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24 yr old SS wont work

Stunned's picture

Submitted by Stunned on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 2:46pm

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Adult Stepchildren

 My 24 yr old SS will not get a job or help around the house. Hes never left home or held a job in years. 
Wife says shes not ok with this , but she wont do anything about it. 
Whenever I bring up the topic, it turns into a fight or she defends SS completely. Wife is disabled , has major health issues and does not work. I am the only source of income. I once told her either he gets a job or I move out, she told me she would help me pack! 
I feel like Im being taken advantage of and want to leave, but if i leave she wont be able to survive.
 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 2:53pm

Well, you have to decide when you are ready to take action.

You can either leave on your own, or you can give your SS notice of eviction and then kick him out. Check your state laws on how much notice you have to give him, and then do it.

If you are the mortgage or lease-holder, then you have the right to evict him, but you do have to give him notice.

At that point, either your wife will go with him, or she will stay.  But you can't keep letting fear hold you hostage.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 5:48pm

Call her bluff - Leave. Seriously. Either she realizes she made an error, or you are free. a Win win for you. 

Lndsy747's picture

Submitted by Lndsy747 on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 5:55pm

Call her bluff. I'm pretty sure she'll cave but if not you're better off anyways. You shouldn't be more concerned about her health issues than she is. 

Mommyundearest's picture

Submitted by Mommyundearest on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 6:28pm

And,that truly sucks.Im sorry.Im a woman in the same scenario.22 year old stepson who wont get a job or leave or do anything productive unless Im riding his ass.I feel like a hostage.Im pissed off every day.

JSUK2020's picture

Submitted by JSUK2020 on Mon, 05/18/2020 - 6:46am

He's a lazy bum, leeching off his Dad. But I've told my husband I'm not paying for him etc.... 

What is it with some people these days? Why are some boys so soft! It makes me angry that useless piece of shit mooches off him. Oh but he can play world of warcraft for 12 hours but doesn't have the self respect to get a job.

I feel your pain, honestly. Keep me updated. Right now, I've taken to being passive. We are decorating and SS said he didn't like a colour that I did. So I painted it the colour I liked lol. Honestly when will they learn, you don't pay money you don't get an opinion on MY and MY HUSBANDS HOUSE. Lazy f**k

Too old for this's picture

Submitted by Too old for this on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 7:47pm

So give him a move out date.  Let her decide if she stays or if she goes.  Don’t leave your own house.

i had exactly the same issue with SD.  The straw that broke the camels back was when I pulled favors to get her a job interview and she didn’t turn up.  I put a note on her door (b/c she was out partying) and she was out the next day.

Stop this nonsense now.

Stunned's picture

Submitted by Stunned on Mon, 04/20/2020 - 1:44pm

Well, now its been a little over a year and nothing has changed. Im finding it hard to leave as my wife is disabled and cannot survive without me. This COVID thing means im stuck here for a while too. Its her home so I would have to be the one leaving and she will lose the house as well. Theres no calmly talking to her about SS, she gets so defensive and angry at me if I even mention SS name. I havent spoken to SS in the past year, even though we are in the same house. The sight of him disgusts me. I hate being trapped here and being responsible/blamed for everything.

My wife and I are just roommates at this point. We walk on eggshells around each other trying to be careful of every word we speak to each other. Theres nothing here for me. I am so sad about this, i know i have to leave but i will be ruining lives when i decide to finally go. Just needed to rant. thank you

 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 6:54am

So stop talking to her about it. Find out how to evict him and do it. Then change the locks.This leech has done enough damage to your marriage - how could things be worse?

jam's picture

Submitted by jam on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 6:24am

My advise would be listen to Rags.

Looks to me like you are being held hostage. Stop enabling you dw. Call her out on it and be prepared to leave. You are being used and abused. Stop it now!