So, Toxic Troll and her mini me, Feral Eldest, got into it again today.

They fight, they break up, they make up. Its very cyclical.

And just last night things seemed peachy. They went to Mc Dnoalds together, Toxic Troll had a "shaking car problem" and immediately texts DH at 10pm, while we were in bed. He ignores.

This am, he texts me that the two are getting into it BIG TIME. Name calling. And that he heard about it from munchkin. I chuckled and then asked him "oh, what effing crazy b!tch drunk whore? What names lol?"

This is what he texted me: (actual transcript sent to munchkin because I could not believe my own eyes)

Feral to Munchkin:

"You should just live with dad. moms never gonna sober up...shes f##ked up my whole life and now Im getting kicked out for telling her the truth that she has f##ked up my entire life with her substance abuse."

"shes ruined two birthdays in a row for me, munchkin, both slumber parties and dads had to clean it up because she decided to be drunk and go off with different men on her own daughters birthday. Shes the reason I dont even like celebrating at home at least. She thinks shes a Christian but shes not. She sits on the couch and abuses alcohol and weed and different drugs she finds her bf is all coked out but shed rather take him 2 hours away than take her daughter to the store 5 mins away and charge her daughter for that ride. I promise you, you dont want this. She makes me not want to be sober. She is going to turn me into her one day and its also exactly why Im glad Im gonna have a hard time having kids cause I dont want my kids born into something like this."

"idk that could just be my head. Im a depressed person because of her. Ill leave it at that."

"munchkin she even offered me her morphine to kill myself with when I said she'd drive me to suicide. She doesnt care about us she cares about money sex and drugs."

(end excerpt)

A part of me feels sad for Toxic Feral Eldest. She is exactly like her mother, and is on the same pathway, because she either chooses it because its easy, and she lacks a vision of hope for anything different, or shes on drugs herself and is caught in that downward spiral.

A part of me wants to swoop in and rescue this child. This very same child who has heaped abuse on me and her father and sister. This young adult, who shows potential to be a better person than that (or not).

The other part says "yes, munchkin live with us. Your Feral sister needs to rescue herself, because she has burned those bridges completely and uterly, and STILL makes no apologies, ever, to anyone. If she had apologised we might consider helping her, but right now, I am so against living with her vile personality and grimy dirtyness."

Plus I currently love my home, my CLEAN HOME, and my little "clove room". My peaceful home, where I dont ahve a resentful Toxic Eldest trying to pay power games with me, like she did before. If she moved back in, it would be certain upheaval, and certain ugliness. She would soon resent me (again), if I ask her for help or to clean up after herself. Lets not forget that she still hates me, and blames me for destroying her life. No, just no. DH can pay to help her move into somewhere else.

Another part of me is like "is this for real, or is this another one of Toxic Ferals lies and accusations?"

All these thoughts and feelings rushing through my confused brain.

I just texted munchkin a hug and positive vibes. That I knew there was some toxic stuff going on, but that we are here for her. (ie come stay with us for a while!)