And Just Like That...aka breakin up and then makin up

I signed up for Hulu because I wanted to re-watch the Sex In the City series, as well as True Blood and a few others. Ive been experiencing a lot of feelings of nostalgia lately, probably because:

1. I had a birthday the beginning of the month. I tend to celebrate quietly and think loudly. Where am I at, Where am I going, Where have I been. Where do I want to go from here. Taking stock.

2. All the BS Ive been slogging through. Is it escapism that leads to more inaction on my part, or escapism that leads to something different and "more". Marriage BS, and step bs. Note the capitalisations.

What I have found is that although I see things through different eyes and different experiences, Im also associating with how things were for me in my life at the time I first started watching these series. SATC was a time when I was in my 30/s and firmly ensconced in a career, living in a Big City on the southern west coast, had a group of girlfriends and we would all get together at one persons studio apartment, flopped around on her bed laughing at all the ridiculousness and humor, and then talk about our own S@x lives, romances, yearnings. I was slender, athletic, and felt like the world was my oyster (my moms saying). That anything could happen, and the futur was this bright shiny horizon and I was zipping forward on a jet ski.

Lately Ive been yearning and dreaming and fantasizing about not having any of the current BS in my life. Not the husband, not the step kids, not the ex, not all the other bs things like toxic frenemies. In my fantasies, Im free of everything holding me down and back. Im again athletic and ahem in shape.

So, I reached out. Got in touch with those very same female friends that are still living down there in my fantasy land, one going thorugh a divorce the other going through empty-nest lonelieness. Both wanting re-connection. Its hard with them being 800 miles away, but I feel strong enough and have the motivation to do this.

AND, husband wants to "make it up to me", and is taking me on a paid weekend down there! He goes fishing and I can tool around doing ANYTHING

The irony in this is the weekend we are going south, is the exact weekend both women (twist!!! they are sisters!!!) are going north to visit their ailing mother.

*** Sd17 Powersulk managed to get registered with no issues***

*** Husband is being the nicest Ive seen, no divorce talk or papers have materialised***

CLove's blog
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I imagine he senses your were

I imagine he senses you were contemplating divorce or found out you were getting things in order and is desperately taking steps to keep you in line with what he wants. Hope you have an enjoyable weekend, CLove.

Possibly

It might also have something to do with:

1. Empty nest demonstrating what is now possible with us.

2. He shoulder - he had some ex rays and an mri scheduled and this shows him his vulernabilities and dependancies. Rebonding over health issues...

3. My boundaries. Since my clarity and boundaries have been voiced, the "jig" is up. He cant use the same tools to keep me in line...

I’m in the same boat CLove.

I’m in the same boat CLove. I have been re-evaluating my life for a while now looking back on the happy outgoing woman I used to be (even after we got custody of Spawn), to the woman I am today. I know a lot of my self-reflection has come from preparing to become an empty nester as well as accepting that I am going through “the change” and not liking what I see for my future. My DH jumping through hoops to see his precious Spawn was what set me over the edge and pushed me into finally addressing all those uncomfortable conversations I’ve been having in my head to finally verbalizing them out loud. My DH is currently in therapy and wants to “save this marriage.” Personally I don’t know if I want to or not, but I’m giving him the time and the chance to see if he can make those changes. Hopefully the trip can give you some more insight into what you want for your future.

How far?

Have you done any "preparationing", such as what is generally done like look into assets division and all that?

The empty nesting filled with mixed emotions from bio parents. Hah. I didnt have that after SD24 Feral Forger left at 18...

I haven't done much honestly,

I haven't done much honestly, I know he would fight me for the house, but I told him that the house would need to be sold so we can split the profits, I'm not leaving him set up in a nice cushy house while I have to rent a studio apartment. I would take half his retirement and demand the full amount of alimony for the longest time possible. Honeslty I would make this divorce hurt because as I told him you wasted my life with you and threw it away, so I'm going to waste your future for you. Yeah I was a b@tch about it honestly, but I have been with him for a very long time, and after this if we don't make it I'm never doing it again.

Sounds like you are more organized

Thank I am!!

"Husband is being the nicest Ive seen, no divorce talk"

"Husband is being the nicest Ive seen, no divorce talk" - read up on the Cycle of Violence again. He knows he pushed a bit too hard and is now circling around to being nice. This pattern is going to continue, especially if you start enforcing more boundaries. None of his good actions count unless they continue on a through line.