New and need advice please!!
Just wondering if anyone on here has been in the situation where the stepchild grew up believing someone other than your spouse was their parent and found out later in life...around 10.
Ive been with my husband since his son was about a year old. He was getting visitation with his son regularly and paying child support to the mom. After a couple of years, the mom stopped letting my husband see his son. The courts did not do anything about it. My husband continued pating child support with no visitation rights for years, despite numerous attempts. Meanwhile, the mom was raising my stepson as another mans son. The man claimed to be his father and my stepson thought that man was his father. Everyone my stepson knew lied to him for his entire life. When he was around 10 years old he found out the truth and wanted to spend time with his real father. We were ecstatic to say the least. With my stepson wanting to see us, his mom gladly obliged but readily told us if he ever stopped wanting to see us that she wouldn’t make him. We had a good relationship and saw him nearly every weekend for years. Now, he still has a good relationship with the man he knew as his father but does not really talk to us much at all. We haven’t seen him in nearly a year. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating. Any thoughts or suggestions?
That's hard. Is it worth
That's hard. Is it worth revisiting in court, or will it just cause more trouble? Court often does cause more animosity and make things worse.
If your DH doesn't want to go to court, I think all he can do is keep the door open for his son - send regular communications, Christmas and Birthday presents, let him know he loves him, and hope for the best as he gets older.
I completely agree. Probably
I completely agree. Probably not worth revisiting in court. He is 14 now. That’s exactly what we’ve been doing and what my spouse recommends but it just breaks my heart!
As a Whole
the courts don't recognize Parental Alienation nor do they want to enforce a biodad's visitation...they WILL enforce CS though. Its too bad that biodads everywhere can't call up a Child Visitation Enforcement Agency and file a complaint...then the CVEA would send a transmittal to family court and the CSEA to suspend CS until visitation gets "un-withheld."
Exactly. Thank you
Exactly. Thank you
Hindsight is always 20:20.
Hindsight is always 20:20. So, parenting a kid that did not know your DH existed probably was not the way to go about a relationship. He has a mother and father who parent him, I was probably better for your DH and for you to be more trusted adult advisors rather than trying to parent him.
This is far from my historical perspective. However, since your DH apparently did not force BM to respect his relationship with his son and did not keep it in the courts until a CO was developed it is too late for he and you to be parents to this teen.
IMHO of course.
Good luck. I hope that your DH can force court action to get enforcable rights to his child.