These are the days of ... (interactive thread)
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Hello friends. We did it!! We survived Mother's Day, Father's Day, school ending and we are coasting into the hell we call 'Summer Vacay w/ The Skiddos'. Can I get a woot-woot-meh.
So now that we've closed off that part of the year, and as we gird our loins for the next part.. including a heat wave, how are you doing?
As usual, you not him or them or her or anyone but YOU. Are you in a good mental place, heading over the cliff, ready to walk away or even run away? Are you the Queen in your castle or the King of your well.. kingdom, or are the peasants staging a hostile takeover? As we slide closer to July, how are you holding up???
I'll add me quickly. I'm good
I'll add me quickly. I'm good. As of this AM I am officially 15 days away from my hip replacement. It needs to hurry the hell up. Because of hip issues I am grounded to the house/couch. The Mr is learning to use the washer and the stove. Pray for me. I am not a good delegator.
Home life is wonderful. Mr
Home life is wonderful. Mr Aniki is very happy with his new job and they love him. Our new grandbaby arrived this morning and is a beautiful boy! <3
Work life is a struggle. King Pita is so over his head, it's laughable. However, he's so overwhelmed, he continues to step on toes, reply to old emails (instead of the newest) which causes a multitude of issues, and expects others to handle things that are above our access level (his tasks). I wish he'd bloody well retire. A sloth could do his job better.
I had a boss like that. Why I
I had a boss like that. Why I am not working right now! lol.
Halfway through week 2 of an unplanned late career sabbatical.
My phone has been blowing up from my former role. Contractors, bendor, AP calls, OEM calls, and even a regulatory agency call. I have been forwarding them to my former boss. He has no idea what they are calling about. So, he is calling me back asking for guidance.
Part of me wants to just not take the calls. But, I am solving problems... for free.
The hardest calls are when vendors or contractors call complaining that the people at the company are being assholes and taking a demanding position about proving that services were rendered before payment. Ummm. I advise the vendors to initiate collection actions as the company is broke and that they need to get their money first or they likely won't get it.
Probably not what I should be doing, but, the pushy bullshit bothered me from day one. They have this cultural characteristic where they are something special and can treat vendors and contractors like shit and those people should be grateful that the company is deigning to work with them.
Starting last week, several critical contractors and vendors have been telling the company they will perform upon payment and not before. I have no doubt my name is being cursed like crazy the past two weeks. I have only been stating the facts to the vendors/contractors who are calling for clarification, money, or updates. Not badmouthing the company.
I truly hope they figure themselves out. Their product is incredible. Leadership, is a trainwreck.
Once again King PITA lives up
Once again King PITA lives up to his name. As useless as tits on a bull.
I read about the new grandbaby. I'm so excited for you. I love being Grandma Tia, you're going to love this new adventure too!!
I got an attitude reset on
I got an attitude reset on Sunday at my daughter's dance recital. There was a young woman in a wheelchair who, along with two dancers, danced both in her chair and on the floor, upright and on the ground (her legs are paralysed). It was stunning, breathtaking and she got a standing ovation. That afternoon, I learned not to worry about what I can't do and to focus on what I CAN do.
It's not an attitude reset,
It's not an attitude reset, it's a reminder. We all need reminders once in a while. How was your daughter's portion of the recital?
I think if I were to say that
I think if I were to say that she threw herself into it, it would be an understatement...
LOL
I love spring and summer. I
I love spring and summer. I don't think I've loved it this much since I was a kid -- because I've had the time to slow down and notice things. We have a beautiful property with lots of birds. On Sunday, a local wildlife rehabber is coming over and releasing 7 baby bunnies (able to be on their own, of course). I have to admit I'm a *little* excited that they have been handled by humans. hmm.
In January, I quit the job I had when DH had his health crisis last year (long story) and I've been interviewed for a fabulous opportunity to work 2 days a week with basically a f/t salary. I started running and swimming again and I'm aiming for a 4-mile race (with beer at the end) in the fall. I'm working on some of my writing projects (I used to get published back in my 20s and discarded all that with my nose-to-the-money-making grindstone for so damn long) and I'm going to a volunteer training at the local therapeutic riding center this Saturday (therapy riding for veterans). Also tending my flower & veggie gardens. DH and I are going for a 3-mile hike at a nature preserve near the water this morning.
It's amazing what happens when we slow down.
I'm so jealous. We have baby
I'm so jealous. We have baby bunnies but Rudy tends to scare them off.
It sounds like you've found your balance. I'm so glad for you!!
Stressed Tired and Rumi-nating
This morning Im tired. Yesterday I was more refreshed, but now Im looking forward to a peaceful week. Husband is leaving tonight around 8 for his multi-day fishing trip south, I will have the house to myself without SD18 Princess Powersulk Do Nada, who will be at her mothers until maybe next week or whenever.
Work, while busy-ish has been peaceful due to the manager traveling and the assistant manager being on vacation for the week. Im looking into what activities I will be partaking in while I have this time. Writing, running and music are my top 3 options :
For writing, Im loving Google Docs, because anywhere I have internet I have access to my story ideas. Im working on a "seasonal romance series" and Summer is HERE
For running, well its been FANTASTIC weather, my yard projects can wait, ive got stuff in the ground all they need to do now is GROW, and the trails near to my home are wonderful - a little wild, but not scary wild. Its close enough to the coast that the ocean breezes are cooling the heat.
For music - Im putting together where Im going to see some live music - Face book is helpful there. Lots of local performers needing an audience, and since husband isnt going to be around, theres no guilt tripping my solo adventures.
Glad your surgery is less that 2 weeks away after today
That's right, you are now in
That's right, you are now in the 'Week of CLove' enjoy, relax and if you want to do that nekkid walking around the house you talked about. I'm glad you're getting a mental battery recharge!
Generally, I'm good. Though
Generally, I'm good. Though I am back into the search for my next career role. My last company is broke. I'm the 5th 6-figure leader gone in less than 4 mos.
But, my sugar mama just got a nice raise and a big bonus.
How is your son doing?
How is your son doing?
He called for Father's Day on
He called for Father's Day on Sunday. He sounded very good. He had just walked in from a day out with friends. His first get out and socialize event in more than 6mos. His Psychiatrist increased his meds and that seems to be very helpful. He is working with his leadership and with the health team so it appears that the risk of having major career consequences are somewhat mitigated.
He sounds good. Which is a relief for his mom and me.
Thanks for asking.
I laugh when I read that
I laugh when I read that because I can almost picture you being a kept man. Do you greet her at the door, holding a tray of snacks and martinis, clad in nothing but an apron?
Not yet. But I may just give
Not yet. But I may just give it a try.
I do cook dinner just about every evening. I usually start dinner when she leaves her office. It is usually ready about 20mins after she gets home. I also try to have the disches done and things generally picked up. I even run a vacuum and swiffer on the floors every once in a while.
I think she is starting to get the retirement bug as well. Unfortunatly we are not there yet. Mainly due to me not being at Medicare age yet. No medical insurance with my $3K/mo maintenance meds and durable medical supplies does not facilitate retirement.
Woot woot!
Woot woot! Sheildmaiden here. I am doing ok. I am on a new healthier diet, and losing weight. I want to be a my fighting weight for this coming holiday season. I'm sure there will be drama. Allegiances are shifting and new rules are in place, so it should be "fun."
I have been with DH for 12 years. We have seen eachother through illness, injury, and heartbreak, and we are stronger for it. The Sd's have chosen BM over DH - although they could have had a relationship with both, but sadly, didn't. BM is now supporting all 3 SD's (18, 20, 22) while they live at her home. SD 18 is going out of state to college.
DH and I are trying to think about our retirement and what that looks like. We are kicking around the idea of living in another country where its cheaper, but renting our home out while we are gone. (Not to the SD's!)
Welcome newbies. How are you all doing? Know that we are here to support you. We've all been there, done that, so no judgement.
We're counting down my Mr's
We're counting down my Mr's years until retirement. I love the 'what if we' stage.
I'm beyond giddy that the trio of SDs are their mothers couch taters and not yours.
heck yeah!
Heck yeah! The only tater on my couch is ME! (I'm working on that, by the way.)
I flat out told DH there is no way in hell I am ever sharing a home with those girls again. He seems relieved, to be honest, that I put my foot down. It made things simple for him, as he is starting to see their chittiness up close and is astonished.
I love that he is the one that helped me get my confidence back at work, and that confidence spilled over into home. So now I feel much better prepared to help him keep his kids in line. Its the circle of life. Ha ha.
if I had a trio of harpies
if I had a trio of harpies like you did I'd have put my size 4s down too. And it's not like you were just taking one for the team and diverting their wrath (Wrath O' The Harpies' great band name) onto you, you actually meant it and he actually agreed!
Doing well
I got a big reprieve today. I was going to take granddaughter, C, her friend and 8yo son to a children's museum today. But the boy was sick last night so we postponed til next week. So, that means a whole day off for me, no Silver Sneakers, no visit to Mom. Yah! I really treasure the days when I dont have to go anywhere. Normally, I only have one "off" day a week.
So, since the day is cooler and breezy, I decided to start a project I've been planning. DH86, back in the day, was a runner, really good. We've got 6 shelves of trophies in the family room. I took them all on the deck and washed them. I plan to do a little repair and touch up, too. DH helped, too.
Life is good!
would that childrens museum
would that childrens museum happen to be in NY?
I love it when you say "Life is good" Everyone here is in a different stage of Stepping and those of us who've hit level ground can be helpful to those of us just starting out or waist deep in skiddo/bm quicksand!
It's the Magic House in St. Louis
We have 9 gkids and over the years, we've taken them all. But it's strenuous so I'm glad my granddaughter is bringing her friend along with her son. That way I can sit down and let them roam.
I've been there! It was many
I've been there! It was many years ago, but so much fun.
Limping along
The various spring holidays and family holy days are crippling to me. I hurt deeply from how irrelevant I am to those I wanted belonging with.
My new job is excellent and I am an asset in my position. The mental work of learning a new set of skills crowds out some of my heartache most days.
The rest of the time I'd prefer a large boulder to fall from the sky and crush me so I could find some genuine relief from the howling loneliness.
I'll get by. It's what I do. It's just a lot of effort to find joy despite the circumstances. Today I'm just weepy and aware of how untreasured I am. It's not right.
((HUGS))
Sending you love right now from Central Coast California.
There are good days and not good days, to be sure, but I was wondering how your job is going and now that its been a month it sounds like they appreciate you!
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. Don't let anyone tell you differently. We steppers seems to have everyone expecting us to just go w/ the flow and we have every right to wallow occasionally. Know that we are here, we are listening and we know you need to relieve some of that mental pressure once in a while. But I also know, no matter the outcome, you can do this. No matter what this ends up being.
Hang in there
Hang in there. I can tell you are a tough gal. Everyone struggles sometimes. Stepping is hard, and hard to deal with on top of life's other stressors. Just be kind to yourself and patient. Think about how you want the future to look, and how you will get there. Setting boundaries, communicating with DH/SO about how you feel, and not letting anyone tell you that your feelings are not valid - because they ARE VALID. You are not the crazy one. You are the sane one.
Sometimes time is the only thing that helps, along with taking steps to protect your sanity and peace at home. Remember to laugh at the absurdity of it all, and know that you are a badass and you will be fine.
Getting by is not the best
Getting by is not the best thing. Maybe join a book club at the library, or volunteer, or join a hiking group/a coupon club/a you see where I'm going w/ this club so that you can meet people who want to be near you and you can leave those who don't to fester in their own unhappiness.
Stressed. DH is still
Stressed. DH is still battling infected knee replacement. There is progress, but he still can't put weight on one leg. We are waiting on arrival of a wheelchair and in the meantime getting him in and out of the house is difficult and teetering on dangerous. Heck, getting to the bathroom is hard.
But he's appreciative and kind. Some people can be real jerks when they're sick and frustrated and I'm glad I'm not dealing with that.
His kids? Still no contact, to my knowledge.
That sounds awful! Can you
That sounds awful! Can you all get some help via home health care? How long does his doctor think this will take to get better?
Oh dear. That poor guy I can
Oh dear. That poor guy I can't imagine how badly that must hurt. And you to have your expectations canged and his recovery completely different from what you two planned on.
DH is lucky to have you
DH is lucky to have you. His kids are no where to be found while he is dealing with this injury. What kind of kids don't help out their dad when he is hurt? They sound awful.
I would check out volunteer services where people come in and help you around the house. Also a home health care nurse. This will give you a break.
Hang in there. You are doing great! We are here if you need to vent.
DH is lucky to have you
DH is lucky to have you. His kids are no where to be found while he is dealing with this injury. What kind of kids don't help out their dad when he is hurt? They sound awful.
I would check out volunteer services where people come in and help you around the house. Also a home health care nurse. This will give you a break.
Hang in there. You are doing great! We are here if you need to vent.
I'm glad your husband is one
I'm glad your husband is one of the good ones. Sad that his kids don't make any effort. I always let my dad and step mom know that all they needed to do was call and I'd be there to help. They never did but I did keep in touch. Dad's been gone since 2001 and I still miss him. These skids need to wake up before it's too late. They'll be crying about regrets if they don't.
I’ve had a bit of an epiphany.
I don't know exactly what happened, but perhaps after living in high stress for so long, trying to put in practical solutions for SO and his disordered kids, now that they're diagnosed, medicated and attending therapy, I had a crash. Things started moving forward finally, and it's just like my body and brain just decided to implement a break. I had this sudden repulsion towards the bratty behavior come over me and realised it's not my job to fix it. While they seem to like me and want contact with me, I do not. That might change with time, I am keeping my mind open.
I suddenly felt so burnt out and vacant, but that allowed me to come to some conclusions guilt free: I don't need to play happy family and go on holidays from hell with them. I don't need to drive on Friday night, immediately after work all the way to them, because some waning sports interest and standing around the squelchy/scorched field with no shelter or seats at stupid hour in the morning is more important than my health and rest.
I don't need to diffuse their screaming matches and destructive meltdowns - I can just leave, go for a walk or a drive and come back when it's done.
I don't need to give away my lovely (and pretty fancy) dog that I've always dreamt of, because one of the kids can't stop harassing him until he snaps.
I don't have to move in with them while the kids act obnoxious, escalate, get violent and cause property damage on a daily basis. I can keep my lovely home to retreat to, and dip in and out of their environment as I please.
Heck, I don't even need to go to restaurants with them, where we're constantly trying to manage their behaviors and prevent a fight from erupting or them purposely breaking something.
I don't even have to spend any time with them I don't want to, AT ALL, because we don't live together. I can choose to see my SO when he arranges child care or sleepovers at friends.
I don't have to participate in adoration of the dead selfish, manipulative BM, just because kids need to have a good image of her.
I've had my share of bad choices when younger, and can still hear their echo occasionally, but none of them involved reproducing with a disastrous, disease and selfishness ridden family, and it's not my cross to bear.
Amen!
You said it!
I applaud your epithany. You
I applaud your epithany. You are standing up for you!! And you're right, you do not have to tolerate disrespect, insults, misery, and unhappiness. You didn't make the monsters you do not have to tolerate or pick up their crap.
Use your time for you. Let him flounder in the mess of the offspring he and his ex created and destroyed. You do you, screw them.
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I'm tired. I'm stressed. My
I'm tired. I'm stressed. My guinea pig, Princess Popcorn, will have to lose a kidney due to hydronephrosis and what we thought were cysts on her kidneys are actually on her liver. I went to a University vet hospital in another state this past Monday where I spent too much money to have a detailed ultrasound done when my vet wanted a CT scan. They said the ultrasound would be better so I said ok. We at least found out where the cysts are, but we don't know why they're there. The good news is that my vet went to bat for me and got the company who owns the practice she's in to cover the kidney removal surgery and anything associated with that because it may be a complication of the spay surgery that was done on her last month. I will be responsible for the liver biopsy and any treatment associated with it. Kidney removal will be $2000-$4000 if we take her back to the vet hospital and we are being strongly advised to take her there. I didn't want to go back but I'm willing to as long as the resident who examined her is NOT near her. My daughter and I did not like or trust her. My vet is going to request that the other vet who was there do the surgery. He is supposed to be the best and wrote most of the veterinary books that my vet has. Since the kidney removal is being paid for by the vet practice owners, we are able to take her there.
I worked off some of my stress in my sadly neglected garden. With the stress over Princess Popcorn, not to mention it's been HOT, I haven't had time to weed the garden like I should. It's not fun to do, but I felt good getting some of the grass and weeds out but now I'm sore. I have more work to do out there. I actually found a watermelon today! In a couple of weeks it should be ready. Popcorn LOVES watermelon. She will start screaming if she hears my husband cutting a watermelon, demanding a piece. She has to pull through so she can have her favorite treat.
I'm glad that Fathers Day is past now. I miss my dad a lot anyway but especially days like that. I baked my husband a carrot cake and got him a card. My daughter went after work and got him a pack of his favorite candy bars and a t-shirt of his favorite football team. He seemed happy with everything. I think he had a good Fathers Day and hopefully he felt loved.
remember to take care of you
remember to take care of you as you're dealing with everything. You matter and you count. Don't run your batteries down so far that you can't recharge them/you.
Princess Popcorn will be on my mind, please update us as anything occurs.