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Need a rant/vent

Headmayexplode's picture

Submitted by Headmayexplode on Sat, 07/13/2019 - 10:22pm

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I am sick of being the person who does everything! Cooking, cleaning, ironing, picking up, putting away, reminding skids and kids to wash, brush, eat, sleep. I’m working full time in a responsible and stressful job, alongside doing a full job at home.  

DH sits and leans and lounges while I feel I am run around to point of exhaustion. If I get fed up of it and mention I need help, I’m the worlds worst person for daring to think he does nothing. I mean playing Disney dad takes it out of a guy, but surely there might be enough energy left for a thankyou or even just a hug! 

It’s hard to keep it all together when dealing with a controlling BM, a bratty skid and teenagers  

I’m the unpaid maid and I’m resenting it. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sat, 07/13/2019 - 11:47pm

Why don't you stop being the maid? Or, at the very least, stop doing anything for DH and his kids? If you both work full time, household work should be split evenly. He should take care of his daughter. What would happen if you just stopped?

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sun, 07/14/2019 - 2:09am

SK stop coming over until DH mans up and take care of his kids.  Disengage, you are not the unpaid babysitter.   DH has to start cooking and cleaning up after SK.  Except for bed time. Let him handle everything else.  It’s jis kids. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sun, 07/14/2019 - 8:02am

No one can walk all over you if you aren't lying on the ground. Stop being the maid and nanny if you don't want to do it. Let DH get angry.

Headmayexplode's picture

Submitted by Headmayexplode on Sun, 07/14/2019 - 11:38am

ive stopped, and the DH and kids have stepped up. When they ask for something I’ve said sure go get it, do it, make it. When DH said he is hungry, I said “me too, make me something while you are there” 

its so hard as I’m used to being the do-er. Today I am a lady of leisure and feel so much better for it! 

Valkyrie's picture

Submitted by Valkyrie on Sun, 07/14/2019 - 11:44am

They tried that on me at first while they all lay in bed all day. The easy answer is ... stop doing it. The truth is no-one asked or is forcing you to do slave labor, it is our own sense of responsibility/guilt/wanting to live a clean house like normal people that makes us do it to ourselves. In a real family, we all share the chores and that is completely normal. Talk to your DH and let him know you need help with x,y,z on a regular basis or simply ask for help at the time. He will soon be getting skids to help because he doesn't want to do it himself. If that doesn't work, then simply stop doing it and let them wallow in their own filth. It is hard to do at first, in my case it took FDH three weeks to realize that his teenage son hadn't showered (yes, three weeks) and their closets were full of moldy plates... but the world did not end. Also, start taking some relaxation time at home, life is supposed to be enjoyed not endured.