Now the CP
Hi all! Though I read daily, I rarely log in because I have nothing to post about. That's about to change.
I haven't posted in months because I disengaged from SS issues (while contours have a relationship with him. It's not his fault his parents are idiots). DH and I got into a huge argument concerning parenting SS (I'm only a parent when it's convenient for DH. Any other time I'm supposed to shut up and take care of his kid). Needless to say, I dropped all the way back! No helping with transportation, no helping with school, nothing. He quickly realized everything I do and apologized, but I still stayed in my own lane.
Well a few weeks ago, we finally went to court and were able to get custody switched. It was indeed a Christmas miracle in January. Things have been ok. The change didn't take effect until this month to prepare SS and the school.
I think we were able to obtain a change because SS is literally failing every subject (PE included) and has for the last 2 academic years before this one. The judge couldn't find a way to justify keeping him over there and trust me he tried. BM shed crocodile tears and lied through her teeth, but alas it wasn't enough.
im excited because I know it will be better for SS but I'm also nervous about how things will change. He's always been a (mostly) good boy but it's easy to be nice for 2 days. Plus I'm sure we will be being watched like a hawk.
anyone have any advice on transitioning from NCP to CP?
- Kamore's blog
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Comments
We went through a switch but
We went through a switch but it was unplanned. I would just say be prepared for some backlash and acting out. Even if it's good for him it's stressful for kids to have a court change their life. There will probably be some resistance, especially if BM had very different house rules. Just go slow, stay alert, and be prepared for some turbulence as everyone adjusts. It might be much better in the long run but it takes awhile to find a new balance. Wishing you the best
Thank you for that. The two
Thank you for that. The two homes are very different t, but we've always been consistent so hopefully that carries over! Im prepared for the gentío. This may cause but hopefully nothing too strenuous will happen.
WOW
First off all, I'm AMAZED that the judge viewed academic failure as criteria for a custody switch. Maybe judges are finally waking up from their 'BM is always the better parent" coma!
In my case ALL THREE skids were failing from K-12 but because the county is so small and the BM is influential, they just kept labeling the skids "learning disabled--other" and passing them despite truancy. Judges couldn't care less.
Don't be shocked when SS wants to go running back to the house with no rules. Is there any CS involved? If so, the BM should start paying.
Wooow that's crazy! Luckily
Wooow that's crazy! Luckily we live in a bigger city and it helps that BMs other baby daddy is also taken her to court for custody. We were able to establish a history of lies and not doing what's best for Ss on top of the academic issues.
the judge really did try and find a way to keep him there. He kept asking questions to change things but couldn't get satisfactory answers. I could see the gears turning trying to discredit DH.
we also had a lawyer this time so I think that helped. Best 5 grand I've spent in a long time
We became CPs, too
We became CPs, too, altho it was by agreement with BM, it freed her up. The 3 SKs moved in, one at a time, over a one year period. I know our situation was different from yours but I wanted to give you an optimistic take on it. Even with 5 kids in the house, things calmed down once tbey came. I think the back and forth, alone, had been stressful on everyone. It was also tough on the SKs watching BM's volatile relationship with her BF. SD often wanted to be back with her mom, she was rebellious and didn't want to follow our "program". Each time she tried, it didn't last long and she would be back. OSS always seemed fine living here but YSS asked her if he could move back during his teen years, but she refused.
These situations are tough on everyone but it worked out here. Good luck.
Best advice I can offer is
Best advice I can offer is don't get sucked into the mentality that you are required to help raise the kid. Your DH got custody of HIS child and now he needs to step up and parent HIS child.