You are here

Filed.

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Wed, 09/29/2021 - 8:25pm

Update to previous blog here:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/stbx-update-270954

Filed today. 5.5 years married. STBXH moves to his new apt tomorrow, unclear when his crying, begging, blaming, and "I just don't understand!" will end. It's exhausting.

Tough day, but bright future not living with conflict & financial insanity. Whatever the co$t is, it's the price of freedom. 

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous blog. I appreciate you more than I can express. 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 09/29/2021 - 8:29pm

Guessing he hopes his exhausting drama will wear you down and you'll take him back. When will it end? Possibly when he realizes you are DONE.

Freedom, mental/physical health: it's worth the price. Brighter days ahead of you, darlin'. Coming soon! {{{HUGS}}}

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Wed, 09/29/2021 - 10:02pm

You're right, peace is priceless.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 5:20am

This part is exhausting. I don't know where these a-holes get their energy from. It took my XH a good 6 months before he stopped the groveling, begging, threatening, yelling, crying, etc behavior.

But, the peace and freedom at the end is worth the temporary discomfort. Just knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel is refreshing.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 5:50am

"I just don't understand". Lol. Goes to show he hasn't listened to a word you've said.  The bulk of it starts tomorrow when he moves out and you block him from contacting you. 

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 8:43am

"I just don't understand" = I just don't understand why you won't fall for my bull shit some more and get back in line so I can continue to use/abuse

Crying = maybe she will feel bad and I can reel her back in .  I'm not really upset..just upset she won't fall back in line so I can continue to use/abuse

Begging = just another way to suck you back in .

Next up....the threatening....I will do x, y, z...so you better just do what I say...drop the divorce and continue the status quo so I can continue to use/abuse.

 

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:02am

Sadly, you are correct. Started a few days ago, actually. 

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:04am

Hoping today is low-drama during move-out while I WFH.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:06am

Can you have a friend there to keep you company (and to serve as a witness, just in case)? 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:07am

Can you take time-stamped photos of your belongings just in case he decides to trash as much as possible on his way out?

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:28am

Your ex will most go between being "heartbroken" to "raging"....they cycle through behaviors they think will get you back in the drama/abuse circle.

Be prepared for him to argue..."Its HISSSSSSS" and decide what you can let go of just to get him out.

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:47am

All my friends have jobs! I did take photos. We have our fur-baby to stay united on & that's helpful; had to take him to the vet yesterday (hard day!) but he's okay. 

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 9:48am

I'll check back in later today with an update.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 10:07am

Now he has a big job ahead of him to find someone else to use/abuse.   It's gets harder as he gets older 

queensway's picture

Submitted by queensway on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 11:37am

You will be fine because you made the right decision for yourself. The hard part is making the decision. From this day forward just go one day at a time. You got this!

Smile

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 4:48pm

STBXH just left with 2nd load, coming back tomorrow for the rest, so for today I'm HOME FREE!

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 5:01pm

You're nearly done!  Hang in there!

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Thu, 09/30/2021 - 5:17pm

All the begging, crying, love bombing from my ex was just exhausting. By the time I decided to leave that relationship I was DONE and there was nothing he could do to change that. All that energy at the end made no sense. D-O-N-E.

Eventually he'll find another target.

Yay for you!