I wish I had her confidence ( or I was a sociopath???)
Funny thing happened, my SO finally told his ex-wife all the things that needed to change including:
1. She needs to stop texting so much, when she is parenting she needs to parent
2. that he will not meet her in private, that she is a cheater, a sneak and not a trust worthy person and that I also had no reason to trust her - this was me not wanting her in the house because she is nosy and its not her home
3. that gifts from his daughter are okay but if she finds something and just needs money for it, gifts that ex-wife picks out are not appropriate
This was a discussion where I made some of these my concerns, he addressed them because he is a good man. At the same time she springs it on him that she just accepted a new job where she travels Tuesday-Thursday and one week a month she is also gone Sunday and Monday. So he needs to change his parenting nights. They didn't have a formal agreement when they divorced so these things ALWAYS change. My SO is a good man and a good dad so having his daughter isn't an issue. The principal issue here is that his ex who is a single-mom feels that she can just accept a position where she is gone 14 days of the month and expects her ex-husband to take care of the parenting time WITHOUT discussing it with him first. He of course told her he would get back to her, maybe to make her sweat a bit but shit I am sorry a person who has no actual family or support system in the area REALLY doesn't have the luxury to just up and take a job where they are on the road half the month. Her job she is leaving is a high paid position where she maybe traveled 2-3 days per month.
Yep, these sociopaths think
Yep, these sociopaths think they can do whatever they want and they probably will get away with it because you know they are the victim's and all. BM over here took my DH to court and there is a CO set in place but she still thinks that she can do whatever she wants and she does get away with it. In her eyes my DH has to follow it or do what she says but evidently the CO doesn't pertain to her since she is the CP. That is the way the cookie crumbles.
She is ALWAYS the victim. Yet
She is ALWAYS the victim. Yet she is the one who carried on an affair for years of their marriage, she is the one who had a child and then took jobs and had bands she played in for years which made it so she never had to be home while my DH was home with their daughter. She barges into our home on occassion when she gets her daughter- NOT ANYMORE she lies ALL the time, she ran up thousands of dollars in bills and debt that he is still trying to make sense of. I just don't understand her
Its presumptuous on her part
Its presumptuous on her part for sure, but my feeling is that a parent (either parent) should be ready, willing and able to assume 100% responsibility for their own child. So I could see how she could use that type of rationale. But again, it was presumptuous and an a-hole move.
I have little issues with his
I have little issues with his daughter with us more, she and I get along fairly well I am more pissed out of principle that she made such a large decision without first speaking to him.
This women is something else!
This women is something else! So when she left her last job my SO's older son aged 20 was on her Health Insurance, when she dropped it my SO asked her for documentation so he could present it to his employer to get health insurance, at that time she said "We are not married anymore, I don't owe you anything, I am not doing it etc..."
Today she must have been completing her benefits for her new job and text him asking if she should try to get his son on her insurance again, of course he asked my thoughts and I of course said NO FRIGGIN WAY. You set boundries and now she is going to look for ways around them, your son is 22, has a good job and can get his own insurance or if it is that much of an issue you can put him on yours. Backstory, his son and ex-wife have NO love lost, the ex-wife a few years back made my SO choose between his son and her and their daughter. She has done nothing but make his sons life a living hell for the 12 years they were together. So this was not her coming to him as a peace offering this was a control- power move. My SO said thanks but no thanks and agreed with me but good lord...