Hello
Hi, I'm new here. Been looking for a place for some help. My wife and I have been married for 5 1/2 years. My step daughter is now almost 13. We have a very good relationship. I could not ask for a better wife. She's everything I ever wanted and a lot I didn't even know I wanted. Almost a year ago my wife was diagnosed with blood cancer. She's in treatment. The prognosis is not good. She has about another year to year and a half left with us. As you can imagine we are beyond devastated. How do I keep myself together and calm and act like I'm okay when I'm so far from that? I have to be strong for my wife, but most of all my little girl. She's very quite and keeps to herself. Does not talk much at all to me or her mom. She just lost her grandpa that was everything to her, and she barely flinched. But we both know she's dying inside. My sister, that I was closer to than anyone besides my wife, died a little over two years ago unexpectedly. I am seriouus when I tell you I could not have made it through that without that little girl. Now knowing I'm going to lose my whole world and feeling my life slowly crumble away, how do I stay strong and be there for the little girl that was there for me?
Thank you in advance.
WTH?!?!? Not in a million
WTH?!?!? Not in a million years!!! First of she is my daughter. Second, hea hasn't made an attempt to see her in two years. I would not give that little girl up for the world.
Wake up.
The law is on Bio dad side. If BF want her he will get her. You have no right at all to SD. You can no take any medical decisions for SD. You can not make any school decisions for SD. You will be lucky you are not arrefor kidnapped.
My kids BD was dead. And every time they went into the hospital , like for knee surgery. There was the talk of was I abusing her. Ect. Even through it was my insurance and I paying for it
The next year or so is going
The next year or so is going to be hard. You and you wife may want to consult a lawyer to see what should be done now and what is legally possible. Even if biodad were to willingly give you custody, it still has to be done legally.
If your wife is aware of her prognosis, she might consider finding a counselor to help all three of you through this. If her daughter is going to end up with biodad, she is going to need professional help to deal with both the loss of her mom and the move.
You and your wife
You and your wife need to see a family law attorney now to make plans. The bio father of the child may or may not want custody of her. Much may depend on the estate left to the child and who controls it. Don't fool yourself. There are legalities here that have nothing to do with feelings. Be prepared and have a legal plan in place. Good luck to you and wishing you strength!
So sorry for all you and your family are going through
But heed the advice above. See a lawyer to find out what recourse you have. It's an emotionally devastating time right now, but you have to have factual legal advice to guide you. We can't give you that.
Sorry for what you are going
Sorry for what you are going through.
Do consult an attorney, but it's not impossible that you could get custody of your SD, if she's 15 or so at the time and wants to be with you instead of her bio father, especially if he hasn't been around. But get your ducks in a row now.
So sorry your wife has cancer
So sorry your wife has cancer.
You seem like a nice guy. Your step daughters dad, unless the court has terminated his parental rights, has every right to have custody of his daughter.
Finding biological kin even during removal of a child via cps is always top priority of courts. .
IS bio dad unfit? Unfit has a very high bar.
A reality you must understand is many moms post breakup/divorce will claim dad is unfit, dad is a bad man, dad is this or that. There are always two sides to stories involving children named in custody cases.
Dads are often times erased on purpose by mothers.
Is there a child support order?
We dealt with this
We dealt with this possibility through our joint Will. In the event my DW predeceased me the Will granted me custody. Of course the courts would have in all liklihood favored the Spermidiot I would have honored my bride's wishes and fought it out in court. In the event of our joint demise everything goes into trust for our son until he either turns 40 or finishes his BS from an accredited institution whichever is first.
All designed to keep anything we have earned out of the hands of the SpermClan and used to prepare our son for hsi life and to handle the responsibility of financial independence. The trust is to be co-administered by either my dad or my brother.
Our son is now 28. He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen. I don't worry about the SpermClan taking advantage of him any longer. He is way too smart for that to happen. All he has to do now is outlive his mom. Not an easy thing considering she had him when she was 16. They should enjoy retirement together since I will be gone a decade or two before either of them.
That is what I want for both of them. My bride and I are having a great life together. Our son is kicking butt in his own life. We are proud of the man we have raised. When I am gone I hope that they can have time to enjoy security and each other for the last decade or so to balance the challenges they had as a single teen mom and oowl baby.
I will have fun haunting them!