“Smart” Home

So it's almost go time and 2 things I'm trying to future out.

I tried to turn this place into a "smart" home but now I need to make it a dumb home so I can leave in peace.

The garage door and the video doorbell are two areas of concern.

I suppose I can either call the alarm company the day of to cancel it (then hook it up at my new place although my new place is already highly secured so i probably won't need it) OR tell everyone not to walk into doorbell camera view, keep it on (just in case he arrives and acts out there is video evidence), cancel it after I leave.

I plan to tell everyone and movers to enter through garage (no video doorbell) but it is "smart" and will ping him when it opens/closes. I thought about manually opening it but idk if it will still notify him.

And yes he will probably call me asking questions if he's not busy as work and trying to figure out why the garage is left open while I'm supposed to be working at that time.

Only other thing I can think of is telling them to use the back door of the house but that might take longer to move as they'd have to walk longer distances with the boxes and stuff

Is there a way to disable a smart garage? Or should I just tell him as I'm moving if he calls to ask why the garage is up during my work hours?

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How long

Do you expect it will take to be out ?

Could you

"Lose" power ?

Can you disconnect the

Can you disconnect the internet router? When my internet goes out, none of the alarm system/doorbells/cameras work, they just show as "offline" in the app. Maybe do it before he leaves in the morning and then make a comment about the internet being out, guess we'll have to figure that out later?

This - 100%!!

Definitely disconnect the router/modem.

As long as

He doesn't have anything connected w a app to alert that the device is offline (my synology NAS does this). I have a chamberlain garage door opener that alerts if opened manually. It has a gateway device connected to the router ( in my case an extender/access point). If that is your setup, simply pull the power cable from the gateway device (or unplug the network cable from it). The garage door will still open "manually" using the switch (button) mounted on the wall and there will be no phone alerts. He'd have to literally go to the app (in my case MyQ) and see that it is offline.

I am lucky in that Chef no longer wants anything to do with IT (since 2003) so I am CIO and all these apps go on my phone exclusively if I ever need to bolt. Good luck!

That's what I was thinking.

That he'd get an alert if it's offline.

I will have to unplug it.

Put some tape over the camera

Put some tape over the camera part so it goes dark.

My Arlo cameras are

My Arlo cameras are rechargeable, so I have to take them down to power them. Not sure which kinds of cameras you have Lilly, but if they are rechargeable, do that.

But I like your idea of calling the alarm company and deactivating the account or at least having them shut it off for the day - tell them your situation and I'm sure they'll help.

Also, will you have friends there with you? Make sure they know that if your soon to be ex (STBX) shows up, to call the local sheriff or police just to keep the peace.

Tape up a leaf. Make it look

Tape up a leaf. Make it look like it stuck to the lens.

Is this helpful?

https://www.cdsdoor.com/blog/how-to-disable-a-garage-door-remote-if-its-....

Can you leave the garage or door open (screen door closed?) so no pinging occurs?

Me... I'd have it cancel the day I moved. Contact the company and let them know this is a potentially inflammatory situation. Maybe it can record with NO pinging. That would give you video proof without alerting him that things are happening.

Using the excuse that the internet is off might work, but how are YOU working? If that's not an issue... "There's an outage because a car hit a transformer. My laptop has enough power for 4-5 hours. If it's not back up, I'll have to go to a coffee shop."

Is there anyone who can be with you that day? I really wish I could be there for you when this is all going down. {{{hugs}}}

Good idea.

When the internet "goes out" and use your cellphone as a hotspot for work. A viable scenario If he calls and asks what is up with the security system.

I took the day off to get all

I took the day off to get all the moving stuff done.

I didn't tell him I took off nor that I'm moving out.

Our work won't let us use hotspots but he doesn't know that. If he happens to call during the move I will give the excuse you mentioned.

Can you just put some tape

Can you just put some tape over the cameras so they don't ping? Or if you have access to account settings can you log him out somehow? Like reset password and log out all connected devices? Trying to disconnect that day might take you longer then you think, not sure I would count on it. They might continue service until end of day. I wouldn't tell him as you were moving, too much chance of him doing something stupid. Too much anxiety.

If you can't figure out a sure way to disconnect it there's always a hammer lol.

Or flip the breakers for

Or flip the breakers for those devices power supply if they are connected that way? Hopefully your move goes fast, your movers follow directions well, and your out in no time flat.

These systems are Web based.

Turn off the WiFi router. If he shows up, turn it back on and let the system record any crap he pulls.

I would take it all with you when you leave. You made the house smart, do not leave it for him

Of, if I am recalling correctly, lyou own the home together, in which case leave the system in place so you can monitor the condition of your asset until you can force the sale or force him to buy you out.

I truly hope that your move is drama free.

Take care of you Lilly

Unfortunately it was rented

Unfortunately it was rented from his brother and he invested about $12k into it so when his brother sells it he gets his money back plus a "profit". Tried to tell him it wouldn't be a profit if he stayed renting the house more than a year.

He claims if I moved out he would move too, sell the house, and give me half of his profit.

However I don't trust his word when it comes to money because one time I told him I was saving money to repair the fridge. I thought I hid the money but he found it, took some out to give to his daughter TWICE, then kept saying he'd put the money back and never did.

That is another major reason I'm leaving him too.

If he needed money for his kids he should have picked up some extra shifts or pound the pavement and slang some p33n not take money from "our" household

But yeah about 90% of thr home goods (including the security system) are mine that I paid for with my earnings.

He's going to come back to a bare ass house

You won't see any of that $$

You won't see any of that $$ but you're not counting on it anyway. It doesn't matter. What matters is you getting out of there safely.

I have no clue why he'd even

I have no clue why he'd even say that.

I guess the incompetent beastly breeder who allegedly verbally/emotionally abused him for years was the only one "worthy" of paying out after split.

Whatever my peace of mind is more import.

I also will never be co-habitating with any man again.

I refuse to have any more of my time wasted by men who are incapable.

I'd either unplug the router

I'd either unplug the router or contact the company ahead of time to have it shut off the morning you plan to leave. If it's all yours, take it with you.

Unless you have a fancy

System with cellular back up. Turning off. Accidentally unplugging the wi fi router . Will stop cambers and other wi if products to send signal. You just have to buy two or three hours. When he gets home he may figure it out. When dinner isn't cooked he's definitely going to figure it out

Be ready for the sob stories. He sorry, he will change. He may actuall believe it, but it's impossible for him to change the way you want unless he's starts a fight with BM, Because BM doesn't want to be stuck with her kids 24.7/2]365. And I guest I see her point. He took part in making them. He should take part in parenting them.

This is just not the type of relationship you want. BM had that relationship, you have the right to the same type of relationships, You need a man without kids. Nothing wrong with that

You have a good point Harry.

Deep down I did not want a man with kids who would be required to live in my home (such as the under 18 kids) but I foolishly lowered my standard because I thought I was "in love" and figured since I had a kid then I could deal with it

So I told myself IF I had to deal with these kids in my space then it was absolute that there was some boundaries, rule, and structure.

Which unbeknownst to me this dude was incapable of providing the structure and boundaries I needed to be able to make the sacrifice worth it to deal with the 364+ weekends of unpaid labor

How would we ever have a family and kids of our own if he's constantly at his ex and kids beck and call every day??? I may be more independent, better looking, better at single parenting than her but I'm not about to be a married single mother bc this dude is too scared to set some more than reasonable boundaries with his exwife and kids.

I didn't mind the kids and I understood he had weekend custody however I DID mind the lack of boundaries, the frequently last minute changing custody schedule, and the weak passive Disneyland parenting style

In the future men with dependents of any kind are an absolute deal breaker.

flip the breaker to the off position for the garage

In the days coming, you can randomly turn the breaker off for the garage. Then turn in back on. Say something like, "the breaker must be going back for the garage. Might have to get an electrician soon to replace it." Then turn it off day of and then turn in on when you are done.

Hopefully

Her stb ex isn't an electrician or in the trades as this would draw Chef-types like a magnet.

When they're too nosy for

When they're too nosy for their own good lol

Disabled the motion detection

Went into the app setting and disabled the motion detection/notification on the doorbell camera- tested it and it appears to be good

Now, on to the "smart" garage door....

Good For You

You made a plan! Great! Before the actual move, can you hire a storage locker for things he won't notice - take stuff out a little at a time - your jewelry, some clothes, etc. Just power down the whole house turning off the router. I would tape over the cameras with black duct tape so he can't get the name of the mover. Do you have neighbors that would call him if they see a moving truck? The camera in the garage just disable it. Hope all goes well. Be safe!

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