My Mom is my SS-30's grand mother. PERIOD DOT!

Even if my DW were to try what your POS SD is doing, my DW would not do that, my SS would tell her that it was not happening.

Yes, my SS is an adult.  Your GSKid is 10yo.  I get the difference.

HOwever, my question is, why is your DH not ripping his shit daughter a new asshole for this crap?

He should be.

smh

If my DH was not fully supporting me by standing up to his daughter on this, I most certainly would not be traveling 5 hours with him to sit at a hotel while he played doting grandpa to his mini-wife's child. 

You have disengaged from her.. that will extend to her child.  It is not your grandchild.. it is her child.. and your partner's grandchild.  I can't imagine that we would expect to be allowed to be around a child when we have passed some judgement on their parents.. It is just fallout of the estrangement.. I would support your DH.. to the extent you want to.. and just enjoy your life with him... if he starts spending too much time away due to his relationship.. then you will need to discuss that with him.. but otherwise.. I would stay mute regarding anything about his daughter.. just let him have that relationship separate from you

I've come to terms with it all but it has sure affected my DH negatively.

I was "shunned" from being a step grand....it was just a continuation of the rejection and shunning I got from DHs kids for over 12 years. Done at a public event with many friends present. It was humiliating. One guest made it known she was stunned and shocked. I'd have handled the "rejection" better had  the "news" been delivered in a setting that did not have me present. But DHs son knew what he was doing so there's that.

My DH now goes to see his kids/grands alone. His travel includes two flights. I have not and WILL not go with him. He's had multiple issues on the last 3 trips but not my problem. What I do know is his kids with even use their babies as weapons so I do not even attempt to get close. DH is in charge of everything a grandparent would do for his/her grandchild. I don't even offer advice. And if the time comes he wants to babysit, that's fully on him. I'm going to have plans made. 

Two points: As a SM, it's best to never "offer" correctioon or disdain about a SKs behaviors, regardless of age. It's really none of our business. They have two bio parents to take care of that. Iit will only make your SD even more devisive (as you have learned). And just as SKs are never really our kids, neither are the grandkids. It's beautiful when you see a blend where step grands are involved, but it's not the norm. I've never understood it. Why wouldn't you NOT want more people to love your child?? But that's StepHell. Nothing makes sense.

Best to you on whatever you decide but I'd lean towards staying home.

My user name is based on my relationship with DH's grandchildren. None. It was made clear to me from when they announced the pregnancy that I was not to be considered a grandparent. My bios don't, and won't, have children so I would have been thrilled to be (step)grandmother. I've learned to lean into it.

It's hard to know what to do in these situations.  Your husband should call his daughter out on her nonsense but it may not do much, if any, good.  My husband called the Lying Ingrate out on his crap and all that happened was the Lying Ingrate did what liars do.  He grasped at straws trying to justify his behavior and the behavior of his darling She-Devil wife.  I helped raise the Lying Ingrate.  He claimed that he considered me his mother, as BM wasn't there for him.  She dumped him on our doorstep when he was 8 saying if we didn't want him she'd put him in a boys home.  She saw him every other weekend mostly until she moved out of state.  Then it was a week at Christmas and I forget how long in the summer. She dumped her other child on the man she claimed was his bio dad but he actually wasn't.  That kid's bio dad took off and likely doesn't know he's got a kid. He was also a boomerang child.  He was tossed back and forth like a hot potato at BM's whim.  We didn't allow that with SS, so he had stability.

I thought we had a good relationship and maybe we did for a while.  Then he married She-Devil and it all went to Hell.  Lying Ingrate learned to lie as a kid from BM.  He came to live with us and learned that it wouldn't be tolerated.  She-Devil brought out the liar in him and also decided she didn't like me, so I guess Lying Ingrate decided that I wasn't worthy.  Oh he played like he wanted me to be grandma to his child.  BM had passed away by this time.  Oh and She-Devil absolutely HATED BM so BM was pretty much tossed out of their lives.  She-Devil just disliked me so she was willing to tolerate me.  But anyway, had the Lying Ingrate actually wanted me to be grandma to his child then he would've tried to facilitate that relationship.  Yet he didn't.  He bombarded his dad with texts and videos about the baby.  For my part, I guess I felt some guilt because I wasn't excited about the baby.  I just didn't care and society expects us to love skids and grand skids like our own after all.  To me it was no more exciting than the next door neighbors that I don't know well having a kid.  I'm happy for them but it means nothing much to me.  Why would I be excited when I was being excluded?  I'm sure I probably would be more included now since not only is BM deceased but She-Devil's parents are both deceased.  I think it's also why Lying Ingrate bombarded DH with texts and made such an effort then. She-Devil's dad had passed away by then.  Before he died, we barely heard a peep from the SS.  My husband is the only living bio grandparent that grand spawn has but he isn't in his life and he can thank his darling two faced lying parents for that one.  

Now SS will miss out on his little brother and little sister's graduations, weddings, he won't get to be a doting uncle to their kids.  Unless they choose to let him in their lives when they become adults and move out on their own.  I don't see it happening but who knows.  My bios have been given the facts and neither seem to miss their brother.  They don't like liars either.  

My DH’s Spawn is about to be a mother and currently they are estranged.  I have asked him will it bother him that he is not going to be a part of his grandchild’s life.  He said part of it hurts, but the other part is okay since he knows his daughter would pull the same thing.  She would allow DH to get attached to the grandbaby then use it and withhold it any time he didn’t do things exactly her way. 

... who does not want any more children in my life. Been there, done that. My bios, god love 'em, were fished out of a hinky gene pool and are generally  maladjusted. If they had kids I'd get sucked into disasters I do not want any part of. SS 37?? is a full-on freak and seems unable to get any woman to hold still long enough. With each passing grand-free year I breathe a little easier.

No grands in your life? I'd say you were shot at and missed.

My mom could not fathom the toxicity coming from the SpermGrandHag.  Over the years she was suspect of the stories DW and I would tell about the ranting banshee batshit crazy toxic shit from the SpermGrandHag.  

Mom indicated on a number of occassions over the years that she would reach out to the Hag to bond as SS's GMs.

Mom was visiting us on one occassion when the SpermGrandHag called and started ranting at my DW.  My mother was shocked.  After a few seconds mom took the phone from my DW and layed waste to the SpermGrandHag schredding her, informing her that she would not speak to her daugther as the SpermGrandHag had been and if the Hag did not immediately grow up and stop her crap she would rue the day she had exposed her toxic self to my mother........

Mom hung up the phone, took my bride's hands, appologized for not being clear on the situation over the years, then she and mom held each other in tears as they did the lady bonding thing.

I am sorry your SD is a BreederHag and that it is interfering in you and DH being grandparents.

I have 7bio grand babies and DH has 2. It was clear from the beginning I was a grandmother only by name to DHs 2. I was excluded from being involved in baby shower plans or sprinkle plans for the 2nd baby. I've always ever been a guest in their lives. I'm grateful they defined my role from the beginning. They are my DHs gkids and he isn't involved in their lives at all (my OSS is an asshole and doesn't realize it's HIS responsibility to allow his father to be a part of the girls' lives). I don't even try to spend time with those 2 grandchildren. It is what it is. If your SD is going to use her kids to hurt you, disengage and spend time with people who appreciate you.