Hi,

Im new to this, just felt i needed support, or a rant. My partner doesnt get it. 

Long and short - we have problems having a family of our own and Im starting to feel real resentment towards the BM or two of his kids. They are 19 and 14 year onld boys. My partners job means he travels a lot and the youngest stays with me because she was not keeping him safe, and I feel she was neglecting him. She hadnt taken him to dentist or doctor in years, didnt even have him registered, never turns up at school parents evenings or shows support and acts like a petulant child with raging mood swings if she doesnt get her own way. She doesnt wash or iron his clothes and sends him out in clothes too small and things he could easily get bullied for. He's quite immature for his age and Im trying to help him learn a few skills so he can become more independant.  She favours her other child and gives him everything, never saying no to anything, cars, money etc. This led to problems though and he now thinks he is untouchable and she will sort everything out for him, and he has got himself involved in drugs. 

I stod up to the bad behaviour and ask for respect in my house but never get this. Things get broken, i never get a sorry. I'm meant to embrace the good times and keep my gob shut when they step out of line. Its hard though as I am the one doing all the day to day looking after and yet my opinion doesnt count. I dont really know how to explain it all without writing a book......but I feel the BM is incapable of looking after kids and settign boundries, i am more like a nanny than anything, i explain to my partner and he says he gets it but I dont think he really does (probably because he will always forgive his child no matter what they do and i have more of an objective view).

Its draining, doing everything, being taxi, teacher and trying to help, getting no respect or thanks and trying to pretend to be civil to the mother for the sake of the kids. My teeth are wearing away im clenching them so hard!

How do I de-stress and stop getting so frustrated with feeling like im doing everything but still not part of the family? is it natural to feel left out as a step parent?