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Off topic-work place romances

Downsouth's picture

Back story/run down 

I’ve been with company in this office 5.5 years. Boss been there 2.5 yrs. my assistant there 2 years and all sales team(4 of them) been there 2 years. 

I’m office manager. We have 2 sales managers(out of the 4 sales team people). 2 sales managers have been a “secret item” for a year. Everyone knows it though. Both unmarried singles. Company policy says it’s ok cuz they are same level. 

Team of all of us have good relationships. We can joke and go to co workers kids bdays help each other if someone has a flat tire etc. 

March was an odd time as company wide our systems were down, work was almost at a halt for 3 weeks. Employees started slacking and I thought when systems were up maybe they got in a rut of laziness for 3 weeks. Everyone(but one guy) was still lazy and late to work even though systems were back up. Come April tale tell signs that boss and my assistant were too chummy. Too many quiet chats. Too many closed door chats. Her production slowed. Our numbers started slacking. Another month goes by, same thing. In May I had enough and I got mad. I told boss enough was enough with slacking. It was affecting my paycheck and the office as a whole. He said he had addressed my assistants slacking and sales managers slacking as well. Things were better-for 2 weeks. June our numbers were all time low. 

Bosses wife was cheating on him-assistant was helping him catch her. The gifts he gives, the defending her, the car rides together, the coffee she brings only him every morning. Then one day I caught them kissing when I walked up to her office door to tell her something. 

I have other sales people complaining to me about it and lack of assistant doing her job which results in them not getting paid. Our one most reliable guy is at wits end and about to quit. He’s tired of sales managers not doing their job but getting paid more- I mean the one sales manager was literally taking a nap on my assistants office floor today(both women and BFFs) 

boss comes back from vacation Monday and I’ve got to say something. A year ago we were all friendly and good team but productive. Now a days -crap.

So do I only tell boss about production and moral and people being on time? 

Do I also mention a “whatever you and assistant got going on is directly affecting her work and in turn everyone’s paychecks” while also saying if there isn’t anything going on it sure does look like it to people in this office and not just myself. 

Do I skip boss and go to HR or go to our regional guy?

This is the only full time job I’ve ever had. I don’t want to get people fired but I can’t keep going in a work environment like this. 

georgina29's picture

Maybe write an anonymous letter? What does this have to do with step parenting?

not your momma's picture

People post OT stuff all the time. Don't be rude.

Downsouth's picture

There’s 7 of us in office. Anonymous letter won’t pass with only a few of us. Larger # of employees in one office maybe.

and I posted in general with title that says off topic. 

Interested in non vested unbiased thoughts or perhaps someone who dealt with similar issue and could share outcome 

caitlinj's picture

Tough one. You are between a rock and hard place. Going to hr can end up with them having a negative perception of the employee who came to them and reported it. Besides hr is almost always on the side of the boss unless he’s just really unliked by the company. I would approach this whole situation with caution. If you do go to hr you may face repercussions. Good luck.

Downsouth's picture

Like I said everyone in office has good relationship for an office. No one is up tight. If anything I’m the most uptight/ridged there. 

Im leaning toward a talk with him next week when he’s back from vacation and he sees the lack of work done this week. I feel like I can talk to him, heck I’m the emergency contact on his kids school papers! But the fact he’s probably sleeping with my assistant leaves me the doubts about that aspect. When I complained about everyone being late and goofing off last week to him by simply saying “what is going on with everyone’s time lately?” He immeadatly jumped and said “well assistant was here til 9pm last night! And sales guy was here til 8” I said “I wasn’t talking about just last 2 days-it’s been last 2-3 weeks”. He didn’t have a reply. I want to bring up all issues including the “whatever is going on between you and assistant is hindering her production” but not sure how he will take it. If he gets defensive that’s a clear sign. 

He told us all In May that he was getting divorced when his wife came back from involuntary 5 day stint in psych hospital. She tried suicide since he found out she cheated on him for like the 25th time. The fact we know all this... shows how “open” we all are with each other. But he is on a trip right now with the wife he’s leaving. Go figure. So needless to say he’s been a lot preoccupied himself with his own drama.

ive had people complain to me about boss being “unavaible”, assistant slacking, sales manager female doing squat but getting paid more. Then I’m over here complaining about it all!! Lol 

momjeans's picture

Do I also mention a “whatever you and assistant got going on is directly affecting her work and in turn everyone’s paychecks” while also saying if there isn’t anything going on it sure does look like it to people in this office and not just myself. 

Do I skip boss and go to HR or go to our regional guy?

This is the only full time job I’ve ever had. I don’t want to get people fired but I can’t keep going in a work environment like this. 

What nightmarish conditions for such a small office. Heck no don’t go to your “boss” with this - go straight to HR.

Taking this straight to the source of the problem could get YOU fired. 

Also, I hope you made photo documentation of the co-worker(s) napping on the floor. 

SteppedOut's picture

I agree with going to HR. 

Not only will this solve productivity in your office, but this is a huge sexual harassment liability for your company. 

Downsouth's picture

The one reliable sales guy who shows up on time and complains right along with me said that we should wait for the fling to fizzle out on its own or let them get caught by someone else-not just me.

I’m pretty sure the female sales manager who was napping yesterday knows about assistant and boss and she will be quiet because she’s sleeping with other sales manager. 

But what if it doesn’t fizzle out? How many months do we go and let productivity go to crap? 

susanm's picture

You mentioned taking it to regional.  You may not have to take it to them.  How often do your numbers get submitted to them and how often do they do oversight?  What is your estimation of how long your boss has before he gets called on the carpet by HIS boss for the decline?

Downsouth's picture

Regionals can see daily. However the most impact numbers have are for monthly. Every week there’s a call with boss and regional on the week before. Regional comes to our office every other month. Last month he was here and he even talked to me about staying on top of everyone. Regional has already jumped on boss about numbers-twice in the last 3 months. This month ain’t looking too hot either. But I know regional is gonna see this weeks numbers while boss has been gone and flip! It shows lack of work when boss left. Sales aren’t my area but I get money for each sale that makes it through to the end and my job is making sure when it gets to my desk it counts for that month. I can’t make anything count if assistant ain’t processing things to get to me and sales guys ain’t selling. 

susanm's picture

It seems to me that the shit is going to hit the fan without you lifting a finger.  There is oversight for a reason.  I would sit tight, make sure that you have a complete paper trail showing that all work available to you was done fully and on time, and wait for the axes to fall on the heads of those who have been screwing - literally - around.  Make sure nothing gets splashed on you and you'll be fine.   

Thisisnotus's picture

unless you want to risk losing your job, I would just mind your own business unless this totally and directly affects you personally or worsens. The term "kill the messenger" is usually the case with things like this especially for someone wanted to call others out on "morals".

How would I approach it? I am not the moral police or the office monitor/mother...so I'd likely tell the assistant in a friendly and funny way that she should keep the relationship under wraps and stop kissing or anything at work.....because people are talking. I certainly wouldn't shame anyone, but I am not like that.....and then I'd want all the gossip from her b/c thats how I roll haha

Downsouth's picture

The thing is her lack of productivity affects my work and my pay. And everyone else’s in office as well. Her lack of productivity is because she’s perched sitting criss cross on bosses desk for hours at a time, keeps a random whenever she decides to show up for work schedule(it’s noon and she’s not even here. We open at 8am) AND because she’s messing with boss he does nothing about it and let’s her sit in his office and run her own show. 

Ive got a guy ready to quit due to her lack of work in which he ain’t getting paid and he’s late 2 months on his mortgage.  I got another guy who can’t afford to get his sales license renewed because she’s not doing her work. These guys are coming to me for help. 

In another hour I’m gonna be work-less because she hasn’t sent me squat files to process and in an hour the rest of our months turn out rests on her shoulders. And she’s not even here. 

The 2 sales managers sleeping together for a year... I don’t care cuz that doesn’t affect my pay or anyone else’s pay. 

Thisisnotus's picture

tell all of those people coming to you with concerns to go to the boss.

Something isn't right if everything going wrong in this office is the one girls fault and all of this stuff lays totally on her shoulders....like everyone elses paycheck....yikes.... She isn't doing her job, so that is worth addressing but I wouldn't address the relationship b/c that isn't really besides the point.......I guess what I am saying is if you go to the boss about it....stick to work issues.....if he still does nothing....go to his boss....and then go to HR. But don't start being the moral police b/c you don't agree with the affair......so just tread lightly.

pwoodlson's picture

I always recommend going to the source( coworkers) when there problems but with a understanding calm approach. My experience is going to hr or the boss may possibly cause you more problems than you want to deal with.