She is refusing having SS evaluated for autism
My husband was diagnosed with autism last month. SS exhibits literally every sign of having it. SS had also said he feels different, he thinks he has "adhd or something" and wants to get tested. He told us both this and also said he asked his mom but she said "you are too smart to have anything like that"
So, DH told her he feels he has to be evaluated, gave his assessment of SS and told her he would like to have him evaluated.
BM said "SS is happy and engaged with me, he's a wonderful young man and I don't agree with your assessment and if he's acting different with you, that is the real issue we should be addressing"
She literally doesn't care about these kids. All they are to her are pawns to try and make DH look bad anyway she can. Insane.
Yep.
We have dealt with this with HCBM for years. If it's something she wants, she does it ASAP, regardless of DH's wishes, but if it's actually needed or DH thinks it should happen, she refuses and/or sandbags, and she's the Mom, so what she thinks is most important.
It's infuriating.
If your DH has legal cstody, he doesn't need her consent to have him tested, as long as he has legal custody. He can request an assessment through school or a referral from the doctor.
They have joint legal.
They have joint legal.
If kiddo is school aged
Either parent (or even stepparents, depending on the district) can ask for an evaluation for an IEP and assessement for autism. He would likely need to talk to an assistant principal or a guidance counselor. Some schools even have social workers that could help.
Alternatively, DH can tak him into primary care and request a referral. As a joint legal custodian, that's his right.
According to BM he has zero
According to BM he has zero rights even though they have joint custody. If DH doesn't want the kids doing something? She does it anyway. If DH wants the kids to do something it's a no and end of story. There's nothing we can do about it either. The courts don't care.
Drag her ass back to court
Drag her ass back to court for an ass beating in front of a Judge. Lather, rinse, repeat until she gains clarity.
DH can do as he chooses with his child on his time.
Just to warn you, any kind of
Just to warn you, any kind of disability can be used to get a child on SSI and lifetime CS. Satan deliberately tried to sabotage Killjoy's mental health and schooling for this purpose.
This is a fair point
And any of these diagnoses can affect the kid's ability to do things in the future, like serve in the military or other jobs with specific regulations.
He can function just like
He can function just like anyone else. His mind just works a bit differently then neurotypical people. There's nothing he would need to get in disability for it have a caretaker for or anything else.
What is the goal in having
What is the goal in having him evaluated? Around here, anyone can diagnose autism, but in order to get any official services, they need to have a psychologist administer a test called the ADOS, and in our community, you might wait a year to be able to have that done (especially with COVID).
You are better off addressing whatever academic, behavioral and emotional concerns you guys and he have, rather than asking for an evaluation for a specific diagnosis.
In other words, "SS is having emotional outbursts and struggling with social skills (or whatever), we'd like to have him evaluated by a therapist" is better than "we think he has Autism."
Either way, she can deny and obstruct, but it makes it more clear that he actually has some issues that he's struggling with, not that you guys want him to have a specific diagnosis (especially since your DH just got that same diagnosis).
DH did have a psychological
DH did have a psychological evaluation. SS said he "feels different" and he gets really down on himself if he makes a mistake. He has expressed this to both DH and her and he has even talked to me about if. She says he's "thriving" and he's "wonderful" and his old therapist from 5 years ago said he doesn't need to be labeled so that's her rational. The reason to get him tested is for his own awareness, his own self esteem and to be able to understand why his mind works the way it does. She's acting like he's perfect and he is thriving in academics and socially (he has so socially awkward it's literally ridiculous. He's 15 and has no interest in girls of anything that is common for his age. You know what he talks about 24/7? BEES! Yea that's right. Because most 15 year old boys are incredibly interested in need hives and being a bee keeper. He even walks around in bee keeping pants. But she thinks this is typical for his age? He can't look anyone in the eye, he is sooooo sensitive to noise and textures, he has hit issues, he walks in his tippy toes, he is sucism awkward, he does not have a normal conversation, he has tics.
She sees none of this and thinks this only happens at our house? She's literally an idiot!!
To be honest, this is not a
To be honest, this is not a hill to die on. She will sabotage any efforts DH makes to get him evaluated or get him therapy. Many of these BMs do not want to be in therapy for their kids because they know they will be called on their parenting, and they also prefer the picture of the "perfect mom" and the "perfect kid". Yes, DH could do it on his own, but she will make a giant stink about that and make your lives hell, why invite that? He will be 18 in 3 years - he can do it on his own then and she can't officially stop it.
If DH goes on his own and does it, he's inviting the court to give her sole custody because that will be spun as him cutting HER out.
Agreed, DH would just like to
Agreed, DH would just like to help him. He definitely will not go and do it without her agreement. If she doesn't agree, she doesn't agree.
he walks in his tippy toes
My OS did this too. It can be a result of short heel cords. Sometimes it can be helped by specific stretching exercises. OS started these at about five. You have to continue them as the child grows. OS got a good result from the exercises. If the exercises didn't work, he would have had to have surgery.
Yeah it could be something
Yeah it could be something else but constantly walking on your tippy toes isn't normal. Many kids with autism do this. That alone doesn't indicate he has it but that along with all the other things as well as a father with an official diagnosis?? Well.
Shopping for the syndrome of
Shopping for the syndrome of the moment being pimped by the pseudo science crowd is useless if it is used to justify crappy parenting or ill behaved children and not to drive a behavioral solution.
IMHO of course.