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Sad Day - OT

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 10:18am

So I'm having a rough day.  I knew what today was, obviously... I dunno who remembers it, October 31st was the day my cousin went missing while on a trail run.  November 1st was the first day of the search, and the day my mom called to tell me...

I've always been close to that cousin.  We hung out in college, hung out after college, I was at all his milestones, he was at mine.  Similar interests, both into trail running, running in general, etc.  We went to each other for advice.  I'd legitimately consider him one of my absolute best friends.  When i moved to get married, he was one of few people I actually kept in contact with.  We would talk on the phone for hours, text, etc.

With everything going on in life, I find myself wanting to call him more and more.  Like I just NEED his advice, or just his ear since I'm going through so much.  I just want to talk to him.  He's always been my go-to.  So I miss him.

As I'm going through this disaster, trying to make big life decisions, feeling like a mess.  I just miss him.

My Grandma called this morning though, I think some days she just knows. She tlaked to me for a bit, saw how things were going, checked on me, and asked if i was doing alright.  I cried.  

 

I know none of this is step related, but here it is.  I'm looking for a new pair of trail running spikes so I can try and do a trail run in his honor (I'm sure I'm super out of trail shape though!). But he was just one of those pivotal people who will always be missed.

 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 10:20am

I'm so sorry, PA. Doing a trail run in his honor sounds like a lovely idea. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 10:25am

Very sorry for your loss!  I hope your family gets closure soon!  That is a wonderful idea to have a hike/run in his honour.  Can it be a charity drive to raise funds for an investigation? 

 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 12:29pm

He was found after 3 days.  Slipped while running. It was a blessing to have found him so quick. There were really bad snowstorms right after and we would have had to wait until the snow melted to go back up.  The only real tender mercies were being able to find him, and also the autopsy showing that it was immeadiate and he didn't pass from the exposure.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 10:33am

I am so sorry.  Anniversaries are so hard.  The thing that comforts me when mine come around is remembering that good people should be missed.  It is right that there is a hole in the world when they are gone.  It means that their life truly meant something.  Your cousin will never really be gone so long as he is held in your heart.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 11:16am

Awww, ((hugs)) to you, PA.  Some people can just leave such a void in our lives.  It's so hard to not be able to confide in them and talk to them, but I'll bet you know what your cousin would advise you to do.  I think a trail run is the perfect way to honor your cousin.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 12:31pm

I'm sorry, PA. It may be of little comfort, but he died doing what he enjoyed in an absolutely beautiful place. I'm up that way regularly in Spring/Summer/Fall, and think of your cousin every time. ((hugs))

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 1:03pm

Ugh, I'm sorry.   Such a tragic way to lose someone.  Not to one-up you, but 10/31 was the second anniversary of my father's death.  I never liked Halloween much before, anyway.

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 2:23pm

My condolences on losing such a close friend and relative.

queensway's picture

Submitted by queensway on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 3:17pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain. Your love for him is still here and will always be. Hold on to the feeling of love. It doesn't stop because they are no longer with us. Talk to him in your prayers. He will hear you. HUGS

Lollybobs's picture

Submitted by Lollybobs on Fri, 11/01/2019 - 9:31pm

A trail run sounds like a perfect way to honour his memory. Sorry you're hurting...losing those we love is shite. Hugs.