DH is not working because his industry took a hit when interest rates went up and it hasn't recovered. He's also part of a union that added a ton of members when times were good, so now nearly 1000 of them are out of work. Some of the people on tbe available staff list have been out of work since October 2022. He had a job that was supposed to last until August, but it got delayed in December and because he's union, they drop workers from the project immediately. He's applied to non union jobs in his field, but with so many people out of work, they are super competitive. He could "travel" and he's done that, but we have two small kids and no support network, so I cannot handle him being away all week. We are at the point where he may have to take a retail job, but he would make less than unemployment, so we're waiting for that to run out first. Unemployment covers expenses, not extras. DH has always paid more CS than required and BM used to ask him for extra money each month, which he paid without question before he met me. He has never made enough for extras on top of living expenses and what he pays for skids. BM on the other hand is a partner in a national accounting firm, so makes at least $300k depending upon how profitable the firm is. So, she could have been putting money aside, but didn't. She is also a CPA, so should have also known about financial planning. Finally, skids have told DH repeatedly that BM's parents are paying for college. BM never shares what she is paying or what others are contributing, she just demands to know what DH will pay. 

I will add that I've told him for years that he needed to be prepared for this and when times were good he should have put a small amount aside that he could offer, but he never did. I've been clear with that I would not be paying anything for skids to go to "college", esp because they are lazy and I don't think they are capable of doing college work, so I honestly believe that it's just throwing money away. 

I will add that BM is very familiar with the work cycles in DH's industry. Times were similarly slow when Skids were small, so DH was the primary caregiver which allowed BM to build her solo accounting business which was purchased by the firm she now works for. DH should have gotten alimony and a payout for helping to build the business when they divorced, but he couldn't afford a lawyer. BM's job is she does accounting and valuation for divorce lawyers, so she had many lawyers to work with. 

I'm not sure. MIL wouldn't care, she always thinks DH doesn't spend enough on skids, even though he was so broke after the divorce that he had to live with her for a bit. I think that's why she was looking at what I did, because she figures he should be able to use whatever I earn to pay for skids. 

BM doesn't have an SO (well, she has a boyfriend, but he has not been around long). She's the one who makes at least $300k. She could easily have been setting money aside for college and is a CPA, so she should not be surprised and have no plan as skids get ready to graduate HS. I honestly don't think she has no money, she's just trying to get as much as she can from DH, which she has always done, even knowing he was broke. 

They would not qualify for financial aid because BM makes too much money. Her salary would likely put her in the top 5% of earners in our state and maybe nationwide. He can likely take out loans, though. In all honestly, I think BM and her parents have the money, BM just thinks that DH needs to contribute even though she spent the money he put aside, he was not consulted at all, and right now does not have the means to contribute.

Also, skid could go to community college and save money, which many other kids do when their parents don't have enough money for college. Skid is also not at college level in either reading or math. He's taken remedial English for most of high school and currently has a D in "consumer math", which is his only real academic course this semester.