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One thing most of these divorced single parents have in common

seriouslyfreda's picture

They are all broke and looking for someone to help them out. And I don't care how good looking and great they think they are, if they ain't broke (and believe me most of them are) they need a free sitter/nanny while they are out playing around.

seriouslyfreda's picture

And most of them mistreated their exes too. I don't know how many times I hear on here the ex is the problem. Chances are there are two sides to that story too. Good luck ladies!  These guys are trash and have nothing to offer you. Many mistreat woman too and most of them are broke. Looks only last so long. 

numb87's picture

This is sooo true! 

ESMOD's picture

Actually I think we much more commonly hear the advice that the SM's partner is the problem.. not the ex.  Sure there are some particularly heinous EXes on these stories... but in most cases, it's the  way our spouses handle their kids and EX that cause the real issue.

tog redux's picture

Sounds like you got burned - but not all divorced men are cut from the same cloth. It does pay to heed red flags and be cautious, though. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Money stopped being an issue for DH as soon as he got the separation. CS and Alimony were way cheaper than the financial damage his ex did while they were married. 

 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, my DH wasn't really too broke - but he never paid anything above what he was ordered to pay, unlike some of these men. 

ESMOD's picture

When marriages break up, usually the joint finances take a hit when splitting things up.whether there are kids involved or not.

I would say that "everyone" is looking for a PARTNER  and that kind of means helping each other...  I do think that a lot of MEN are more fish out of water when it comes to raising the kids directly.. and some are looking for a partner that is interested in being in a relationship with them and their kids.. which might mean helping.

I am not sure how big your personal sample size has been... but not everyone is a user.  Sure there are some crappy parents.. some crappy people in general.  When you dip into the divorce pool.. there is always a chance that your getting someone that played some part in the breakup... and when you dip into the parent pool for dating.. you get kids that come along with that.  I don't necessarily mean you could predict the full spectrum of things but the fact that the kid exists and will be part of your life should be pretty basic.  ( i didn't say responsibility of course)

Someoneelse's picture

I know my dh is off of the problems when it comes to his daughter, but BM is the BIGGER issue. 

DH allows sd to get away with a lot, but he hasn't always. BM has always given sd an out for all her actions.  DH would punish sd (take away phone/ ground from TV/ ground her from video games), but as soon as she gets home to BM's (after 2 days of punishment), BM would pity sd, take her side, tell her how wrong DH was for not taking her side, how she couldn't believe how we were treating her.  

Then after years of this BM would tell DH how he's a detriment to sd's mental health and how she's always so depressed after leaving or home... 

So after all this DH has literally given up on sd (which i do not condone), which now means sd faces ZERO consequences EVER for any of her actions.

Elea's picture

While married, SAH BM threw the kids at my now DH the moment he walked in the door from work with a "you're on." He helped with homework, made dinner, put the kids to bed etc. and took care of the kids on weekends. She needed her "alone time" and treated DH like the dog of the family while she and Las Diablas were supreme. Even after they divorced (while Las Diablas were tweens) he did the lion share of work related to parenting. When I came into the picture DH was just happy that I actually cooked dinner for everyone. He handled Las Diablas. The OSD would literally bark orders at him just like BM. "Dad, make me a sandwich! Dad, I told you I hate cold sandwiches, I like hot sandwiches. Diablo <stomping foot> I want it grilled!!!" I would have lost my ever loving sh*t but he somehow stays calm AND he slowly learned to call them out on their god-awful behavior and no longer tolerates what he used to. He did ok for himself financially as well. BM finally had to get an entry level job. Lol She got fired and is now on her 3rd entry level job. 

Someoneelse's picture

I mean if I was home all day with the kids, that's a CRAZY full time job, and it's completely thankless... yea, DH BETTER help with the kids when he gets home!!! I mean you're a chef, a waitess, a chauffer, a nanny, a nurse, a maid, a therapist ALL DAY LONG, yes you don't get paid for it, YES you are their parent, but it's STILL a job, so when the second parent comes home, he gets to play a part in raising his kids... my dad had the same philosophy that you do, mom is the ONLY parent and when daddy helps with kids, he's being a babysitter... he even told my mom one day that he'll babysit the kids so that she can go to the grocery store... baby sit your own kids? yea no, you're a parent and need to parent your kids... SAHM do it all day long, when you get home it is YOUR turn to get in on it too

Elea's picture

The kids were in preschool/school, so nope, she was not home with the kids all day. She did drive them to school. Whoop tee do 

justmakingthebest's picture

100% agree. I stayed at home for a total of 4 years when my kids were little. I don't think I ever did the "Your turn!" crap. I get very frustrated knowing that my SIL does that to my brother. There is a big difference of having a hard day with the kids and saying "Are you ok with me going to take a shower?" and getting 30-45 min of peace and a chance to reset, vs. "You deal with them now!" 

Elea's picture

I have been in both roles and both were a lot of work. A strong partnership is key.One thing I know for sure is that when I was a SAHM I didn't throw my kids at my husband the moment he walked in the door, not because I gave him deference as a man but because I actually LIKE taking care of my own children. I love being a mom to my babies. 

Elea's picture

I have been in both roles and both were a lot of work. A strong partnership is key.One thing I know for sure is that when I was a SAHM I didn't throw my kids at my husband the moment he walked in the door, not because I gave him deference as a man but because I actually LIKE taking care of my own children. I love being a mom to my babies.