Stressed out stepmom
I've been a stepmother for 26 years , it was not to bad in the beginning the oldest was 4 and the youngest was 2 , the BM was always away so she would drop them off constantly to work on the road . I hated it . my husband was also leaving to work, and I was an atomatic mom 3 , my bd and now two other girls, and was pregnant with our baby . The little one had abandonment issues and Hated me as she got older , the other just couldn't careless and also was missing her mother .as they got older they wouldn't help or be part of the house hold chors , and be rude to me and tell their mother I was not nice to them . Their dad wouldn't support my needs for them to help out and wanted to always be the good guy , so I in turn was the evil stepmom. . The bm would leave the girls with my husband before I was In the picture so the issues where there .already . the mother had no regard for my family and would not agree to have the kids longer then week to week . It was hell on everyone involved. The kids never got to be in one place for long and me and my husband and our new family never really got out time . I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind . Now they are all grown , and because of covid and lose of work the oldest daughter has moved in with us with her 2 kids and her husband . I can't stand to be in the room with them they are condisending , they are always in my kitchen , they never make a meal don't share their food, but will eat everything . I feel like I'm totally alienated and uncomfortable in my own home . I don't know what to do. I'm trying to be better and get along . It just make me feel anxiety and I've had headaches . I'm going crazy. I feel really bad about this and how I feel but I don't know how to move on . Am I wrong. What can I do to be better . ?
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Get a lobotomy lol. Or drink.
Get a lobotomy lol. Or drink. Or change the situation. Talk to your husband about a plan for them to become independent with a launch date so you have a light at the end of the tunnel. Talk to him about behaviors of theirs that bother you and see if he will address them. Address them yourself if it's bad enough. Are they doing anything in exchange for living there? If they can't pay maybe they can do some chores to lighten your load? That's all i've got. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
Lol thank you , yea I love
Lol thank you , yea I love that lol . Lobotomy haha . Yea I'm working on ideas I may make a small kitchen in my bedroom hahaha!
Hopefully they can be out
Hopefully they can be out soon!
Well this doesn't give me
Well this doesn't give me much hope about my SD12 improving at all as she gets older. Your 20 something stepkids act like my SD12. She comes to our house and goes on a search for junk food like she is a truffle pig. She even digs around in the depths of the freezer to find ice cream. She bitched at my DH today that we had oreos but he didn't tell her and they were hidden. They were under some bananas so she didn't think to look there!
Is there any plan in place for them to move out? You can get really good deals on rentals right now, it's a good time to move and get a cheap contract. You need to make a plan to get them out. Stop buying so many groceries, have them contribute rent or food or something. People stay when it's comfortable, make it less comfortable for them to stay with you!
Sorry to hear that...
26 years is a long time... You are strong for enduring for that long...
I think you are dealing with basici human nature. As they get older they reflect more and more how it is to really be human. They probably feel and think about you the same way you feel and think about them...
Its hard being human and dealing with our fellow beings. Some people say that having your own biological kids are different and it may be but some people dont even get along with their own kids..
I do know, being able to be alone does help and being around friends and supportive people. Can you get away for a while? Somewhere you can go? Create a schedule for yourself?
Sorry to hear that...
26 years is a long time... You are strong for enduring for that long...
I think you are dealing with basici human nature. As they get older they reflect more and more how it is to really be human. They probably feel and think about you the same way you feel and think about them...
Its hard being human and dealing with our fellow beings. Some people say that having your own biological kids are different and it may be but some people dont even get along with their own kids..
I do know, being able to be alone does help and being around friends and supportive people. Can you get away for a while? Somewhere you can go? Create a schedule for yourself?
What is the plan for them to
What is the plan for them to move out? Neither of them can find jobs?
I don't know how you put up with this for 26 years, but given that you have allowed them to treat you poorly for so long, it's going to be hard to make them change now, especially since your husband doesn't support you.
Yep that’s the way it seems