I don't share drinks with my own children. NASTY. I would never share a drink with someone else's kid, or even a partner. 

I'm a fairly blunt person, and mean no disrespect to you, but your SO sounds like a freakin jerk. I get that there is more to him than just time spent with his kid; however, his kid is a big part of his life, right?

Does he seriously expect you to follow his feral child's every whim every time he is around? It sounds as though he expects you to go along with letting his kid dictate your life. 

A bad parent is not the kind of partner I would want. Do you want children of your own? 

If he wants a partner to mother his child, then he needs to go back to his ex. And I'd be that blunt about it. I've told my DH that before, though it was in relation to him feeling the need to CONSTANTLY save BM financially.

If your SO gets mad because you won't play mommy, then you need to find a new partner. It's not okay to expect you to have responsibility without authority. If he wants you to parent, and you want to parent, then you two have to come up with rules and consequences together, and you have to have the autonomy and authority to act on those rules and consequences with his full backing. If he doesn't want to give you that level of authority, then you have no responsibility to his child and he deals with it all - including you choosing when you will and won't engage with the two of them.

When bio-free adults enter into a relationship with a bio parent, it's not our responsibility to make sure we change to fit the mold that the bio parent wants for their child. It's on the bio parent to find someone who matches the mold they have set in their brain. If that's difficult to find, then the BP either needs to remain single or change their expectations. However, it's never on us as SPs to be different than who we are because we aren't the ones with the responsibility to raise and care for another human being.

Stand up for yourself. When he expects you to do these things that you're not comfortable with, tell him explicitly that you're not comfortable. If he's mad for two days, offer to talk to him about it, but don't play into his over-the-top anger. He's being over-the-top either because he's trying to guilt you or he never learned how to control his emotions. Neither makes him a suitable candidate to date.

Where do people find these selfish men? Is there a website exclusively devoted to them?

I would never have lasted with DH if he got mad that I went to bed before him, or didn't want to engage in every activity that he wanted to do, without or without SS. If he pouted for 2 days because I wanted alone time, we'd have not lasted 6 months.

OP - stop catering to his childish ways and set some boundaries here. You aren't obligated to love or care for his kid, or stay up late to watch movies with them, or engage in any activities with them.  You are allowed to have your own needs and he should be encouraging you to take care of yourself.

He does not sound like "partner" material to me.

Your "partner" should remain single.

I think the passive agressive and petty anger would be enough to chase me out of that situation :(  I'm sorry you're going through it.  

Give him the name and number of a nanny company and the local pimp.  Both of his needs will be taken care of then.  

Throw this back on him and don't let it go until he confesses that he wants you to do it all and that was his motive all along.

Yes, I have gone through this.  In the past, I would play on the computer and DH got mad at me because he wanted me to sit next to him on the couch while he silently watched reruns on TV.  He held tightly to remote as if it were an extension of his man-parts, deciding what we would watch, abruptly changing channels at will .  He got mad if I worked on a quilt (to fight the boredom) while sitting next to him.  I was just supposed to sit there attentively while he ignored me.  Finally I told him he could get mad if he wanted to and went back to the computer.  He was left alone to deal with his unreasonable anger.  I just refused to be part of the game.  And that is what you are dealing with - a power game.

Now, if there is something I would like to watch on TV I will join him and he makes no complaints.

Your partner is being ridiculous.  Make a list up of his demands on one side of a paper and how you are going to address them on the other side.  If he objects to the way you propose to handle an item but can not propose a workable alternative, tell him there is no reasonable resolution for that item and scratch it off.  It will no longer be addressed by you or him.

When you approach the item of you going to bed early, write, "I will go to bed when I choose."  If he comes up with a reasonable solution you can live with, fine.  But if he insists you stay up just because he wants you to, write that on the other side of the paper.  Tell him his answer is infringing on your human rights, and will not work.  You will be going to bed when you choose, and this is a hill you will climb if necessary.  Not only will this list show your partner in writing how illogical he is, it might just show YOU how stifling this relationship is, you will want to leave this sorry ass and SS in the rear view mirror.

Eewww. Children are grubby little petrie dishes.

I don't share food, drink, make up etc with anyone. Why? Because I know better. Because my DH's teenage son died in a matter of hours from meningitis. He likely got it sharing drinks with other teens at a party. 

This man sounds like a controlling, petulant, and emotionally immature jerk. Surely you can do better than him.