Hey everyone, first time posting so please bear with me. My SO and I just got married this past June, we've been together for almost 8 years. I guess I'll state first... I am unable to have my own child, so being a step parent has been both a blessing and a curse, lol. I was 25 when we got together, his daughter was 3 at that time. Now she's 11 and doesn't remember a time when I wasn't apart of her life. We get my SD11 for the summer and Christmas break, which has been the arrangement with BM for the past several years. Dealing with BM has been one hell of a struggle on its own, she is very insecure but tries to defy the insecurities with being overtly overpowering. I've had to deal with her hitting on my SO by rubbing her boobs on him as she walks by, showing him her "sunburned" bare butt, giving extrememly long and sexual-like hugs... I could go on and on. This chick is ridiculous. And she has no control over her emotions, so trying to have an adult conversation with her is like getting your own teeth pulled without the local anesthetics. But I digress, throughout the years I've had to deal with her craziness and everything that goes into making a split family work. When does it get easier?!?!? For a long time I felt like an outsider in our home, whenever my SD would come stay with us EVERYTHING revolved around her. She became so spoiled that she turned into a bully and couldn't handle competing for attention with other kids. She would get other kids to fight each other to see who would be her friend that day. One time I went on a week long cruise with my BFF for a week, while my SD was visiting, and came back to my SO having let my SD sleep in our bed every night while I was gone. (I was so mad)! So when I came back, SD was not having it, and didn't want me to get any sort of love or attention from my SO. She has had trouble in school making friends because she was an only child for 7 years, and was beyond doted upon by every single adult that was in her life. She became the queen of everyone's castle. Now that she has a brother (from BM), she doesn't get all the attention she once did and is able to get along with kids better. I love my SD11, but I feel like we are just the "side" parents who have no say in how she's being raised. I bought the poor girl a training bra, because she NEEDED one and BM FLIPPED out on me. For over two hours my SO and I were berated and told we were body shaming her kid.... What??? My SD11 is lazy and overweight, has bad eating habits, and is looking more like a 17 year old than the 11 yr old she is! She now weighs more than I do and wouldn't be able to fit in most of my clothes. We've paid for her to take special sports classes in hopes that she would become inspired to live a more active life. But BM and her BF refuse to acknowledge this path of bad health because to them, we are just body shaming her. So, I feel helpless. My opinion sure as heck doesn't matter to BM. Feeling like a glorified babysitter is shitty. And here's where my own guilt comes in... After about a week of my SD11 here, I'm freaking OVER IT. I want to get back to our regular routine of running our business, and not having our days revolve around her every whim just because we're not full-time parents. BM and her BF take SD and her brother to exotic trips all over the world, she's been to more places than most adults I know, including us! SD gets to see and do things that most kids never even dream of doing, so now it's not a big deal for her. There's no true appreciation or wonder/amazement because it's all the same to her. When she is with us and we don't have a crazy vacation planned, I feel so much pressure to entertain her. But once a week has passed I find myself disengaging, hiding in my room, and not wanting to interact. I get more easily annoyed with my SO and start wishing for the time that SD goes home. So... seriously, guys. Does this get easier? Because I'm already dreading the teenage years, haha! I feel like a bad SM, but I don't know any other step parents my age. Eeryone else is able to have their own and can't relate to these feelings I have. I'm tired of feeling alone.