Who would have thought 'let kids be kids' would result in this? Not your wife.

I foresee more calls from the school. Even if this school call results in a wake up call for your wife, it is going to take time and consistency to reverse the child's behavior.

Dealing with school behavior issues is one of those things that really bothers me when it comes to the skids. First week of school here SS9 got into a fist fight with a group of kids, 2 other boys and a girl, as well as stealing supplies from his classroom. The whole story was ridiculous but I got the phone call and let his dad deal with it. I don't want to be bothered with any of it, I just let their dad pick them up when it's needed and have to face the school, not my problem.

Glad you directed the school to your wife as well! 

Ths kid should spend the rest of the day in bed with no electronics.

My applause for the teacher that kicked the tantrum throwing puker out of class.  Time for more teachers and schools to put behavioral issues back on the parents where they originated.

My guess is that this is a result of DW not applying much in the lines of discipline historically so my guess is that there will be little disciplined applied this evening based on this new manipulation tactic.  My response would be to swat the kid on the rump, let them know that rage vomiting will result in her cleaning up her own puke and then having to sit with her nose in a corner until her behavior aligns with reasonable.

Buy a drool bucket, hang it around her neck and let her know that if she can't keep her tantrums under control that she can wear the drool bucket to school so that she does not make a mess when she throws a tantrum and has the manipulative pukes.  No need for a large bucket, just something that makes a point and differentiates her from the more calm classmates.

When my little brother came home from being born, I was 6yo and started wetting the bed and falling out of bed at night.   Dad put me in a diaper and I slept on a pallet on the floor instead of in bed.  That lasted one night. I took off the diaper, put away the pallet and never wet my bed or fell out of it again.  When SS was 6-ish he started wetting the bed.  We put him in a diaper and he wore it in public, at home, etc.... That lasted one weekend. He took it off, told us he would not wet the bed again and didn't.

If there is no medical cause for the pukes, etc.... then application of consequences that change the behavior is what needs to happen. 

IMHO of course.

great reaction to tell them to call her boss. Leaving work to pick up a kid, whether sick or not, is something only a parent does in my opinion. If I got a call from SS's school (which I would not, since I'm not a contact to my knowledge) unless I had absolutely nothing going on (which happens never) no way would I put a Skid before my career. Hell no.

OP I support you. No one on this post agrees with anything Merreywey says. Don't pay any attention to her. She's just being antagonistic for the sake of it. Other step-parents on this site have called her out for secretly being a bio mother, who is bitter and has a vendetta against step-parents in general. 

DH phone number. Tell them NOT to call you.

mixed feelings about the way the school handled the situation. Yesterday I had Kinders ( I work in a K-8 school) and during my time with them we talked about the rules, the importance of safety, etc. We had criers, one whiner, some pretty blatant breaking of the rules and one kid who looked like he was going to puke (he was also a crier lol). They are young, some are scared, some have only been with a parent before this, and so on. I am mindful of the littles. If she were 8? Yeah. I would send her butt to the principal's office for breaking the rules but Kinders are learning and I do not expect compliance Day 1. I don't expect compliance Day 10. By December I expect that 99% of the kids will have it down and I adjust my expectations as I get to know the kids. 

If I were in your SD's classroom I would have pulled her aside, gotten her to calm down pre-puke and we would have had a conversation abut what she was struggling with and why. And then thrown in some positive reinforcement each time she followed a new rule. 

Now, I did have to tell a group of 8th graders that they would get up and clean their tables. When they didn't comply I made it 100% clear that non compliance was not an option. So I am not a coddler at all. 

I used to work with this woman and the school would call her every single day. She would sit on the phone and half heartedly explain away why her son couldn't follow the rules or be expected to behave. It was sickening to listen to. When all that didn't work and the school would demand a meeting or that she needed to come pick her kid up she would complain bitterly to all of us about how awful and rigid the school was being.
I figure her kid just needed a wide open field to go be feral in.

Unfortunately the dynamic in place will eventually tear apart the relationships.  When things aren't fair, notice I said fair and not equal, resentment sets in.  Nothing is more destructive.  Husband resentful of wife's lack of parenting.  One sister resentful of unfair treatment of other sister.  As adults, sisters will have no relationship because one will be a total slacker and the other will eventually tire of her child like behavior from an adult.  

Enabling small children to not face reality and how to handle stress leads to incompetent adults.  Some of them grow up to be so full of themselves they think they can go onto forums that are not meant for them and spout off irrelevant advice that doesn't apply or pushes further the dysfunction they grew up with.  

OP, you did right by making the mother of said puker deal with it.  Keep doing it and raise your daughter to be an adult.  The other one will grow up to be a really tall child.  

not Drac0 but I miss him too.   I do think all step parents should buy stock in Nutella though.  *lol*

I have some questions about your last few posts:

When you and your wife fought about replacing the I-pad that SD broke,  what points did she try and use to argue her case?

Also, you said that your wife is terrified of getting SD to do anything unpleasant. Have you tried sitting down and point blank confronting her about this?  She seems to be absolutely away with the fairies, and totally living in Noddy Land. You might have to snap her out of it by withholding all the goods things in a loving relationship (like affection, friendly chats etc) until she gets a wake up call.

Stop letting her get away with trying to smooth over incidents with lame excuses. Bring her up short, call her out on them, and explain why they're unacceptable.