ME! In 2019, when we were in the thick of our toxic, horrible, custody battle with BM, I was on another stepparent site, venting about BM's deplorable court conduct and tactics. All the other SMs tried giving BM benefit of the doubt, where I could not after being the target of her court tactics, having her accuse me of abuse, and her making up horrendous lies to try to sway the courts in her favor.

I was told I "signed up for this." I was basically accused of being too hard on her and was told to meet BM where she was at and try to be understanding of her position since she was MOM and I was STEPMOM (and these were all SMs in this group). NOPE. I came to Steptalk and never looked back. 

Since SMs have been getting a bad rap since time immemorial, I’m not the slightest bit surprised that Reddit posters have gone on the attack. I’m also convinced that the nastiest of the commenters were those without stepchildren. That old adage, ‘Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes’, is notably applicable to stepparenting. 

Ignore the arseholes. Empathy and understanding are what we’re here for.

Reddit is crazy sometimes. I don't bother posting replies on there anymore. There seem to be alot of entitled adult step children who will rip you to shreds for saying anything nice. Such as to take it easy on the step parent. One crazy trend I noticed on reddit lately is that there are a lot of adult step children who nonstop post comments that basically they don't have to show their step parent respect because "it's just dads girlfriend" etc. If you try to argue the person deserves respect still and their dads partner is important they don't take kindly. Usually it is when they are getting married or something and want to invite just one parent to the wedding and not the bio parents partner because apparently they are nothing 

According to Google:

As of April 2024, the average age of Reddit users in the US was 23 years old, with 44% of users between the ages of 18 and 29, 31% between 30 and 49, 11% between 50 and 64, and 3% over 65. This age distribution shows that Reddit is most commonly used by younger people, who are often more active on social media and tech-savvy.

... and that's not even counting the underage kids who are lying about their age to get on the site.

So take it with a grain of salt. These are probably very young stepparents who are still in the honeymoon phase of step parenting. They haven't been in the trenches long enough to get sick of the BS.

Spawn and womb worshipers are everywhere. No recognition of quality, behavior, or accountability for shit behaviors. Just being a spawn or the keeper of the golden uterus grants some sacred zero responsibility status from those who worship these folks. 

While the SParent and their mate are automatically some evil blame target.

I get similar stuff on sub Reddits on SParenting.  If I can even post. I have to revise most of my comments just to get them accepted.  Even then, there is usually some fanged  worshiper of failed family weenus lemurs and toxic X BPs who loses their mind.

 I don't "do" Reddit. But I was on CafeMom almost 20 years ago and had the same experience. And it was from women my age or older. It was insane. I also thought many of them were putting on an ACT to make their lives look good by tearing down others going through the same crap. They just didn't want to admit they lived with toxic SKs.

It's also where I was "found" by a group of ladies who understood StepHell and invited me into their private group. They actively watched for women like me. Out of that group, six of us are very close and get together once a year. We had a fabulous time this past April. 

As someone said, I wouldn't put too much into it but I also wouldn't post or comment on Reddit or anywhere about Step issues because people just don't get it....really, one cannot "get it" without living it. 

I usually stay out of the Reddit SM subs, but I haven't (yet) seen that. I remember in the early days of the dysfunction, I got torn a new one on some site when I went there desperately to find support for and try to make sense of  "getting nuked" just a few months into our marriage. I'm sure there are some bad SMs out there, but, my God, there is still a huge chunk of the population that automatically believes we are all horrible. . . which likely feeds into why so many of our skids act like Neanderthals. 

People on it just want to cause trouble.  They have nothing going on in there life so troublemakers is there job. No one understands SP except another SP.   professional under stand SP and they understand there nothing they can do about it.  But can not tell SP   that.  Please don't spend your money on me I can't do anything. I will find a real job.  No we will make you feel better about yourself 

'Ask yourself do you know anyone who actually did better after the mental health dash. Any one actually cured,  or they just know how to play  the gane better.   Knowing all the ketch words.  I doing better, I only go nuts once a day now.  

I wouldn't even dream of posting one word on Reddit..especially these threads of the  SP bashing variety..which seems done alot more than giving any helpful advice or support. For the record, recently, I happened to come across a Reddit thread seeking some insight about something non SP related...and the person posting looking for guidance inevitably got blamed and raked through the coals by a few people without fail . ( meanwhile the OP's were in the right honestly) 

So I wouldnt share anything on there, No more than I'd say a word on Facebook or other social media too. It took me enough courage to finally contribute to  StepTalk let alone throw myself out to the wolves on these other forums. I also agree with other's comments in that Reddit comments are mostly made by young people who are bitter entitled Stepchildren ( I wouldnt be surprised if my own SD wasnt amongst the naysayers. She would be the one to weigh in like that)given that she acts like she is the perfect "stepmom" to her boyfriends spawn and all self righteous.). OR if the posters are SP's themselves, then either they are naive and new to the situation. The other option I would guess is that there are also SP's who are actually struggling just as much as most of us in StepTalk, but are just projecting on others ..because they  just compeltely delusional and in denial about their own problems or just dont want to accept them. 

I've been banned from several subs on Reddit for speaking uncomfortable truths or being "not nice enough". lol I sleep just fine despite this.

But I have gotten positive feedback on occasion, especially when talking about Failed Family propaganda, how single parents need us far more than we need them, and how SPs have to stand up for themselves. Yes, there's some exceptionally dumb bunnys there, some hateful adult skids and some trolls, but overall I see more young people realizing that steplife is intrinsically unfair and standing up for themselves. They're much smarter than I was at that age.

So I continue to post occasionally over there. What's the point of having a Masters in Stephell if you can't use it to hopefully save someone from becoming collateral damage in someone else's toxic poo?

I never post on any step parent sites, only here.  I have seen people rip a person to shreds one too many times for not conforming to the butt suckling of the ex BM and skids.  I have commented my opinions on some, usually just to empathize that I have been in their shoes and let them know they are doing the best they can. 

The jist I got from the adult step kids (a lot of them anyhow) is that they don't give 2 craps about who their parent marries and they want nothing to do with them. It's that they don't value the fact that this is their parents life mate and love.

They don't respect them anyhow. This person means nothing. It doesn't matter to them that it's an important person in their parents life and they literally don't care. They don't see it they way. They see it as that they have their parent and the other person means nothing. They don't even try to care or treat them as a person. But... When they marry they want to have thanksgiving dinner with their spouse and then invite their one bio parent and not their parents partner. I saw it over and over and over.

I wonder if I could find the blog. It was crazy to read such disrespect. Lack of care. At one point I called the step parent part of the family and got blasted. They don't consider these peeps family but want their spouse to be family. 

When I was pregnant and on pregnancy forums there were a smattering of step daughters talking about "issues" with their step mothers. One I tried to point out how her father was just as much to blame, if not more so due to his biological and legal obligations than her step mother and that she had forgiven him but not the step mother. All because the bio mom had died prior to the new relationship and the step mom dared to try to be a "mother" figure to her step child. I get how that could not be welcome as a child - but once you're grown and having your own kids, surely you can step back and see that she was just trying to do what she thought was best, even if it was missguided.