Problems with step brothers
In need of advice.
My children have been seeing their dad regularly now for about 6 months. He is in a relationship with a woman that has her own children as well. Recently I found out that when my daughter (12) stayed the night at his house she had a friend (12) stay the night also. Their dad's gf has a son (15) My daughters friend woke up to her son putting his hand in her pants feeling on her butt. The police were called and there wasn't much of an investigation. I have expressed concern to my ex-husband for our daughter safety. He is dismissing my concerns, stating it's none of my business beings it happened in his home. He said his step son is afraid of him and he knows he would never try to touch our daughters. The other thing is my kids don't have their own room at his home so they sleep in the living room. I do not feel it's safe for my daughters to stay the night there while this other boy is in the home. He has never really followed the court order to get overnights, I just let them do it because I though it was the right thing to do. Help!!
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Why did the police dismiss this? Did your ex steamroll them.
This is unacceptable. Have you contacted the police? If he does not have CO right to overnights, stop them immediately
The police won't tell me much
The police won't tell me much. They also aren't calling the victims parents back. Yes I believe my ex husband has manipulated them into believing that I'm blowing this out of proportion. There is a court order stating that he needs to see them for 6 consecutive Sundays then he gets them every other Sat overnight. He hasn't seen them for the 6 Sundays. So I have informed him per my atty request that he can just see them on Sundays during the day.
So if you are saying he has
So if you are saying he has no court-ordered overnights, then stop sending them for overnights. If he takes it to court, you can bring up your concerns there (and your daughters will have a law guardian). If he's agreeable, the alternative is that they only spend the night when his SS isn't there.
There is a court order. He
There is a court order. He had to see them for 6 consecutive Sundays. He never did this. He saw them in random days. My kids were begging to stay all night at his house so I gave in. Assuming nothing bad would happen. Beings he never followed the court order he really doesn't get them for overnights. So I have stopped letting them stay the night. I told him he can go back to his Sunday's during the day. Of course he's upset.
Then he can take it seriously
Then he can take it seriously and make sure his SS isn't around his Ds.
Contact the police & CPS, make sure the Friends parents do so as
well. Require that he take his custody time outside of his home OR when the SS isn't there and u can validate that. Your duty is to your daughter. The SS won't stop and if he was so afraid of your ex he would not have tried to molest your daughter's friend in the first place. If it is not required by the court do not let them visit over night. It stopped being the right thing to do when he failed your daughter and her friend.
I'm guessing that it was your
I'm guessing that it was your daughter's friend or her parents who called the police, and not your XH or his girlfriend. If that's the case, ask the friend's parents for more details and a copy of the police report. Try to find out why there wasn't much of an investigation. The more information you have, the better decisions you can make.
If you are truly concerned for your daughters' well being at your XH's house and your XH does not have court ordered overnights, then I wouldn't send your daughters there for overnights. I'd offer him another way for him to see them. There is no way I'd put my kids in what I thought could be harm's way. You said your XH never really followed the court order to get overnights; what exactly would he need to do to get overnights under the court order?
The police have said the
The police have said the investigation can take months, I don't believe that. They are dodging me as well as the other girls parents. It doesn't make sense to me. In order for hi to get overnights he had to see them for 6 consecutive Sundays in a row. He bet did that. He would just see them various Sundays. My kids kept begging to stay the night at his house and he threatened me to take me back to court if I didn't let him have them overnight. I felt it was good for my kids to have that time with their dad. So now I told him beings he hasn't followed the court order, per my attorney I don't have to let him have them for overnight. Obviously he doesn't see it like that.
Take your DD and file your own complaint
You say kids plural, is the kid who who her stepbrother touched still beggin you do stay the night
I'm confused.
You say that the police were called, but do you know if Child Protective Services is involved?
You need to contact the parents of your daughter's friend and get as much information as possible. Also, contact CPS yourself and report the incident. And as has been recommended, start collecting and maintaining documentation on all of this: dates, names, covos, and reports. That way you'll be prepared if your ex decides to take you back to court.