I will try to be brief and forgive Mis-spellings as I am on my phone.

Been married 10 years to DH.  He has three DS's from prior marriage...ages 25 20 and 16.   After I came Into the picture and we got Married BM and her SO started PAS bad.  Older two were PASd out by the time they were 14.   Youngest still comes over but I'm starting to see signs of PAS.

OSS was never confrontational with DH but just ghosted him years ago.  No contact for at least 6-7 years.   MSS was the mean one who really tore DHs heart out with all the mean nasty vile comments.   Over the past year MSS an DH have tried to work on things but MSS will come back with nasty treatment out of no where and they end up not speaking again.   And YSS has been starting to follow in their footsteps.  Ghosting DH and then finally being confrontational.

Through it all I have kept completely silent.  I never spoke a bad word to any of the SS's despite my fury at them.   I was constantly being the blame for all Things wrong with the world.   Examples...I didn't make them breakfast (when they were teens and slept till noon), I didnt buy them things like a real parent (despite me being sole provider for my own child) , I didn't buy their favorite snacks...

I will admit I wasn't always perfect.  I would t push them to talk to me when they would ignore me in my own home.  They would walk out of any room I walked into, etc.

Early on it caused a lot of drama between DH and I.  BM expected me to be her nanny (I work from home) and to be available anytime she wanted to drop them off.  I put my foot down and said no once she took advantage.  DH didn't take my side and would try to keep the peace with BM.  I held firm.  
Eventually the Older two SSs stopped coming and our marriage and lives because so much better.  No more fighting or tension.  Our marriage is now amazing.

This morning my DH tells me that OSS reached out and wants to talk.   I will admit my blood pressure went sky high and I started to have a panic attack.  The thought of him coming back into our lives just causes me immediate anxiety. I swear I have PTSD from the years of crap I dealt with.   
 

Im so worried he is only coming back to tell off DH for whatever made up bullcrap is in his head from the years is PAS.   And I am sure somehow I will be blamed as well.   MSS did this about a month ago and I am so worried OSS is. Is taking his turn.   Mainly because I feel BM and her SO are really working hard to PAS YSS so they are getting the older two in on it as backup. 
 

Am I over reacting?  Is it possible OSS has come around after all these years?   My gut is telling me to hold on for crap.  And I honestly don't think my marriage will survive if they come back into our lives.   I can't live like that anymore and refuse to be unhappy to pacify grown adult children.  
 

Am I over reacting????  PTSD is a real in Stephell!