BM going to jail
Im not counting my chickens before they hatch but BM sent an emaile saying she was going away for a long time. I won't believe it until it happens. I believe this is one of her manipulation tactics for him to reply to her. He said, I started to reply but then I just pushed block button. ( She has created several email accounts to try to get through the block) She also voiced that she wanted to harm herself( yet another manipulation tactics, one of several voiced but no action taken)
I was not raised to have hate in my heart but i really dislike BM. If she chased a job like she still chases my man and that Meth pipe, she would be OK in my book. Lol
I know jail only keeps her from physically being here but i already know it's not the answer! You can still get drugs in there and get into more trouble and contemplate on how she is going to continue to be current in DH life.
BM and DH discussed whats going to happen if BM goes to jail. BM asks," will you write to me when iIgo away?" DH reply," yes, just to send pics and updates of our son only." I do not contest that but she was phishing for will YOU (DH) write ( meaning be there for her in more than a supportive way) I was alittle upset about it for the day but I got over it! Now all that might be a reality and im ok with that. Of course he will make sure i am comfortable with it all. She still gonna call non stop or as much as she can.
I wonder if BM expects DH to take their son to see her? I know she WILL believe it's her right to see him while in jail. DH says he will not take him to see her because its no place for a 5yrold to see their parent. We shall see what happens and what will play out.
What is appropriate when it comes to this?
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Wait - on the one hand, you
Wait - on the one hand, you said he blocked her, then you said he had a conversation with her about writing and having the son visit.
This woman is mentally unstable, a drug addict, and wants him back. He needs to have ZERO conversation with her about anything other than whatever is required to parent their child. If BM goes to jail for a significant period of time, he needs to go to court and get sole custody and a CO plan for any visits in jail.
Yes, he blocked her this past
Yes, he blocked her this past Monday when I thought she was blocked last Monday( reason why I was pissed) They had that conversation 3weeks ago a before she was scheduled to check in with PO. ( I said let me find an ex in jail and writ to him, how you gonna feel about that?) Well they system moves slow AF. Since been blocked BM has created several different email accounts and tries to communicate that way. When he sees it he bills every one of them. In G mail when a person is blocked the email will go straight to SPAM folder. He hasn't read or seen them because I checked( while he was sitting next to me) I dont know if he realized that?
I have no idea why he felt the need to entertain her at all since I've been living here. I seen the conversations and he get agitated and talks truth to her. Like: these are your decisions, you walk out on your son, you don't stay off drugs, iI' trying to protect my son, You know where i live if you want to see him come by and yall can visit outside, what stops you from coming? I don't have to drive an hour out of my way so you can give him a hug. Your repossessed car is not my problem.
I want that to happen as well until she is clean stay away!
Do you even know what she is
Do you even know what she is being charged with or where? I would start by looking online, many states have court systems set up so that you can see case information.
As much as I hate to say it, jails are over crowded... she might not get as much time as you would think if it is drug related, especially if it's not distribution related. Also, if she is put together enough for court and cries about her babies... the judge might be more leinient on her. Just be prepared.
Sooo... this post reminded me
Sooo... this post reminded me to check up on BM1! She missed my SS18's graduation in May due to being arrested for a DUI. She also was driving with stolen plates, assulted a police office and tried to escape custody. BM1's SM and I are friendly and she thought that BM was going to get away with it, have some probation and move on. Keep in mind this woman has been an addict SS's whole life. DH was 18 when he knocked her up and married her without realizing anything, he just wanted to "do the right thing" after a one night stand at a corn field graduation party.
Anyway, I pulled up her case online and found out she violated her monitoring agreement, is in jail currently, all the charges are pending and she has a 2 day jury trial scheduled in April. I ALMOST wish I could be there... she is such a POS. Since SS was 6 months old she hasn't ever had more than a couple of hours of supervised visitation a month and would go months and sometimes up to a year in between seeing him at all. Has 7 other kids now that are living, 3 still births that we know of. Custody of none.
7 other kids??? What a trashy
7 other kids??? What a trashy waste of skin.
Wow that makes my bio hoe
Wow that makes my bio hoe look like an angel! Well that is what's to come for me
It's her second drug charge,
It's her second drug charge, first was for drug paraphernalia and the second was a felony Meth possession less than a gram. She took it to trial and got 2 yr deferred judjfication and violated now the PO probably has filed for her arrest but it's a process wait. It in Brazoria county i know all her info and it all public record. I could have gotten my SIL to pull her info for details but I'm not that way. My SIL is a parole supervisor, plus she is not worth my SIL getting in trouble for.
She is a good actress and she is so good that she honestly thinks she is a good mother........ The day she drove herself to the police station she had a fight with her bf and he was beating on her in the car while driving Skid to daycare...... She made a huge scene at daycare(we were nitified) Then she got back in the car with the bf and driver to the nearest police station. Bf was arrested for battery and child endangerment, the BF in return snitched her out and said she has meth in her purse.......then she was arrested!!!! I cant make this stuff up!!!! LMAO She claims it was his and he put it there, further search in the vehicle they found his stash of Meth( He is her dealer as well)
It's her second drug charge,
It's her second drug charge, first was for drug paraphernalia and the second was a felony Meth possession less than a gram. She took it to trial and got 2 yr deferred judjfication and violated now the PO probably has filed for her arrest but it's a process wait. It in Brazoria county i know all her info and it all public record. I could have gotten my SIL to pull her info for details but I'm not that way. My SIL is a parole supervisor, plus she is not worth my SIL getting in trouble for.
She is a good actress and she is so good that she honestly thinks she is a good mother........ The day she drove herself to the police station she had a fight with her bf and he was beating on her in the car while driving Skid to daycare...... She made a huge scene at daycare(we were nitified) Then she got back in the car with the bf and driver to the nearest police station. Bf was arrested for battery and child endangerment, the BF in return snitched her out and said she has meth in her purse.......then she was arrested!!!! I cant make this stuff up!!!! LMAO She claims it was his and he put it there, further search in the vehicle they found his stash of Meth( He is her dealer as well)
I hope he follows through
I hope he follows through with no visits in jail. No place for a child to be. Poor kid
Based on your representations
Based on your representations of your DH's behavior in the past, he is going to write his EX encouraging letters.. he will send frequent updates re the child.. he will likely take the child to visit her.. because he does generally give in to whatever she wants. And... you are going to get an even nastier and more vindictive situation with his EX... and her family/friends. They will do all they can to torpedo any relationship with the boy.. plus.. will try to break you and your DH up.
I still would advise to leave before this circus gets into the 2nd act.
Thank you for your advice I
Thank you for your advice I know you have more experience with step-parenting then I do but I do not give up easy. He is a good man and deserves a good woman by his side he has shown qualities that I have never seen in any person I've dated he makes me happy and when she decides to disappear for weeks at a time we are fine. We do not argue at all about anything besides BM and her drama. He has taken every single and necessary action that I have suggested for her not to communicate about anything other than their son. Again thank you I do consider your kind words
If you're up for it, I'd say
If you're up for it, I'd say you be the one to work with SS to write her a letter every week/month. No need for DH to be involved, and you could turn it into a bonding activity with SS. It would show SS that you are supportive of his relationship with BM while also cutting BM off from SS.
Additionally, my guess is that you could talk to the warden regarding the phone calls. If your DH doesn't have to let SS talk to or see her, and she harasses and doesn't stop, a call to the prison might end those calls to your house.
Oh, and next time she sends an email threatening to harm herself, call the local police for a welfare check, saying you have an email where she is threatening harm. BM likely doesn't want the police all up in her illegal business, so having a few pop-in's from them may stop her.
Just some thoughts.
You can usually choose to
You can usually choose to block the jail phone number if she decides she wants to call a ton. There is an option on the phone system where you can choose not to accept calls from that number.
(I used to work in a jail....)
Perfect! This is shaping up
Perfect! This is shaping up to be a solid plan...
Yup that's whst will happen,
Yup that's whst will happen, we can hsve T-Mobile block the stste calls. If I knew where she was living I would have called the police to do a welfare check. But she lives in a crackhouse from what I'm told but a close friend of hers. Entire family and this close family friend is totally on our side when it comes to BM staying away until she is cleaned up no matter how long that is. She has also has stated in previous text messages wanting to sign over her parental rights to her child. That does not sound like a good mother. My own father was a POS and lived that type of life as well but he has never wanted more said he was going to sign over his legal rights to my mother. She is just a shity person in my opinion