He was brought up in a divorced home. His mother allowed her boyfriends to get on to him and when he came to live with his dad, he was left home after school for 7-10 hours while his dad worked.
I started working at the age of 15. That’s also when I started contributing to the household and paying my own car payment and insurance. Granted, this was back in the 80s, but I was giving my mom roughly $200/mo for these things AND attending high school.
I started working at age 10 so I could earn/buy a bicycle. My Dad said he would pay half - same deal we all got. My siblings started working at age 15. I was determined...
I started working at age 15 as a part-time waitress. I had to pay $40 rent, my own car insurance and gas for my car. My parents saved the rent I gave them and I used it to buy my first new car. At 18, they said they wouldn't charge rent if they knew I was saving my money. I did. It all taught me very valuable lessons.
Yeah they forgot that bit. I'd really suggest OP hold dad to some kind of exit strategy. This is the kid who is supposedly going into the military? It's not like in the movies. They're not going to be interested in someone with authority problems to "make a man out of him". There's no military service in lieu of jail. Sure, they know how to work with typical immaturity that comes with being 18 if a recruit is genuinely motivated to put in the effort, but I'm not getting this vibe here. That and any behavior, legal, or psychological problems he may have will be an issue.
I'm curious whose idea this was. If he is really wanting this, it's time for Dad to have a come to Jesus talk with him cause it doesn't sound like he's going anywhere unless he has a change in attitude, which means OP is going to be dealing with this a year from now, just like Coast Guard girl's SM.
Sitting in front seat of the car, walking in front of me when hubby was pushing the stroller with our 2 kids in, treating me like a maid or being talked down to like i was way at the bottom after them and their bio mum
this is all because bio mum knows no boundaries and hubby was too afraid to lay basic ground rules
Chef wanted to turn me into maid and financial backer with zero input. Ferals were taught they were BFFs with mommykins and daddy drools (as well as eeeeeeeevvvvvvvviiiiiil SM)
Seems 98% of CODs living with mommykins as CP have this disease.
I remember this well! "I am 18 and an adult. You can't tell me anything! Now drive me to the mall and don't forget to buy cupcakes when you go grocery shopping." Followed by "Daaaaaad! She is being mean to me. I am just asking for a favor and she said that I am an adult and can do it myself. That's not fair!"
I was very clear to DH and the skids that I lived up to my obligations while they were children but once they were "adults" I was set free. Things got very uncomfortable for them very quickly and hastened their exit. SD took a bit more of the "direct approach" but I had no guilt whatsoever and I still don't. If she got hit by a bus and was in a full body cast then she could come back to heal. Other than that, 3 days visit for a holiday at most. Even DH has had it with "Miss I am an Adult."
OP, your DH needs to tell SS that yep, you can't tell him what to do, but you also no longer have to provide a roof over his head, food and clothes, and definitely don't have to provide a phone and Internet.
But DH doesn't do that, does he? He just tells you to leave him be.
Comments
Smoking Crack.
Smoking Crack.
Just kidding. I have no idea. I would never have talked to my parents the way kids do today.
SS19 has tried that a couple of times, he gets smacked down real quick and is full of apologies but I know that isn't what is happening in your case.
Lol smoking
I would believe that 100% if I didn’t know he was gonna try to go into the military
A false sense of superiority.
A false sense of superiority. Especially if he's been catered to by his parents.
This!
This!
False sense
He was brought up in a divorced home. His mother allowed her boyfriends to get on to him and when he came to live with his dad, he was left home after school for 7-10 hours while his dad worked.
So if he equal
He should equally be bring in money and doing equal work in the home.
I agree.
I agree.
I started working at the age of 15. That’s also when I started contributing to the household and paying my own car payment and insurance. Granted, this was back in the 80s, but I was giving my mom roughly $200/mo for these things AND attending high school.
I started working at age 10
I started working at age 10 so I could earn/buy a bicycle. My Dad said he would pay half - same deal we all got. My siblings started working at age 15. I was determined...
I started working at age 15
I started working at age 15 as a part-time waitress. I had to pay $40 rent, my own car insurance and gas for my car. My parents saved the rent I gave them and I used it to buy my first new car. At 18, they said they wouldn't charge rent if they knew I was saving my money. I did. It all taught me very valuable lessons.
I agree
I did the same thing! I do not understand these idiot kids who think we owe them something!
Equal
Hell yeah! I agree 1000%! But he is not made to. So I have developed this “not my circus, not my monkeys” attitude.
His father, most likely.
His father, most likely.
Oh Good. Adult? Then GTFO and
Oh Good. Adult? Then GTFO and support yourself. Ciao!
Yeah they forgot that bit. I
Yeah they forgot that bit. I'd really suggest OP hold dad to some kind of exit strategy. This is the kid who is supposedly going into the military? It's not like in the movies. They're not going to be interested in someone with authority problems to "make a man out of him". There's no military service in lieu of jail. Sure, they know how to work with typical immaturity that comes with being 18 if a recruit is genuinely motivated to put in the effort, but I'm not getting this vibe here. That and any behavior, legal, or psychological problems he may have will be an issue.
I'm curious whose idea this was. If he is really wanting this, it's time for Dad to have a come to Jesus talk with him cause it doesn't sound like he's going anywhere unless he has a change in attitude, which means OP is going to be dealing with this a year from now, just like Coast Guard girl's SM.
They forgot
It is all the ss that decided this. Recruiters now days, don’t care. They want the numbers.
Yes, this is sadly true!
Yes, this is sadly true!
Adult?
I feel the same way.
These ferals
have been told by guilty daddy and GUBM that they are on the same level as an adult since TODDLERHOOD and faaaaar superior to dad and SM.
A.S.S. Adult Spousal Status
Ferals
I see that! Neither parent has ever truly been a parent!
My skids were acting this way even before turning 18
Sitting in front seat of the car, walking in front of me when hubby was pushing the stroller with our 2 kids in, treating me like a maid or being talked down to like i was way at the bottom after them and their bio mum
this is all because bio mum knows no boundaries and hubby was too afraid to lay basic ground rules
Before turning 18
That is 100% the case.
A
friggin men!!!
Chef wanted to turn me into maid and financial backer with zero input. Ferals were taught they were BFFs with mommykins and daddy drools (as well as eeeeeeeevvvvvvvviiiiiil SM)
Seems 98% of CODs living with mommykins as CP have this disease.
I remember this well!
I remember this well! "I am 18 and an adult. You can't tell me anything! Now drive me to the mall and don't forget to buy cupcakes when you go grocery shopping." Followed by "Daaaaaad! She is being mean to me. I am just asking for a favor and she said that I am an adult and can do it myself. That's not fair!"
I was very clear to DH and the skids that I lived up to my obligations while they were children but once they were "adults" I was set free. Things got very uncomfortable for them very quickly and hastened their exit. SD took a bit more of the "direct approach" but I had no guilt whatsoever and I still don't. If she got hit by a bus and was in a full body cast then she could come back to heal. Other than that, 3 days visit for a holiday at most. Even DH has had it with "Miss I am an Adult."
OP, your DH needs to tell SS
OP, your DH needs to tell SS that yep, you can't tell him what to do, but you also no longer have to provide a roof over his head, food and clothes, and definitely don't have to provide a phone and Internet.
But DH doesn't do that, does he? He just tells you to leave him be.