Add to the mix above the hundreds of years of history, folklore and popular media about the wicked stepmother, in particular. 

Imagine if we had all grown up on stories of stepmothers who were positive role models, who came in and helped a struggling child/family with her love, attention and resources.  Can you even think of one story like that?  Of course not.  But there are hundreds of thousands of women in real life who have done just that over the centuries but their story has never been told. 

Steptalk is at least one place where there is some balance in the tales. 

Unfortunately, there are plenty of people and situations that perpetuate the stereotypes.

people have affairs... move on and expect everyone to accept the addition of the "other woman" often going on to have a new child or whole family with them.  shoot..right on up to the british monarchy.  Honestly, I am not sure I would have the stomach to really accept the person who was cheating on my mother if they knew that they were with a married person. 

Kids of divorce DO have it tougher in many ways.. and while I don't agree that everyone gets a total pass because something sucky happened to them..,, it's a very complicated situation.

And... yes... it's hard on the new SP too but while not saying exactly "you knew what you were getting into".. to an extent..they are adults with free will and they are choosing to stay with a partner ... and often blaze right pass glaring red flags and speed bumps because they "want what they want".. go on to have kids with guys that are crap fathers... then look around and wonder what the hell did I do!

And.. on this site... you rarely have the perfect step situation... and many step situations are much less contentious... I arrived here over a frustrating situation and while my DH's EX was a bitter pill... and his kids were ... kids.. and had a few issues.. overall, I have not had the worst situation... and both my SD's have grown into nice independent women who have relationships with both their father, mother.. and have one with me... would the relationship transcend my marriage to their father?  in YSD's case.. probably.. in OSD... likely not... I am closer to the younger one.  But... I'm not going to yell out to "not do it" to ever person... but probably would to more newbies on this site because these are mostly (women) who are getting themselves into crap situations... either their SO is a poor partner and father.. or the prospective SP is ill suited and doesn't have the kind of attitude and nature to be in SP land without it becoming toxic for them and everyone around them.  There are certain relationships that come with too much downside to make them good choices.

But.. we do hear too much "love them like your own" which is stupid.. they aren't yours... you treat them as they need to be treated in my opinion... that may be more loving.. or may be more hands off.. depends.  and kids come first... which is confused with kids are a parent's first responsibility... but every person in a family may have needs that are a priority.. or wants that are a priority.  But, this part is a fallout of the more child centric family dynamic that I see even in In Tact families.. my brother and wife have crafted their lives around their child... not really so much vice versa.  My DH and I planned our lives and trips.. and the kids fell in line accordingly.. and sometimes the kids missed a practice.. or he missed one of their events.. but we made the decisions.. not the kids.

But.. again.. look at the royal family.... there is Camilla... the other woman.. and Charles who cheated on their mother.. it's fairly clear that William.. who has much to lose and more to personally gain by toeing the line as he will be king puts on a fairly good face.. but Harry.. who doesn't have that golden carrot dangling clearly carries more bitterness.. and it's not just about the whole Meghan thing.. I think for him.. the scars are deeper.. and yep.. they are both COD's..lol.

In the end.. sometimes we just need to make peace with the decisions we make... and allow people to have their own opinions.. even if they differ.. and it's sad when family members are estranged.. but in the end.. we all make choices that have consequences.. some good.. some bad. 

Had a great winter vacation. Out of the country. There was a steep tobaggan ride and the old me would have said no way. I climbed all the way up with DH.  Somewhat fearful. Did get on and when I finally opened my eyes I loved it!! Only wish I had filmed it. 
my DH now wants me to ski. THAT I draw the line. Too much energy and coordination.