My closest sibing (in age and in general) died suddenly in his job of a heart attack on 7/8. This has affected me greatly, I was the first one at his side after he was pronounced dead and I have had to bear the brunt of the financial responsibility of burying him (I am the first and only one in my immediate family with a college degree). 

I would have expected compassion from my stepsons during this time. Except what I actually got was, SS21 saying that he's been going through a lot of personal things (which is why he couldn't be around, at the wake, or at the burial). SS16 also decided to store all of my brother's stuff in the basement into my storage room without my consent because without communicating with me, he is attempting (and probably has) made the basement his room. 

Last week, DH had the foolish idea to provoke me saying "I can't wait to hit the road!" (remember he's having a midlife crisis and going to become a truck driver which I ALMOST fully support). Then he goes on to say that he wishes I could just smile a little more. 

I am going through a lot with the loss of my brother. Out of the 5 children my mother bore, he was everyone's favorite, including mine. My brother is the first person I have lost who was close to me, and it seems like my go to emotion is anger. So I got angry and told SO that his lifestyle doesn't give me much to smile about and that in fact, I am very apprehensive about him leaving because SS21 and SS16 already don't do the right thing, even though he is around. This statement sparked a huge argument. The next day, DH admitted he was saying that to be provocative because he cannot take that I am not cheerful, happy and planning events for the kids like I always do. 

Needless to say I got a text from SS16's school, because he is in summer school as usual yesterday. After I got home, he peeked into my room to say hello and I confronted him about missing school. I shared with him that his father and I got into a huge argument last week over the fact that I am apprehensive about staying with him while his father is gone because his theme is making excuses for missing school. He began to sass me and tell me that we only ever notice when he does something wrong and that he had a "fluke". I told him that I am going through a depression at this time and with his father leaving, I do not want to have to deal with someone who cannot contribute in the way that he is expected to. He then said " Kick me out then!". I kicked him out of my room. 

I spoke to DH, he doesn't care. He is bent on going away to drive trucks interstate. His classes start next week and his road test is mid August. He hopes to leave to train with a friend of his mid September. I have enough on my plate than to deal with his kid. Plus, I hardly think it's fair that both is mother and father bail on him and I'm stuck with a kid who feels entitled to what he has (which is mostly because I provide it). Instead of being sorry or admitting he was wrong, SS16 gets defensive and argumentative. I do not have the energy for it. I just want to grieve my brother in peace. 

Is it wrong of me to ask SS21 or ask SS21 to ask his mom to take in SS16? Again, I do not want to have to deal with a kid who is gonig to make my life harder than what it is, while his dad gets to go trucking and his mom is somewhere out there missing. Ican't and I won't.