Suicide notes
On Wednesday we got new carpet so we had to clear out the kids rooms. DH found to "suicide" notes in SD's room under her bed I guess. Now if you have read my previous blogs you already know that my SD is an attention whore. I think she has now done all the attention grabbing things possible. Fake injuries, fake bullies, loud/interrupts, does tricks, uses my younger son as a puppet for tricks, claimed she thought she was gay when she isn't, and now the suicide notes. I know that I sound evil not being sympathetic to these letters but even BM viewed this as an attention plow. Pretty bad if BM sees through it. Of course now DH is all in guilty daddy mode. It is our weekend to have her so I'm sure it will be a full revert back into disney daddy and tip toeing around her even though she said she wrote the letters months ago and had no plan to actually hurt herself.
When DH found the letters SD was at BM's. He messaged BM about them and BM talked to SD about it. Apparently the next morning SD went on the school bus talking about committing suicide so the bus driver and school contacted BM. BM was so upset with SD. I actually heard her talking so loudly on the phone with DH and yelling at SD about how she brought this on herself with her attention seeking and she was going to take her to the children's hospital and have her convince them that she isn't suicidal. That of course turned out to be a fake threat and BM did nothing so I'm sure SD will change her ways now.
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Wildstang, sorry to hear
Wildstang, sorry to hear about you son, and honestly if I had the power to go have her admitted to the psych ward I would have but I don't have that power since I am not her parent.
She has been seeking attention for a very long time....at least since I first met DH and she was like 5 at the time....that is why I assumed it was another attention ploy. I will google suicide trance though.
Sounds as if you've got a
Sounds as if you've got a budding Borderline there. What a mess!
It has been a mess for a long
It has been a mess for a long time and with a BM like she has I'm sure it will only continue :/
I understand why you would
I understand why you would think it's just a vie for attention.
But if the notes were under her bed, that doesn't sound like she was interested in anyone finding them. So lends one to believe this is serious.
Either way think it's best to take it serious and address it even if it turns out to be nothing. Your DH needs not act like a Disney dad but get her evaluated
I know you are supposed to
I know you are supposed to take threats seriously. BM was contacted and basically did nothing. DH went into Disney dad mode again. I have no authority to get her evaluated. Talking to DH about it really doesn't seem to be helping. He leaves all this stuff up to BM.
Suicide is on the rise with
Suicide is on the rise with everyone, including kids. Can’t hurt to take her to a therapist. She probably doesn’t need hospitalization, but an outpatient evaluation would be good.
Tog, BM does have her in
Tog, BM does have her in therapy. At least she did take that step. BM also notified the therapist about the letters.
I think the whole 13 Reasons Why show glorified suicide and SD was into that show until BM banned her from watching the rest of it.
So my thoughts on this have
So my thoughts on this have been confirmed by a recent study indicating the uptick in teen suicides is related to social media. I do believe most of these attempts/letters/loud conversations on the bus are attempts to seek attention. But it is so the wrong way to go about and that she needs therapy to understand why she wants so much of it and to learn healthier ways to go about it. Real threat or not, she has some very disordered thinking that needs to be sorted out so that the threats never materialize AND so that she doesn't learn to use suicide as a manipulation tactic.
When my SD went through her emo early teen years and pulled this junk, we locked her social media down, took her phone and planted her ass in a psych bed (where they never once kept her over night). She's 17 now and we haven't had a "suicide threat" for three years. If we had swept everything under the rug like bm wanted, I'm fairly certain we would still be dealing with those "threats."
I agree that social media is
I agree that social media is having a huge effect on teen girls. I've been in the child mental health field for almost 30 years and I've never seen so many serious suicide attempts or completed suicides in my career - it's definitely much, much worse than it has ever been. They also have a lot more pressure than I did around school, college, etc.
Even if a suicide threat is attention-seeking, there is a reason she is seeking attention in that manner, and it should be explored. Kids are stupid and impulsive and you don't want to take a chance with that.
It completely baffles me how
It completely baffles me how so many parents fail to monitor their teen's online activity. I was the only adult checking on SD's Instagram account that was plastered with glorified images of cutting, pithy quotes about suicide and romanticized views on depression. I was the only adult who thought, "um...this is effed up. She needs therapy!! She needs to lose internet access!!" Teens have access to all of these terms, images and labels that they don't understand. It's not hard to see how a kid struggling with normal teen feelings of sadness, confusion and "otherness" can quickly get sucked in to the dark side of the internet and be influenced to make bad choices.
That first kid who ate a freaking Tide Pod had probably been doing stupid crap online for years with zero parental guidance or surveillance.
Beebeel, I agree, especially
Beebeel, I agree, especially since my SD is very into attention seeking. I have thought that her attention seeking needed to be addressed long ago. She has been an attention seeker for the 6 years I have known her and she just changes tactics. I wish that BM really would have taken her down and had her admitted but I can't control that. I do know BM does have her in therapy and I have no idea if they are working on getting to the actual cause of the attention seeking or even see that as the problem :/
I also think social media is a major influence and again I would limit her social media but that isn't up to me!