, the devil and 3 of your most cantankerous neighbors.

However, this is really just a stop gap and won't play out the way you are imagining. Firstly, The girl will have a room in your home, complete with photos of her mom and whatever dress up stuff she needs for that weekend. Secondly, when your partner is splitting his time and staying at his daughter's house, you won't really be welcome. And there's your husband, living every other week with another woman. What would the church gossips have to say about that? Thirdly, say you get married next month, have your first baby next fall. Your husband will still have a young daughter to care for, leaving you on your own with a brand new baby half the time. And he will be a devoted daddy or Aunt M will tell her real aunties all about his neglect of the poor, motherless child. Come to think of it, they would notice anyhow since they seem to be fairly involved in her life. Plus, is it fair to take her one remaining parent away? If something happened to you, would you want that for your daughter?

So, you want him to pawn his daughter off onto somebody else because you don't want her around?

Please do this man (and his daughter) a favor and find somebody else. I know you said you are ugly, or whatever, but I'm sure there is someone out there better suited for you.

I think it is wrong of you ask your FDH to leave his daughter. You are touting that you have all of these moral reason why you think something is wrong with your SD but those are your hang ups, not your FDH's. Also, having another woman move in with your FDH and expect her to care for SD is crazy pants. 

Competing with a dead woman is no joke, that would be horrible. However you need to stuck it up and live as a family or move on. You don't HAVE to continue with this relationship. You do HAVE to make a choice eventually though. 

Wow, some audacity there.  Feels to me like Aunt M will be the new lady in your dh's life. 

I really want to believe this isn't real, but unfortunately I think it might be. 

unpleasant person. You expect the only parent this child has to move in with you and ignore her at least half the time because my your own admission you are too ugly to find anyone else. And as I said before, ugly on the inside is worse. 

It is not up to this family friend to take on primary responsibility for this child, especially when running from a DV situation. She needs to heal and find resources for herself. And now the child isn't his? She is his in every wat that matters. 

You want your FH to leave his "immoral"(by your opinion) MOTHERLESS daughter in a home with an Aunt, so he can have a marital home and have a new family....

I hope your FH opens up his eyes and does what's best.. calling off this engagement. His daughter will probably NEVER forgive him if he does go along with this. 

I have not spoken to my own dad for the past 8 years because he allowed my stepmother to ridicule me on a daily basis and he never once  stepped up and kept me save. She passed ;I have no relationship with my older stepbrother or my half sister (he's in prison for assault and she is in rehab for her cocaine addiction). I just recently started to connect with him again after he sent me an apologetic e-mail and this past Saturday had dinner with him. 

I pray for his daughter's sake, that he isn't so desperate to have a spouse, that basically abandons her. If he does, he has no right to call himself a father. At least not a good one!

Why would you ever want to be with someone with such low standards that they'd leave THIER CHILD in the first place?

And why would they ever watn to be with someone that would ask them to leave THEIR CHILD?

What child would want their ONLY SURVIVING PARENT to just up and leave them with an "aunt."?

I'm seeing a compatibility error no matter "who's fault" it is.

Just saying.

This cannot possibly be a real story. I feel like I'm reading a new chapter in a novel every time.

I'm sorry I must have telemudo on my brain because I just read this whole thing with a very passionate spanish accent and I swear there was a "to be continued" at the bottom.

Especially far away from this man and his daughter.  Everything else is, as others have mentioned, morally abysmal.

Get your new place and move on.  Find another man, who shares your values, who is without children.  Avoid having your own, as they are likely to rebel against the nonsense you want to impose on others.  

That seems to be the only way you, this man you are dating and his daughter are likely to find (or in the case if the daughter, hold on to) happiness.

Also agree Aunt but not real Aunt living in the house isn’t a solution that will work out for you.  By your own admission you don’t think the man you are dating is a looker either, so it seems Aunt M is coming into this at the same point you are.  

Also agree Aunt needs to heal, not take over someone else’s parenting responsibilities.  

So stop at moving out and getting your own place.  Then move on with your life and let them do the same.

should move on and find some happiness with someone who is not as drama loaded. 

You are going to buy a townhouse. You think your BF should go in on it with you (a house he wouldn't even be able to sleep in until about this time next year). Your last blog stated you planned to marry in a year.

You're told us how broke this guy is and how you, yourself, can not afford to buy quality furniture. 

If he dumps the kid with Aunt M, it is Aunt M who would be getting any social security from the child. 

You told us last blog on how the adopted BM was hated by BM's adoptive Aunts and Uncles and how BM managed to 'steal' all their inheritance. I believe you said SD2b went so far as to burn family portraits.

Now you are saying (part way down the thread) that Aunt M hates your boyfriend.Yet in this original posting of this blog you wrote about how BF thought Aunt M moving in would be great, as Aunt M would be safe and BF thinks it's good that SD2b has a woman living in the home.  Why would he want this Aunt M to move in, become custodial of SD2b and have any influence on a 12/13 yr old? A woman who hates him. 

You certainly are all over the place in spilling this all out. The poor man was half dead from his ill back sleeping on a little old cheap bed and bad mattress. Now where is he going to sleep at your wonderful new townhouse? He can't sleep with you , it's against your beliefs. And he can't bring over his inferior furniture (as it doesn't really belong to him). SD2b owns it all. And if he dumps his daughter , will he still get the small amount monthly living expenses BM left for him? 

And if Aunt M hates your BF, just how much do you think she'll like you? Your wild ideas, strict rules and foolish attempts to rid yourself of BF's daughter.  Not to mention how opportunistic