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Skid has finally shown his true colors. Low key disengaging

Kamore's picture

Submitted by Kamore on Mon, 04/04/2022 - 9:06pm

So skid is finally showing up. SS has always been childish, but I've always felt there a more sneaky side to him. I've found it over the last couple of weeks. SS did some crazy stuff at school right before spring break obviously spent his break geounded. I'm the one home with the children when they are out )generally I'm on break at the same time) so of course it's been up to me to make sure his punishment stands. today I left him home alone while I went to pick up my child, and I come back and some of my favorite snack is missing. I don't say anything, we'll come to find out he had his phone while I was gone too then lied to my face about it. He's also been doing stuff I've specifically asked him not to like right after I said it. It's getting old 
 

now one thing I hate is a lie. Like I cannot stand liars. And he's showing himself to be one. I told him don't ask me for anything and anytime I leave the house, he's gonna have to as well. Dang shame I can't enjoy my break from school because I have to babysit him! UGH! 

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Kamore's picture

Submitted by Kamore on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 3:48pm

Tried that. He ended up getting sent home when he brought him. I guess it's a hazard or something! 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 7:55am

How old is he? 

I am also curious about what he did to wind up grounded? Is this a sign of bigger things to come from him?

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 8:24am

Yeah.. I think age would be relevant.  Also... I don't see having some of the snack item as an outright lie if he wasn't asked about it (which it seems you didn't do?).  and I'm not sure what your household's rules are for snacks.. he was home alone.. and got hungry.. what was he supposed to do and how would he have necessarily known that snack was off limits?

I think sneaking his phone would also not be totally out of character for a lot of kids.  I used to sneak reading a book under the covers with a flashlight.. If you have proof he was using it.. then he gets a punishment.. maybe the phone is confiscated (though you can't leave a kid at home with no way to communicate in an emergency).. 

But.. if he is being difficult and won't listen to you.. perhaps his dad needs to take him to work as others have suggested.

Kamore's picture

Submitted by Kamore on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 3:53pm

Ok. Didn't do a good job of explaining. SS is 13. He was caught kissing and touching in the hallways. Guess they didn't realize the cameras actually work. He got his phone taken because of that. He is grounded and isn't supposed to be on his phone at all. 
 

we have a house phone so he wasn't left without a way to communicate. 
 

As far as the snack goes, there are plenty of snacks in the house of his choosing in the kitchen that he can eat.  This particular snack is in my room and is just for me. He knows this. To get it he had to come in my room and dig through my drawers to find it. That is not ok. 
 

BTW I'm with you on the sneaking to read a book thing!!!! However this was a blatant attempt to get around his punishment if not having his cell. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 11:22am

This could just be what happened recently and is on the OP's mind, but honsetly it all sounds like pretty typical teenager stuff. 

Kamore's picture

Submitted by Kamore on Tue, 04/05/2022 - 3:59pm

So am I overreacting? I only have a biological toddler, so I don't have "parenting a teen" experience. 
 

If this is normal teen stuff, how does it translate to being the "parent" that he's with most of the time? DH works a lot,  while a am is now out living her best life. Quite honestly, waiting on my husband to "punish" for even normal teen stuff is like waiting to be able to breathe underwater. However I will NOT tolerate anybody's disrespectful child/teen/adult. 
 

le sigh 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 04/06/2022 - 6:07am

Yeah, making out with a girl in the hallway at 13 and getting busted... pretty normal. I know I was caught around that age too, that's when we found out that the fire stairwells didn't have cameras in all the angles! LOL Where there are hormones there is a way! 

Sneaking snacks... We all have a basket in our pantry that is OURS. No one is allowed to touch our private stash, If you want something in someone else's basket- ask them or ask me and I will get it for you next time I go to the store (which with 3 teens is like every other day!). 

Lying to be on a phone- ALL kids do that. Hell, don't you remember as a kid being grounded from the phone. We had land lines but as soon as mom and dad pulled out of the driveway you were on it and talking and watching the driveway! Once my dad came in from the other direction than normal and pulled up beside our house and came in the back door just to bust me. Parents... They aren't as dumb as kids think! LOL

What do you do about it? Snacks- Try my basket idea, it has worked out really well for us. Grounding from the phone- just don't bother. Come up with another punishment, yard work is great this time of year. Making out with a girl- Condoms. Lot's and lot's of condoms! Safe sex talks all the time, like make it dinner conversation. But don't punish for it, they will only sneak around!