Family Court just loves HCBMs
BM filed a "modification petition" for CS and postsecondary support in April. DH didn't receive notice of it until May. The petition did not include any financial information (as required by law) or any specifics on what SSs plan to do now that they've graduated from high school. Under our state's law, DH had 20 days to respond or he would be "defaulted" and essentially the court could order him to pay whatever BM requested (or would guess what his income was and demand he pay that). So, we got DH a lawyer who responded in that timeframe and requested financial documents. It has been over a month and there has been no response from BM or her lawyer. I told DH to contact his lawyer and find out how long BM can take to get back to him, so he did and the lawyer said because BM filed the petition she can take as long as she wants to reply, "up to a year or longer" according to the lawyer. Seriously?! So, now we just have to sit around waiting to see if BM replies ever to her demand for money. Also, she insisted CS should continue, but in our state, CS basically only continues if a child is so disabled they can't support themselves, which is not the case for either SS.
I find it so annoying that DH only had 20 days to reply, but BM can take all the time in the world. Also, her request for modification wasn't thrown out even though it lacked information that it is required to include, by law.
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Comments
Yes, it does appear that they
Yes, it does appear that they do.
How long until step child reaches emancipation age for your state?
She may be waiting until dad files HIS request to stop cs.
Or does your state automatically stop cs without going back into court?
Both skids are now 18 and DH
Both skids are now 18 and DH no longer has to pay CS. One is supposedly going to college, but we have not received any specific info. Also, supposedly BM's parents are paying for skid to go to college (and they were supposedly planning to pay for both skids, so should have plenty of money for just one).
HCBMs are family courts'
HCBMs are family courts' bread and butter. The courts and the lawyers are happy to keep collecting those fees.
Can't your husband file his
Can't your husband file his own modification of child support and then she will be forced to provide her financial information in 20 days or it will default to ending?
That's a good question. Their
That's a good question. Their agreement said BM reserved the right to ask for "post secondary support", so I'm not sure if he could. He paid CS to her. In their agreement, CS ended automatically after they graduated, which happened two weeks ago.
Their agreement said BM
She can ask but doesn't mean it will be awarded nor enforced.
Unless your husband bankrolling multiple six/seven figures them post secondary support is not nearly as crucial to award/enforce as support during under 18 because at this point the kids (if push comes to shove so to speak) can obtain work study, student loans, grants, jobs, and scholarships to pay whereas 98% of underage dependents cannot provide for themselves.
*im not a licensed lawyer though so consult with legal professionals whenever possible
Yeah, I don't think BM will
Yeah, I don't think BM will get much from DH. He's had to take a lower paying job because the job market for his trade is not great right now (we live in a tech heavy area and construction has contracted majorly due to interest rate changes). BM will try to hide her income, but can only do so much.
My biggest annoyance is that she didn't submit the petition correctly (by not including financial info), lied in the document (which said financial info was included) and now will have as long as she wants to provide it, leaving us still tethered to her until the one skid planning to go to college either drops out (which I suspect will happen based on his past resilience in school and the fact that all academic data indicates he is not "college ready") or turns 23 (the age at which post secondary support can no longer be required in our state). We both just want to be done with her.
DH has told BM that if his employment situation changes and he is able to contribute to skids education, he will, but right now, he really can't. If she wanted to "put the past behind us and work together" as she always says, she would a) provide information on where skid is going and what it will cost; b) discuss what her parents are paying; c) figure out the difference; d) then actually work with DH. But, she really just wants him to be legally on the hook for money.
What she also fails to realize is that in our state, the precedent for these decisions is that the student be responsible for 1/3 of their cost of college and the parents are responsible for 2/3rds, so taking the legal route either means that skid will have to pay or she will becauee DH would only be obligated to cover whatever his percentage of the 2/3rds would be. When he was fully employed making the highest wages for his trade, he was responsible for 1/3 or extra costs, with BM (who had hidden income even then) responsible for 2/3rds. Now that percentage would be higher because BM makes a lot more than she claimed and DH makes less than he used to.
Not to knock your and your
Not to knock your and your husband experience but not all court systems are biased toward BMs just because of their gender. They're biased towards the BM most likely because she has custody and the kids are with her.
Corrupt family courts favor money ... throw money around, buy the best lawyers money can buy (said lawyers have clout with judges who can be bought too)
GOOD family courts favor the children. That's what they're supposed to do. Whoever has the children will typically be in favor.
Men want favor in the courts then they need think of how they can effectively prove their case (vs settling for a defeat before they've even stepped into court) and/or to file for at least 50% custody.
And many family courts still
And many family courts still default to BMs as the custodial parent, so by favoring the custodial parent, they are biased in favor of BMs
^i see what you're saying
^i see what you're saying
we dot DH a lawyer who
second opinion
Also, she insisted CS should
Same Here
Family courts here in the South almost always go for the BM regardless. Two examples.
The BM here decided she needed a "rehab" stay at some church facility in New Orleans. We go through the legal process, at HER request, to get custody of the kids. She heads off to NOLA. Paperwork gets to the judge's desk to sign and he "demands" tp speak with the mother of the children to make sure she understands what she's doing. Add to the mix, CPS was involved and stayed involved for over a year due to her neglect of the kids. BM could not, or would not speak to the judge so we lost another $4000. Kids stayed in ClanLand with the sister and what a crap show ensued.
I was called to testify in a custody case. BM had a boyfriend who "got in the wrong bed" one night with her 10 year old daughter. The child was besides herself and the dad had to get her immediately. Guess what? Judge decided he'd tell BM the boyfriend could not sleep over anymore. Nothing changed except the dad lost a couple thousand dollars.
So, yeah...courts DO favor the BMs.
What did I just read. How
What did I just read. How long ago was this?
That's outrageous on both
That's outrageous on both counts, but especially the second.
OMG. BM may have to get
One of those things callled a job. We don't want that, do we. The thought of the $ drying up. No CS is putting BM into a panic,
'Time to hire a lawer and put a end to this craziness for good. You should agree to pat a % of SK colllege cost. If they maintain a certain grade, have access to there portholes. Ect. Payed directly to college. And any exter money give. To SK is up to you. If you get disrecepter all is called off.
'Any way you cut it. BM is out of the equation. CS is not a lifelong payment
BM has a very well paying job
BM has a very well paying job (she makes at least $350k per year). She does not need DH's money, but she will fight over a penny and would love to see DH (and the children he and I have together) go without so she doesn't have to pay for skids.