DUI question
I would have posted this in the family court forum but since it's criminal court specifically may not fit there.
One thing about these secretive bio parents you really don't know what's going on til it's too late unless you research. So 2021 we found out too late that SS was not under BMs care for 6mts straight bc her case was moved to another county. Ever since she's officially lost primary and we now have it and she gets EOW so custody flipped.
Ever since this has happened I've been doing random court checks and wow Ever since 2021 and the custody change she's been in court well over 10 times up to now. She is currently pending 3 court cases with 2 cases one in June and another in Aug all related to a DUI from last Nov. It just seems everytime I check there's a new court case for her. It's ridiculous really. Idk if she's spiraling or if she's always been like this and we never knew til now that I'm checking here n there now. My vent is basically what in the heck is going on with this corrupt court system that is her county??? How can someone be in court this many times and still not be locked up??? Of course she doesn't ever mention her court dates. She thinks we have no clue bc we don't bring it up. I'm trying to stay on too of it so we're not blindsided like back in 2017 bc if we knew we'd definitely had done something about it right away.
If she ends up getting locked up for this DUI we will get this back in court asap. Has anyone dealt with this?? She's on her 4th continuance for this case. I'm so confused is this how DUI cases work? I looked it up and I'm seeing 90days but it's been since Jan and it's moving to Aug idk and then how do I know if she's in jail bc she could have gone and just having court dates idk but we don't want to be blind sided and just sending SS9. He doesn't tell us anything even with us being primary for 2yrs. Hm maybe we just wait until she doesn't show up. If anyone's dealt with an ex that's had a dui how did it go?
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My SS25
Received a DUI with at fault accident on fathers day last year. Yup, my poor DH answered the phone at 5:30 am because the call came from him number and low and behold it was the police department. So you better bet your butt that that man is now planning a huge fathers day this year LOL
Anyway, his court date kept getting pushed out because of different factors. His lawyer wanted more information, the blood test from the hospital took more than 2 months to get back, then the lawyer that was working on his case quit the day of his 3rd court appearance so had to be reassigned and rescheduled. He was in court 4 times before his was convicted of DUI.
When you have multiple and if she has a lawyer, they maybe trying to get more info to knock down some of the charges.
Ah
Okay thanks that makes sense. The first 2 continuance I didn't see a lawyers name and now she's had a lawyers name on her case lately so that makes since this lawyer maybe getting more information. I was wondering. With the dui she also received another case for driving with a revoked license from the dui so that's made it 2 separate cases.
And wow on SS lol he really does owe him big time. That's so dangerous an accident happened wow. So he got bailed out? He was convicted? How long did he go to jail? I may have missed it or did your dh have a way to stop it from happening? That's good everything worked out for SS.
No bail
SS25 works 2 jobs 6 days a week. After his 2nd job (family restuarant) he had drinks with his co-workers and a girl texted him at 2:30 AM to drive 45 minutes to see her. His dumb a$$ went after drinking. He fell asleep at the wheel and flipped his car onto a parked vehicle.
He was taken to the hospital with minor scrapes and a banged up knee. DH had to pick him up from there.
He didnt go to jail since 1st offense and there was no way that DH was helping him get away with anything! He didn't pay for his lawyer or even help him figuring out the fines, etc. DH had told him time and time again about not drinking and driving so he plays he pays.
Since he works so much, the judge did allow an ignition interlock system to be installed on his new car. This surprised both of us since Jersey is really tough on drunk drivers.
Insane!
He had a whole accident and hit a car and still got off omg. He is one lucky duck. With bm in and out of court and of all the things she's done in her life and to not spend anytime in jail is so crazy to me. But I'm guessing this dui may be her first offense and so she just may be lucky like that also. Just the year she lost her kids she was known to take shots before driving. Insane insane how she keeps getting away with things. After hearing this now I'm not gonna be surprised if after all this time of continuances of this dui case that nothing happens and she once again goes by saying nothing. I am happy for your SS bc he's young and has no kids yet but bm really needs to stop getting off the hook at some point when it comes to jail time.
He didn't go
to jail, but he didn't get off lightly. If he brushes his teeth, he has to wait 30 minutes before he can blow into the machine to start his car. Once a month he has to go get it calabrated and just one little trace of alcohol he looses his license completely and goes to jail for 30 days.
He has spent over $3,500 in lawyer fees, $2,000 fine to the court, over $1,000 in license surcharges, had to attend drunk driving classes at $250 a class and $10,000 to buy a new vehicle. He did pay all of this in full. He makes good money at both of his jobs. His insurance doubled since the parked car he hit was totalled. We are hoping he learned his lesson. He knows he made a mistake, but you never know. Right now we can sleep at night and not worry, but once that machine comes off his vehicle, I know DH is going to lay awake when we know he is out.
Your BM will only learn if she hits rock bottom unfortunately.
Insane!
He had a whole accident and hit a car and still got off omg. He is one lucky duck. With bm in and out of court and of all the things she's done in her life and to not spend anytime in jail is so crazy to me. But I'm guessing this dui may be her first offense and so she just may be lucky like that also. Just the year she lost her kids she was known to take shots before driving. Insane insane how she keeps getting away with things. After hearing this now I'm not gonna be surprised if after all this time of continuances of this dui case that nothing happens and she once again goes by saying nothing. I am happy for your SS bc he's young and has no kids yet but bm really needs to stop getting off the hook at some point when it comes to jail time.
BM1 got a DUI the night
BM1 got a DUI the night before SS23 graduated high school. It took a year of continuances and hearings and counseling and blah, blah, blah to get her sentenced.
Wow!
You're kidding. A year?? This did start in Jan and it's moving to Aug so that is possible in this case too omg wow. So when she got convicted how long was she in jail? What happened with custody? Was it affected at all?
My mouth is on the floor
What in the world??? Omg that is terrible and exactly what I've been guessing but hoping not to be true. Omg wowowowow. He was away for 2 years and no one knew? Right so secretive and constantly getting away with it and it seems court do nothing but slap on the wrist.
The case where her kids were taken from her the whole process was hidden from us and the other dads til 6mts later after thr case was finally transferred out of that corrupt county. The county it transferred to found all her past records and shared them with our lawyer. Our lawyer said her history is very thick and it's amazing how she's not in jail by now. With hearing about your ex it's even worse. What craziness. Has he ever spent time in jail and did it ever affect the CO?
Now that SS9 is in our Care primarily I have to say that is a big win thanks to that other county. It's incredible how bms county really plays everything she does down. She knows ppl and relatives in her county so strings are being pulled also that county is very slack bc alot of crime happens out there.
I'd have to agree that where we can make changes since we're primary if she asks the request is usually denied. She tries to adjust it anytime she can and fortunately can no longer dangle SS like a pawn anymore. I'm looking to hear IF she ever goes to jail would there be anything we could do. Has he gone? Did the kids still have to go there? That's great that the skid you all had turned out okay. SS9 is doing grear ever since leaving in 2021. He has all As this year just like last yr with us and he's like a different kid having so much less time with bm. He still has his ways here n there but for all he's been through I'm pretty proud of him. Just a bit odd he doesn't share anything still to this day. He's still very scared of her for sure but with him being with us most times I thought we could know. I have a feeling she's been evicted and they're somewhere else...idk.