The drama continues!!
In one massive argument, I was able to tell my 28 yo, SD about her poor decisions in life and the consequences for her and her 3 month old child. The anger that I released was built up for several years. It felt good.
The reason for the argument , since moving back in my home, she has been hiding in her room. This was a strategy to avoid me and my wife. One day she left the house and I went in her room to find dishes that was missing from the kitchen. Well I didn't find the dishes but I did find 5 bags of garbage. One of the bags was filled with dirty diapers.
I was mad and confronted SD. She apologized for breaking one of the rules, she agreed to before moving back in. This was a problem before when she lived with us. I pushed the issue about her laziness, attitude and her ability to care for her child. She responded by trying to get her mother to defend her. My wife stayed out of it. The. following day, my wife received a text from SD saying that she moved out. I was happy but I knew without a job and car she would be back.
That was three weeks ago, now SD is calling me, I won't answer and has sent her grandfather to talk to me about moving back in. I'm waiting for the wife to chime in about this. I will not play games with SD. She has not changed at all. Me and my wife almost separated due to her moving back in. I'm ready to fight to the bitter end on her trying to move back in.
My SD has to grow up, we can't continue to hold her hand. I know the argument that will be used against me, "What about the baby". I don't care, what about me. I told my wife two months ago, this is not going end well. I still feel that way.
She is 28 years old
Do not let her move back in. Your wife will try to lean on you about the baby but let’s face it, by 28 she should be more sorted in life by now and shouldn’t have had a child if she wasn’t self supporting.
Bags of shitty nappies in her room?! Vile.
Put yourself first. Think about your mental health and how that is being effected by having her in your home.
Well good for you- any person
Well good for you- any person of 28 years without severe disabilities is capable of looking after themselves, and she is perfectly capable of getting pregnant.You don't mention the baby's father- but unless she's called Mary and comes from Nazareth then there is a biological dad out there- what is he doing to support that child?
You say 'my home' -is it only in your name? Your home is not a charity shelter- we all like to help our kids in time of need but she has taken advantge of this nd sunds very mixed -up and entitled to the good will of all the wrong people.
She has been away fro three weeks? Where? Maybe they want her gone too- there is a pattern here and it seems she doesn't want to (or can't) take responsibilty for herself.
Maybe she is depressed following the birth of this child- she and the child sund vulnerable but that doesn't make it your problem
Suggest to your wife that she gets help and support from agencies out there that can help her stand on her own feet- otherwise the situation will become very grim and your relationship will be in jeapordy. Let us know how you get on.
Don't take her back - she can
Don't take her back - she can get a job or she can get welfare, but it's not your responsibility to support her. She will never grow up if your wife keeps enabling her.
STAND YOUR GROUND!
STAND YOUR GROUND!
I went through this also, ugly. Read my post "not now, not ever."
Sammigirl
I read your post. It is a shame with the opportunities and help your SS still chose the wrong route. My SD is not going change. My DW knows that in her heart. My DW's concern is her grandchild. However, we have 2 small children of our own. I can't be concern with SD and her baby. SD will never admit it, she wanted a baby to fill a void in her life. However, she chose a loser as a father and she betted on us taking care of her and her child.
Now I about hear for the next several weeks, think about the baby, the baby is an innocent, he didn't ask to be brought into the world. All easy to say, when you don't have live with her. I'm going be screwed, regardless, If so let it be on my terms.
Your wife can agree to be
Your wife can agree to be daycare for her grandchild while SD goes to work so she can afford a place to live for her and her kid. They don't have to live there for DW to be a good grandmother.
She's eligible for public assistance, and court will force Loser Father to pay Child Support as well. This is not YOUR problem.
If your wife really cares
If your wife really cares about that baby, she'll urge her piece of excrement daughter to give it up for adoption. All other arguments are simply attempts to manipulate you.
Stand firm!
My first thought too, give
My first thought too, give the baby up for adoption, and consider a tubal ligation.
Stand your ground. This is
Stand your ground. This is an adult. She is not welcome in your home unless you say she is. In a blended family situation where the SKids are adults either SO has veto authority. So, stick to your veto.
Good luck.