This will essentially be my story, though Little Idiot isn't quite that bad... yet. She hasn't demanded money so far, but she can't be bothered with DH unless there's a payoff. 

I fully expect that if DH goes first, OSD will show up looking for her inheritance. If I go first, I fully expect OSD to show up wanting to "help" her dad. 

Inheritance is fully locked down legally. YSD and my kids have agreed that if I go first they will shield DH from OSD.

I hope I don't find out for a long time what will happen.  If I go first though, I bet that my Lying Ingrate SS and his wife the She-Devil, will show up with the GrandSpawn in tow, pretending to be so sorry for his loss.  Internally, they will be dancing a jig.  I bet those two dance a jig at home and throw a "Ding! Dong! The wicked witch is dead!" party.  My husband's oldest nephew will no doubt be in attendance at their little shindig.  They're under the delusion that I control my husband and they want to be the ones in control.  Joke is on them.  Husband controls himself.  I think any of my personal items are safe.  My daughter will get my jewelry and if She-Devil were to somehow be interested in it, my son would step in if my daughter didn't shut her down.  My personal items will be split between my husband and bios, to do what they want.  

If my husband goes first, I can possibly see Ingrate and She-Devil trying to act like they give a rat's behind and act all concerned.  That is, if they don't completely ignore me.  It could go either way.  I don't see Ingrate trying to go after anything that belonged to my husband by himself, but She-Devil could push him in that direction.  We need to update our wills.  I have no intention of even informing them of my husband's demise if he goes before me.  I think my husband and bios know that Ingrate and She-Devil are not welcome at my funeral if I go first.  I will haunt them in their sleep if they show up.  We've been estranged for four years now and man has it been so much more peaceful! 

That is how its done

Im just looking ahead right now to consider if we should labor to pay the house off early so when retirement age hits, our expenses are lowered. And any other considerations. But yea, when husband goes, his 2 daughters will more than likely be unreachable.

Death in blended families can throw even quality and amazing people into a tail spin.

The closest thing to a sister that I have is the youngest of two BKs for her parents.  I was in her brother's wedding right after he and his bride graduated from HS.  I was 16. He is two years older than I am and she is 2yrs younger.

Her mom passed a very short number of months after being Dx'd with an agressive cancer.  My mom and dad had visited them a few months before she died. The DW was my mom's BFF. It was a knee knocker for my mom and dad.

A few years later the DH remarried. He married his son's long widowed MIL.  She had 6 kids.   The new wife demanded that if they married that her kids would inherrit equally to his two kids.  And... the estate from her deceased DH (primarily consisted only of the house) would not in any % go to his kids.

Because my "sister" was the odd person out, she was not married to one of her new SM's children, she was always eating her SM's shit.  She owned a home that her parents had financed. They were her bank.  Her SM started calling her home "their beach house" and would drag her dad to invade for the summers, etc...

She called me heartbroken. On the house thing, and on the fact that her SM was now wearing her mother's jewelry, and her GM's jewelry that had gone to her mom.  I advised that she refinance the mortgage through an actual mortgage company to cut her SM out of the picture on ownership fo her home, and to speak with her brother on their mother's jewelry which my friend felt should go to her and her brother's wife.  They both approached their dad who quietly collected their mom's and GM's jewelry and passed it to them. Her brother kept one piece of their mom's jewelry and one piece of their GM's jewelry for his wife and passed the rest to his sister.  Much of the mom's jewelry was obtained while living as Expats and the SM had zero experience with that. It is very distinctively from the region we all grew up in.

I was always shocked that their dad let his replacement wife pull that crap.  

When she refinanced and paid the original mortgage from her parents off, the check was cut to her father and her mother who were on the original mortgage document.  Apparently the SM/brother's MIL lost her mind on that. Both that she refinanced, and that the check had her mom's name on it.

The jewelry apparently did not cause a whole lot of drama with the SM as the SM only wore it when she was around my friend. 

Their dad passed about 5yrs ago.  Surprisingly, there was little drama after that.

I spoke with her brother recently. His MIL lives with he and his wife. So does a couple of his nieces and nephews (from his wife's sibs).  The brother and sister do stay in touch but not frequently.

Our situation is pretty simple. SS-31 is a fully self supporting launched adult.  I am 12yrs older than my DW and I have a chronic autoimmune disease.  Barring any unforseen events, I will go first. By a decade+.  Though hopefully not for a nother decade or 3.  SS is an only child in our marriage. He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen.

DW and I are each the sole heir and beneficiary of the other regarding our estate. In the event of our co-demise, it all goes to SS.  Though, he will not get a dime until he either turns 40 or completes a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution.  Our final cut at parenting from beyond the grave if he has not got it done by the time we are.... done.

Odds are, he will be in a nursing home with his mother. He will eventually get it all, or at least what is left, but likely not until he is elegible to join AARP.

As I've said before, life events tend to ramp up dysfunction. Engagements, marriages, births and deaths are all opportunities for the excrement to hit the fan.

My DH and I both hail from dysfunctional families, just different flavors. I learned some very useful lessons when my mother died and I had to deal with my long-estranged older siblings. The most important? LAWYER UP, immediately. I had a number of distressing encounters with those bottom feeders in which they attempted to exert pressure and control before I realized I could hire a professional to handle them for me. Did the same thing later when I decided to force the sale of the family home they'd been living in rent free. I didn't have to see or exchange a single word with them, which was wonderful.

My DH has numerous health problems. It's likely he'll pass first, and I know I won't be up for dealing with his kids or family of origin. That chapter of my life is OVER. But I have a game plan: a dear friend will do the notifications and let everyone know that all comms are to be routed through Attorney X. If they call me or come to my door, I won't answer. Services will be private. I sacrificed a lot for them over the years, but I intend to put my needs first when/if I'm a widow.