The hypocrisy
If you recall this past Christmas LI admitted that she dropped out of college (with plans to maybe get a certificate as an EMT). DH took it a lot better than expected after a very brief period of lamenting.
In case anyone was wondering how it all shook out, we have (of course) come full circle. DH is now insisting that college is a "waste of time and money".
This, after years of calling other people (such as his nephews) losers for not going to college.
While I agree that people can be successful without a college degree, and in certain cases it may not be worthwhile going, it's the hypocrisy that drives me nuts.
- AlmostGone834's blog
- Log in to post comments
Comments
Protective
His brain is in protective mode so that he doesn't recognize what a mess she is. At least she's gone. Life is good!
But, I'd be aggravated, too.
Yes super glad she's gone.
Yes super glad she's gone. Also yes his brain is in defense mode (as always). Once in a while I can seem glimpses of sanity (usually when he gets really mad, like when she left for her brother's and he said "she's got her gifts and now she's going off"). He absolutely can't see the similarities between her and The Slunk Ape.
loans
Waiting for the complaints when both BI and LI realize the loans have to be repaid even if you did not finish.
He doesn't even know she has
He doesn't even know she has loans on her 150% paid for college. Smdh. He also doesn't know about her debt but at least I don't have to hear his musings of the amazing job and lifelong riches she's going to get with her prestigious degree.
She also danced around the issue with me, with a big convoluted story that made no sense, was full of lies and half truths and rambled in a million different directions... not exactly saying outright that she dropped out but that she wasn't going anymore, didn't want to go back, was put on academic probation but had "enough credits" for a degree but a ton didn't count, but still got her bachelors degree but it was also a non-existent masters program that she's still in. Everything contradicted itself. I just told DH the truth she was dancing around.
And he says this to you, a
And he says this to you, a person who did attend and complete college!?! How insulting.
It IS insulting. It's also
It IS insulting. It's also insulting when LI pretends she accomplished something that other people worked very hard for. Both are gross.
Of course it is! Now. *dash1
Of course it is! Now. *dash1*
Yes .... now. Before it was
Yes .... now. Before it was the stick to which all successful people were measured by.... but NOW.... well, most people become successful through "on the job skills". Again... it's the hypocrisy.
I hope LI is officially out
I hope LI is officially out of your peaceful sanctuary and ran back to FL to SA/ Fidel or the Fool..etc and wont be back for a long time for your sake.
I am actually surprised that she at least admitted the truth about her college stint. The hypocisy surrounding DH and LI is also not suprising though infuriating of course.
Im with Yesterdays asking if these people ever hear themselves once in a while and think critically.
I wouldnt hesitate to point out his comment about the "loser" nephews for not attending whenever the chance comes up.. I also would ask if he or LI are going to think it was all nothing and will retain that caveliere attitude , like its all a game ..once she finds herself up to her neck in crippling debt over it for who knows how long.
I did point it out. I said to
I did point it out. I said to him (re. College being worthless) "up until recently you were saying very different..."
"Oh ... uh... No, I meant that most people get jobs based on the work experience they have, not a degree but the skills they acquire on the job, that's how they become successful... Look at me, I didn't go to college and I'm successful"
I was trying to hint that his tune changed very recently re. the importance of college for success. Now he claims he never thought it was necessary. Which is obviously not true but you literally cannot drag him out of his delusions when it comes to his daughter. I've tried so many times and he shuts down if I push too hard.
Reply
(To BI) "thank you chatGPT."
The convulsted stories
It's not just LI or my lying SD63, The Grifter, but whenever one of our 5 tells me a long, convulated story, my antennae go up. It almost always means lies.
My favorite lie this year was from Grifter when she dropped by Christmas day to get her $. "Oh, gosh, I forgot! I had your gifts under my tree and I just walked out without them!"
You know as well as I do that
You know as well as I do that you'll never see those gifts. They never existed in the first place. Depending on how fed up with it all you are you could 1. Let it go in exchange for peace with your DH or 2. Bring it up every single time she comes over...
"I wonder if we will see those gifts she forgot last Christmas today, DH"
"DH, when Grifter calls, remind her to bring our presents. Wouldn't want them taking up precious space over there"
"DH when you go visit Grifter bring back the gifts she has for us"
and when it gets around to next Christmas...
"Just tell her to put our gift next to last years under the tree"
...... Depending on how irritated I am, it would be one of those two reactions from me
#1
I don't want any gifts from her. She can't afford anything and seeing a gift makes me wonder how much less cash DH has now.
I get it. I don't want any
I get it. I don't want any gifts from LI either. It's just the selfishness of these types bothers me to no end that I want to call them out on it.
My DH used to say that it
My DH used to say that it didn't matter what college one went to, as long as you did well, no one cared about WHAT college it was on your resume in the end. And anything other than a good state school was a waste of money. Which is true really, we don't look at what college when hiring, just confirm that they have a degree as they say. BUT when it finally came down to it and HIS daughters were applying for college, oh no, the state schools were not good enough and if they wanted to choose the expensive private colleges, then that's better! He still is in this mode a bit (less mad, less emphatic, which is great), and I point out his hypocracy at times. But I'm so far out of the skids lives, I really could care less at this point.
Funny how that works isn't it
Funny how that works isn't it? The narrative always changes when it comes to the biological offspring. The choices they make must not be questioned.
I really could care less as well but right now I'm feeling a bit salty because she coming back in the summer and I feel like I just got rid of her (and she's bringing the latest boyfriend) and I'm still not recovered from having to spend a whole week with her.
Doesnt that just drive you
Doesnt that just drive you crazy? I am beyond over expecting these troubled SKIDults to always get a pass..and the benefit of the doubt since they can always use that whole "poor helpless COD or seperation) as an excuse. And there is always someone who always lets them use anything under the sun as an excuse. . I personally have had none of that left in me with SD and if that makes me the black sheep or "problematic" to anyone, then so be it. I have no patience, no more guilt, no benefits of doubt or effs to give away, which I did give more freely for a time whether anyone wants to remember or not. Gave more than I should have honestly,and There are only so many chances you get with me. Really, what is so darn Special and Golden about these "kids" that they can get off the hook..the old get out of jail free card. when they do stupid, thoughtless and even reckless things that would definitley be frowned upon or not acceptable if they were done by any other person walking this earth. You and I certainly wouldnt be expected to be so empathic and accomodomatic as to make Life easier and all cozy for them? So why should the skids be held to any other standards? So over it.
Hoping LI changes her mind about visiting in the summer. and that there is a firm agreement that she and the Fool at least be responsible for their own lodging. If not, then they can visit when and if they can actually manage their own arrangements. Sounds like she has taken more than an unfair advantage of you and DH . This also reminds me of why I shoudnt feel all too guilty about not being so nice to SD and making things so comfortable for SD that she can feel to railroad over me. She can to anyone else she pleases. but it ends with me.
Funny how college is a waste
Funny how college is a waste of money only after LI has wasted no telling how many tens (hundreds?) of thousands of the government's money and 6 years of her time with nothing to show for it.
I agree that there are many paths to self-sufficiency. Hopefully LI will actually take one.
Six freaking years of free
Six freaking years of free college money (plus extra money each semester for books and other expenses) and loan money too which will probably never be paid back.
Hypocrisy, delusion, denial.
Hypocrisy, delusion, denial. What else do we call this? My DH went through the same thing, especially with his son, but the false super/superior unrealistic kid narrative was driven primarily by BM (and really hard on the skids, although it created an awful arrogance in them).
It took some awakenings/smackdowns from reality for DH to recognize that 1) his kids were NOT better than other people and were not super geniuses 2) in many ways his kids were inferior to many others 3) they "ended up" not doing so well as adults and are in general pretty unlikable.
I understand it's hard to admit your children are not the super heroes they pretend to be or are made out to be, or that you want them to be, but it's also freeing (I've witnessed it) to see and accept the truth. Sigh.
Yup The Skunk Ape thinks the
Yup The Skunk Ape thinks the sun rises and sets with her children. In reality none of them are very successful. They are at mediocre in every facet of life. That doesn't stop her from trying to convince the world that her children are amazing.
I hope that one day DH can see reality but I'm honestly losing hope.
Yeah but
You have to have a work ethic either in skilled trades, university, whatever. These ne'er do wells like LI and Chef's ferals will always be bottom rung because they want to be taken care of, not work for it. And being a trophy wife for LI isn't an option the way AG describes her.
Rags & Notable Income
Rags, even the trades require a considerable investment in time and commitment. My son is a plumber and makes big bucks but first, had to complete a 4-year apprenticeship, then pass a stringent Certificate of Qualification exam. Same for my son-in-law who is an electrician. They are also intelligent, talented handymen.
Not everyone is capable of succeeding in the 'trades'. Many of the apprentices that started out with my son dropped out before their first year. Both my son and SIL achieved good marks in school but were disinterested in 'working behind a desk'.
In other words
'''LI was thrown out of college''' [ she does know why she was going]. ''''She has 126 credits in Bowling, ping pong, and beer drinking.''''But there's no degree program in beer drinking. '''The loan money is cut off.''' How is she going to survive?
'Be prepared for a onset on LI needing....money...money. She spent 6 years advording working. She not ready to start now
"LI is Homeless"
BI: "Thats probably a GOOD thing...a roof and 4 walls are overrated. Think of the money she'll be saving on rent/the mortgage. I think I'll get her an RV."
I see the flip flop... lol.
I see the flip flop... lol.
Actually, I am someone with both an undergrad and a masters and I think college IS a waste of time and money for a whole lot of people.. because college is NOT for everyone.. There are a lot of ways to earn a living that are respectable and have high earning potential that don't require a degree.
I also am a proponent of people going to work entry level for companies that support tuition payments/matches to aid their employees in getting their degrees.
I would actually hazard a guess that more people are not college material vs those that are. The kids arrive at these institutions woefully unprepared.. end up having the curriculum dumbed down.. they have to take remedial courses to catch up etc..
In this current day, the cost is not worth it for so many... it used to be a better value.. but that's when fewer people attended, so your degree differentiated you.. not today. Easy student loans also caused universities to compete for that money by enticing students with lush acccomodations... meal plans.. lounges.. gyms.. etc.. again.. none of that fancy frosting helps them become smarter.. just enticing for their 4 year vaca from reality.
I think it depends on what
I think it depends on what degree you go for. Some degrees are in demand and you walk out with a decently high paying job lined up. Others are over saturated with applicants and others, well the money doesn't equate out to what you spent. BUT LI got free college. A degree absolutely would be worth more than the $0 she spent getting it.
She would 100% would be better off today with a degree in her hand (literally any degree since it was free and many jobs don't care what BS degree you have but having one puts you ahead of other applicants). As it stands she's unable to pay her bills, and has no health insurance or other benefits. That's fine when you're 25, not so much when you're 35.
Heck when someone with a college degree applies to our jobs (even though it's not at all required) they move to the front of the list. College is also more than just the degree. You learn a lot of soft skills there and it clearly demonstrates to employers that you can commit to and finish something.
College IS a waste of money
And time for idiots. YSD26 had to go to an out of state, prestigious school and now she works as a fry cook. It took her an extra year to graduate. She has spent most of her time since college unemployed or job hopping. Lol
OSD, same story in that she isn't even using her degree but unlike YSD, at least she has held the same down job for longer than 2 weeks.
I am annoyed that DH spent so much $$$ on their college but find some comfort that BM paid 1/3 of the cost so at least it took her down a notch and she has no earning capacity to make more. She is too lazy to find a full-time, real job.