I'm not sure why. Maybe because he isn't your child and it doesn't feel natural ? Most of us have stepkids who are not as welcoming, nice, well mannered, and likeable as yours.  If my stepkids were anywhere near as nice and well mannered as yours I would be over the moon.

Because you're a male mammal with genetic programming that causes an atavistic response making you instinctively reject offspring that isn't yours.

Just look to the animal kingdom and you'll see many examples of this. Lions, gorillas, heck roosters will sometimes kill young if given the chance. It's just biology, so don't feel guilty about it.

It's just another example of how steplife is unnatural.

Sometimes we subconsciously make SKs the "other" in our relationships. Especially SKs who are of the same gender. I know I still struggle with that regarding my SD (but she used to be a miniwife so I attribute it to that). Its hard having someone else within your life and family that you didn't directly choose to be there. Yes you chose your wife but you would have chosen her without her son. It could easily be attributed to that among other things with deep self reflection.

A lot of things make step parenting hard but I would suggest trying your best to spend more valuable time with you SS, maybe just the two of you, you might find you have a lot of things in common. That's what happened for me with my SD, I actually like taking her out with me these days.

Just know that this isnt uncommon.

Kids are tough even when you have that unconditional bond that comes from creating or adopting them. As a stepparent, you come into the game with little influence on them and without that attachment. You aren't really their parent, and usually, trying to be one doesn't work. They have genes from someone who you may think is a horrible person (the other bio parent - not your spouse), and you have little control over how your spouse parents and absolutely no control over how the other bio parent parents, which can make or break a kid's ability to function.  Most people find even their own kids annoying at times, especially when they are teenagers.

Just be civil and pleasant to the kid, you aren't obligated to bond with him. You might like him more when he matures a bit.

As for your wife, she will need to find her own help for her depression, you can only do so much.

I jsut wrote a post saying pretty much exactly what you're saying, except I am wife and SS10 is my husband's son. My husband also has depression/anxiety. SS10 is a stellar young man (other than when his tween hormones start raging) and there should be no reason why I want to kick him out of my home, but for some reason, I also want to hide in my room all day when he's here. Too bad I can't because I am a SAHM and basically do everything for my kids. Luckily your wife is supportive and understanding of your feelings, because my DH is not and I have to hide how I feel most of the time.

In my post, I had members tell me that my feelings are very natural because stepparenting is just not natural. You're fighting every biological instinct in your DNA to house and raise this child that is not your blood. Of course there will be conflicting feelings. Tog Redux explains this very well in their answer. You sound like a great person. Don't beat yourself up about feeling this way. Best of luck to you.

I get it. SS12 isn’t a bad kid, but I find myself wishing he would just go away. We have never had much in common, and I find myself annoyed at his obsession for video games, how He’s always asking for things, how he thinks he’s funny but he’s not, and how he is constantly talking lately. I wish I didn’t. It would be a much more enjoyable existence if I could just enjoy his good qualities, but I focus on the things that annoy me and can’t seem to change my mindset. I have a countdown going until he graduates, and it’s not soon enough. 

Maybe it’s a lack of control thing for us? I mean.. any person, even immediate family, that you are with day in and day out.. there will be bumps. Like when you travel with extended family. But this is your home, and not a family member. So it’s a bit of an invasion of your personal private home life.

non step parents will never understand.

if he’s a good kid hopefully years will cement a bond. No need to feel it immediately.. or ever. Just do your own thing when it gets to you. 

Just FYI, I made an account just so I could reply to you. lol

My hubby has done the same thing. I have no idea why.  But let me tell you, my son18, doesn't want to have anything to do with him at all, anymore.  DH and I have been together 8 years, married the last 5.  Before we got married it was great. He treated my son nicely.  About a year after we got married, I can't even leave the room to shower without him being snarky to my kid.  He has moved out several times due to us arguing about it.  He has kids.  His son26 doesn't talk to him at all and I can see why.  The daughter28 only talks to him if he wants money.

Please figure out why you are so resentful.  Are you mad at the mom?  The situation?  Don't raise this kid with that attitude, I beg you.  I really don't understand the level of hatefulness that most of these people have on here, about their step kids, but it's wrong.  If you can't figure it out, I beg that you either leave or find a counselor to talk to.