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Disengaging with toddlers

Mommymode1985's picture
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What does disengaging with toddlers look like? I think this topic is very confusing to ppl new at it ... Thanks

Kee-khe's picture

Wow, poor babies. 

There's no need for you to be in this situation. And I agree, call CPS on your way out.

still learning's picture

OP sounds like a rescuer.  Gotta ride in on her white horse and make her mans life better. Take care of his kid and all his responsibilites while he's on the crapper.  Hope he panic bought a lot of toilet paper. What a man! 

Mommymode1985's picture

As I stated on the other post CPS is already involved but his ex on the methadone program so she can test dirty and she's "in treatment" so its alll gravy. Please don't anyone think I'd abuse or neglect a child. I care for them all the time bc i don't want them ignored but I'm just done. Im not their mother. 

Sparkl3s's picture

The only way you can force your boyfriend to parent his kids is to physically remove yourself and your kids from the house every time he brings the twins. Do you really want to marry someone like that tho? Is what you are getting out of this relationship worth it? 
 

I'm willing to bet your man is going to lose his shit at you for having to take care of his own kids. 

SteppedOut's picture

You should report to CPS she is still using, they can do further testing to prove she is using. 

Your boyfriend needs to change, major change, and take care of his kids. I'm sorry, but that kind of major change is not likely to happen. 

You have one of two choices. Accept these kids as yours and care for them or leave him.

I'm sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear. Honestly though, he does not sound like a good man...not at all. 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

This is very sad. Does your partner know how to interact with his kids (needs showing how to play with my little ponies/toy cars/etc with them, change activities when bored, and make a meal for them) or is he just not interested. 

Why do you stay when there is no discussion of even gradual change/improvement? 

If I need a mental few mins away from mine I sneak a two min cup of tea in whilst standing by the living door to supervise (so they know I am there). Then I go back in the room properly and join in again with their activity. 

Is there a nursery school they could go to one day a week whilst people including the CPS figure out what is best for these children. 

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship like that.... 

Mommymode1985's picture

He said yes to all my demands and I said I'm done sharing my room with them I'll be sleeping on the couch until he fixes it. He hates when i sleep away from him ... The real test will be when he gets them. He just asked me if it was ok he goes to get them. I told him to stop immediately (manipulation like come on) and whatever its his visitation. Go get them or not. Now we wait to see if he actually parents ...

SteppedOut's picture

I'm sorry, but there is no freaking way I could be with a man that knew the mother of his two year olds was actively using heroin and was not fighting to gain custody. 

Gross.

hereiam's picture

What does disengaging with toddlers look like?

Like your BF.

He said yes to your demands because he doesn't want to lose you and what you offer. You shouldn't have to make demands, he's their dad, for God's sake. He should be parenting them without any push from you. They are HIS kids.

He knows damn well that when he ignores them, you will take care of them.