Should I get rid of my stepson’s belongings?
Hi. I used to post in this forum a long time ago but a lot of things have changed. My ex and I broke up and it's been almost a year since he left my apartment. It was his decision to break up.
He left some boxes that he never picked up. I contacted him to pick them up a few months after the breakup but he did not bother to come get them at all. Since it's been almost a year I went through the boxes and most of the stuff there belongs to his 21 year old son. His son lived with us for a few months while we were together and all his stuff is still in my apartment even though he moved out while my ex and I were still living in my place.
Since my ex has ignored me the last few times I reached out, I decided to contact his son on Sunday to tell him that his stuff is here and see if he wants to pick it up (videogames, graduation gown, books). I haven't heard from him and he didn't message me back. I don't think it's my responsibility to provide storage for him in my apartment so I'm planning in waiting a few days but if he doesn't communicate I'll get rid of them. Should I care?? I don't want to text him again and beg my ex or his son to come get their belongings.
Contact them both together on
Contact them both together on one text
DHead and son,
I have contacted both of you to arrange for the picking up of sonsnamehere's belongings. This will be the last time I contact you. Starting today datehere, I will give you an additional 21 days to make arrangements, set up a time for pick up w/ me, and pick them up. If the items are still in my home after datehere I will be donating them to a local center for displaced families.
Thank you.
yournamehere
this... but if you know the
this... but if you know the guy's exwife.. maybe add her to the distribution?
Consider It Abandoned
Most states have laws on this issue. Typically, you have 30 days to get your stuff from a person/place once notified. It's been a year. To be safe, try to go back on your phone logs and screen shot all attempted calls. Also, save that text to the son with date showing. I would wait 30 days after that last text to the son and if no response, bring that to your nearest charitable organization because....NO! You do not need to store an ex's stuff for over a year.
If you have any doubts, just text the son again, tell him he has 30 days from that last text to get his stuff or it's getting donated. If it's past 30 days, I would not give either of those two a second thought and get rid of that crap.
Yea, I vote for one more
Yea, I vote for one more message with a deadline.
Agreed - just one more
Agreed - just one more message with deadline but then DONE. You do NOT need that toxic crap around you - that stuff needs to be away from your precious space.
If they didn’t miss it for a
Year. They don't want it. Just get dump it. Video games you maybe can sell. GameStop [still in business]?
Honestly, why give a deadline
Honestly, why give a deadline to pick up if no one is even responding? I would simply say, unless I get a response letting me know you would like these items, I will be getting rid of them by the wknd (EOM), whatever is realistic. If they do respond, then just let them know how long he has to pick it up. I wouldn't hold on to things longer if no one is even responding.
Everyone can respond to a text if they really care about these things. I suspect he doesn't really want the things you have.
Dump the stuff at his house?
Dump the stuff at his house?
Nope
Too much effort for people who have no respect, consideration, or gratitude.
Straight to the trash. If
Straight to the trash. If they ever come back at you angry (highly doubt it since it's been a year), you can show the messages that you attempted to make contact and no response.
Dump everything and then block on all platforms. Officially closing the chapter will feel good.
For all they know, you may have even moved in the past year.
If you want to be safe
than message them that in 30 days the stuff goes. Basically, it has been, what, a year? Any judge would look at that as him abandoning the stuff; that you are not a free storage unit for him. Saw this issue once on Judge Marilynn.
Guy tried to sue his ex for getting rid of his stuff when he had left it there for about 6 months. She had notified him to get it but not until 6 months later did he come alooking for it and was upset it wasn't there. Judge Marilynn reamed him a new one telling him he knew he had left stuff behind and the fact that he expected her to keep it for him for over 6 months was ridiculous, she was not a free storage unit for him. That, according to law, 30 days after notification he abandoned it.
A bit of a shift. Don't give a shit about their crap.
Pitch it. You notified, repeatedly.
Buh-bye crap. And get the donation receipt and write their crap off as a tax deduction if you itemize.
Update
Hey! Here's an update on this thread. Stepson took almost a month to reply to my message. He's making everything too difficult. First he said he would speak to his dad (my ex). I don't understand why because I told him it was his stuff. Then he told me he wanted a picture of the items I have when I had clearly told him what it was. I sent the pictures and now he's taking forever to respond again. I already told him I was going to keep it for 30 more days. Why is it so difficult for him to respond and tell me if he wants it or not? I don't understand if he reads his messages or he's disrespectful and ignoring me.
He is playing you and you are jumping through your butt for him.
Stop. No more pics. Get rid of their shit. If they do not know what it there, it is not your job to gibe them a list of pics. Keep the list and pics for yourself so if they try any legal crap you can put them on the stand, ask them what they think they had there, then present the list of their crap line by line with a pic. After each line item and pic put a pic of the series of notifications you sent them to get their shit or it would be gone.
When he said he wanted
When he said he wanted pictures, I'd have told him to come and see himself before Friday or it would all be gone. And followed through. He's just messing with you and can't be bothered lifting a finger.
He doesn't understand that his gear is not your problem but the space it's taking up IS.