For some reason,, most likely many reasons.  SD and BM are playing games where you are being disrespected.  You must start preparing yourself for a battle you see coming.  As Country's always prepared themselves.   You have a feeling that DH doesn't have your back.  That's a bad thing .  
'you must demand respect.  

It's been a while since I've had a skid dream (nightmare). But it's coming up on holiday pilgrimage season, and stress comes along with the falling leaves. But the pilgrimage won't happen this years since SD banned DH. Don't know about SS--last year was kind of a disaster.

Hoping my dream world transforms into holiday joy. That would be nice. 

"[DH] walked over to BM to remedy the situation"

That tells it all right there. Subliminally, you were expecting/hoping that your DH would "have your back" and give you the sustenance you need (meal).  His way of doing that was to ... go to BM.  ???

Hmmm. I'm thinking that's kind of telling, Mia. Normally, wouldn't a spouse go to the waitstaff or the wedding planner and get you a plate? 

The other part is the rest of the dream was spent trying to get yourself out of the situation. Again, wouldn't your DH be leaving with you?

I'm no Sigmund Freud, but I think this dream tells you that you do not think your DH will prioritize your needs (meal), will rally with BM (seeking her help/approval) for issues she's involved with, and will let you fend for yourself when you need to escape. 

Start carrying a high end tote bag with a silk napkin and place mat, a top brand china plate, wine glass, and silverware.  Then if this happens IRL turn your nose up at the peasant dishware that BM provides, pick it up with a napkin so not to soil your petal soft manicured hands with her low class items and set them aside.  Then place your silk place mat, napkin, high end dinnerware in the proper order on the table, then take your plate and select foods that are to your elevated standards while making bitter beer face and wrinkling your nose at most of the foods available.  Then go back to your proper place setting, pull high end foods out of your bag, and enjoy.

Have fun!!!

I know it is a dream, but.... why not have some fun with it?  Being radiant and living well are the best revenge. Have fun living your best life and rubbing their noses in it.

...the nightmare in which OSD was trying to kill me. I felt such unease for a long time afterwards, I still feel that, if she had opportunity, she would make it happen. 

DH insists she "would never" hurt you. He also insists his mother would not put up with her nonsense. Wrong on both counts, he vastly underestimates OSD and vastly overestimates his mother. I say this with certainty; 4 months ago, when MIL thought OSD "was trying to kill Trudie" she did absolutely NOTHING to come to my aid. In fact, even though she heard the entire interaction, she blamed me. Even though I said NOT ONE WORD. I do not get in the mud with pigs...or anyone. How does one even deal with this level of dysfunction, other than disengage?

I will continue to follow my gut.
 

I get this totally. Every once in a while I will have my own nightmares about SD29. Thank goodness this doesnt occur every night! The last one I can remember the most is of her showing up unannounced and moving in. That actually did happen in real lifein the past so I supposed its valid as to why I had that dream. It is a fear or worry that does seep into my subconscious every  now and then .But still  have my guard up and ,  I woke up in a cold sweat thinking it was real, since it was that vivid and that is one of my worst nightmares actually. 

The only nightmares I have ever had in my life were related to my SIL My younger brother's wife.  They included my brother.

There is some backstory that likely influenced the severity of those two nightmares. Or more accurately, the same nightmare that I had twice across a couple of years.  First, we lost our youngest brother, when he was 10mos old, to a virulent onset disease. He got sick one day, and passed the next.  He was 2yrs younger than my surviving younger brother.  The baby passed when I was 9 and my brother was 3.

Next ,I had experienced an empathetic nightmare that my mom had a couple of years after we lost my youngest brother. She had a dream about losing my remaining brother.   I saw her dream with absolute clarity as she was having it.   I was sitting by her as she napped on the sofa.  More likely than seeing her dream was that she told me about it.  A very powerful experience let me tell you. Then, what she dreamed happened. My brother and I and our neighbors were taking a dump-truck load of yard debris to the dump.  The neighbors were a single dad and his son who was the same age as my brother.  As we pulled away the door of the 50+yo rental dump truck flew open and my brother fell out of my lap into the road.  The neighbor stopped the dump truck as the dual real wheels of the loaded dump-truck rolled against my  little brother's head.  One more inch and his head would have exploded. Before the truck had stopped  I dived after my brother trying to catch him as he fell. I missed. I was about 12yo.  Had I been a fraction of a second quicker he would have never fallen out of the truck when the door latch failed and the door flew open.  Had the neighbor been half a second slower hitting the brakes I would have lost my second little brother in about 3yrs.  In mom's dream, he passed, I was not there to try to save him.  Not that I did save him.  It was a fraction of a second thing though.  After her nightmare and before my brother actually fell out of the dump-truck she had burned the shirt he was wearing in her nightmare.  One of those things that make you go hmmmmm.  What if he had that shirt on as he did in mom's dream?  Not something that melds well with my engineeric brain, but..... 

Flash forward about 25-ish years and my brother is married, has two young children.  He is struggling in his marriage. My SIL is a trust fund baby who pretty much has not worked a day in her life. She went from one set of her parents (mom and StepDad) to the other (dad and SM) who were both very wealthy to being my brother's wife. He is exceptionally successful though in those days he was a young new hire engineer.  Her mom and StepDad sent her to university on the full meal deal parent full ride scholarship. She ran from her first University after a very short time under unknown circumstances that had something to do with a sorority and a party. Shortly there after she moved to the Sate where her dad and SM were living.  Her mom and SD and her dad and SM covered her completely at a University in dad's State.  That is where she met my brother.  He and I had moved to that State for engineering school two mos after my divorce was final and I sold my share of my company to my business partners.  They met about 2yrs after we started school. together.  

They dated for almost a year when she cheated on my brother.  He had decided to end it when..... SURPRISE!  My niece was in the oven, so to speak and the baby batter was baking.  They married 4mos before my niece was born.  The bullshit started early. Her dad and SM decided to intervene in my brother's breaking up with her before anyone knew she was pregnant.  Dad and SM were of the mind that "It is only sex. What is the big deal?"  the absolute wrong position to take with the son of a couple who had been married more than 30 years at that time.  We graduated together with our BS-Eng degrees the day after my niece was born.  We both went to work for the same company out of University. Along with all but 5 of our graduating class.  We were sent to a different State to start to transition of manufacturing to a 3rd State.  While in the 2nd state the company was putting two new hires in two BR apartments for the up to 1yr temp assignment.  The policy was no families were allowed to accompany and the company would send the employee to their home state once a month for family visits.  Because my niece was less than a week old when we reported to start work we worked with HR to be assigned as room mates and got HR dispensation approval for my SIL and niece to live with us.  We were on salary, per diem, had company cars, and our housing was fully paid for and provided by the company.  I worked with HR to get my own apartment and DW and I married while we were on our reverse hire assignment.  My brother and I were notably high performers during that time and the company was happy to work with us on letting us live together so my brother's family could join him/us and then when DW and I were planning on getting married.  Not overly popular with our peers who were not allowed to bring their families. But.......

After our reverse hire tenure was finished and we moved to our permanent State of residence we followed them by several months and leased a home down the street from their leased home.  After a year they bought and built a new starter home. About 9mos later we bought a home on the same street about a mile from them.  Not long after that my nephew was born.

I get that she may have felt that he and I were inordinately close.  Her family is not and never was that close.  We were. We should have remained that close for our entire lives. 

My SIL lost her ever loving mind.  She threatened to take my brother's kids if he did not entirely cut off from my family and do exactly what he was told to do when he was told to do it.  He came to me in tears asking what he should do. I went zero tolerance in my advice (Surprise!) and told him to compile anything and everything including her spending hours a day, day after day curled up in the bathtub in the fetal position refusing to engage in therapy, call the police/911 when she had one of her mental breakdowns, and get his kids TF out of there.  He was terrified of losing his kids, having to battle his very wealthy ILs, etc... What he calls my usual "Kick em in the ass!" advice made him angry.  That conversation was the last interface we had for a year or more.  That period went on for about 3 years.  We worked together and even at work he avoided me.  The only interface we had was when mom and dad would come home to the States for the holidays. He even disengaged from them telling them that they could not stay with him and his family when on leave.  The usual was for mom and dad to visit their respective parents/family for about a week each, then come to us and split the rest of their time half staying at my brother's house and half with us. They were usually with us for a couple of months.  It was of course no problem or burden for them to stay with us.  But.... how hurt my parents were infuriated me with my brother to no end.  He knew it without me having to say a single word to him.  It was obvious from the heart break and embarrassment on his face every time he saw me. Which was nearly every day at work.

An indicator of how disconnected we were was one weekend when my DW, SS, and I went to a movie at a mega-plex theater. We had purchased our tickets and were in line for popcorn, drinks, etc... We were standing in a line of about a dozen people.  A few people ahead of us a guy started talking.  It was my brother. We had walked in behind him, bought our tickets just after he had, and were in line for the usual movie gourmet food fare.  I called his name, he turned around. I had not recognized him o rhis kids. We had not seen each other/them for about 5mos due to a temp reorg at work.  Not that it would have mattered. We only caught a glimpse of each other at work at best.  He had lost 80lbs in that 5mos and it had been so long since I had seen my niece and nephew they had brown so much that I had not recognized them either.  When they heard my voice  calling to their dad they both ran into my arms.

During that time, one night I levitated out of  bed gasping for breath while expressing a  gut wrenching soul tearing moan.  DW was up instantly holding me while I struggled to breath.  In my dream my brother had died. I had found him on a loading dock at work.  I was kneeling next to him holding him when my SIL drove buy in her convertible all joyous and chipper waving on her way to do whatever mindless bullshit she does with her useless friends of the moment. There have been countless dozens of those over the years.  She made so much eye contact with me in the dream that it was clear she saw me kneeling and holding her dead DH in my arms.  Yes, I know it was a dream but it was so vivid and soul destroying that I can see it now 30 years later as if I just flew out of bed.

That dream was terrifyingly real.  I was there. The visual detail was impeccable.  I was in a funk for months on end after that. Seeing my brother at work every day and not being able to interface with him was like holding his dead body in the dream.  At the sight of him I would have tears streaming down my face.

Some time ((a year or so) later I had exactly the same dream again with the same result. I could not breath. I was gasping for air with a background low soul wrenching moan.  

I get the oh too realistic nightmares caused by real life drama and trauma.

They just had their 31ist anniversary a week or so ago.  That my brother has never had a true partner to make his life with breaks my heart. Since all of that was going on mom and dad and me have had zero trust for my SIL.  She has not discernibly changed a bit. She remains the most self serving no substance facade only person I have ever experienced in my life.  She is not evil. She has a heart of gold. But, what she did to my brother and to my family has put her beyond redemption or forgiveness.  Not only for me.

The time when he disengaged under threat by my SIL was critical bonding time between mom and dad and my bride and me.  Our home was theirs when they were in the States.  Because we lived down the street from my brother's family the at least got some glimpses of their GKs and to play with them in m brother's front yard upon occasion.  After my brother and SIL sold that house they moved across town about 5miles away. That was more challenging when mom and dad visited by the did get some invitations for a bbq at my brother's and towards the end of their time in that house even stayed with my brother and his family for short stays occasionally. There was always some drama as my SIL apparently had overwhelming guilt over the fact that our family relationships were so strong and my parents were loving and caring people and her family is not.

Ugggh. Just recalling all of that has tears running down my face.  It has been nearly 30 years.  My brother is an extremely special man.  He was my person  and I was his for almost half of my life up until I was 30 and he married.  My wife and I have worked hard to dedicate ourselves to together being part of our respective families within the context of our marriage while me wake a life of adventure and a love for the ages together.

Thanks for letting me get it out... again.  Hopefully it will be a number of years before I do it again.

Oh Lawd, if I also had to deal with a meddling, manipulative SIL, I'm sure I wouldn't still be around.