SD9 Driving Me Nuts
My 9 year old step-daughter is super annoying. I don't remember my son being like this when he was this age. I even asked my mom if I was annoying at the age of 9 and she said no, not even close to how obnoxious my SD9 is.
I find it so difficult to be around her. She uses a very whiny voice around her dad to get attention, she asks the same obvious questions over and over, she literally lies on the floor in the kitchen while we're cooking and moves all over while lying on her back, she can't sit still while eating, has horrible manners, talks in a baby voice quite often, she needs constant attention and to be entertained. She steals my spot on the couch as soon as I get up to use the bathroom, she is rude and bossy. She is very ungrateful and spoiled. I can't deal with her anymore.
I have never raised my voice or discipline her, it's all on SO to do the disciplining. He has a passive parenting style, which also just makes me so angry.
My SO doesn't get annoyed with her behavior the way I do. He doesn't even notice half of the crap she does. We have had many arguments/discussions/fights over her behavior and we find solutions together and then after about a week of him trying, he reverts back to not trying to correct her behavior.
I have now resorted to hiding in our bedroom when she is here because I want to tell her to knock it off but I can't because SO is the one to handle her.
I'm full of anger and anxiety right now and currently hiding.
How do I stop being so annoyed with her? Will this ever get better?
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Comments
Girlll im literally sitting
Girlll im literally sitting in my bedroom trying to get away from sd9! Why should we have to be confined to a room though? Shouldnt the dads parenting their kids? My husband has guilt for his daughter and never sees the light. She could do something in front of him and its like hendidnt see it and im crazy for saying anything. Disengage yes but its hard to fully disengage when you have full custody like we do. I want to disengage without ruining my marriage!!
I completely agree!!
I don't like the idea of having to be stuck in a room either. I want things to improve. I want her to have respect and manners and be pleasant to be around. My DS16 hides from her too. She has been very rude to him and has even asked when he is moving out. We both hide from her as much as possible. It creates an us versus them environment when SD9 is here. I hate it!
The dads should be parenting but they don't. Or they think that we are just nitpicking and hate their kids, which isn't true at all.
I agree wanting to disengage without creating bigger issues too!
9 is a tough age and i haven
9 is a tough age and i haven't solved this problem yet, either. A lot of the behaviors are deeply ingrained, both by the kids and the parents who trained them poorly, either out of weakness, ignorance, guilt, fear of the other parent, or some other need of the parent. And at 9, the kids aren't yet at an age where they hang out by themseves or with friends. They want their parent's constant attention. I don't have the answer but want to offer sympathy.
Don't cook when the little
Don't cook when the little cherub is there, let DH do it.
I actually had to ban my bios from the kitchen when I was cooking, because everytime I turned around they were standing in front of me. As adults, they are well trained now and never get in my way when I'm cooking. I wish DH wasn't such a slow learner though. He stepped in front of me for a hug when I was putting xmas dinner on the table. Idiot. I wanted to punch him. DD was like, "Um..you've known my mom over 10 years, what were you thinking?"
"No kids allowed in the kitchen when I'm cooking."