How would you handle this?

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Got a text from my ASD on Saturday about a present coming on Mother's Day. Nothing. Then it was supposed to come Monday. Nothing. Now, she says she doesn't know what happened and she'll have to follow up with Amazon. How would you respond?

I would not check on the

I would not check on the present with her again.. if she asks if it gets there.. just say it never arrived.

In response to her latest email.

A "no worries.. thanks for the thought anyway".. that's fine.. no need to make this bigger than it is.

^^This.

Response

Your assumption that I am "checking on the present" is incorrect.

Sentiment is still the same..

Sentiment is still the same.. do nothing.. whether you asked her about it or not.. the reality is.. that you doing nothing at this point is the best course of action.

I mean.. what do you think there is to "handle" here.. someone said they sent you a present.. ok.. nice.. then they say it's "lost" somehow.. again.. "ok... fine"..

There is really nothing that you need to handle here... let it go.. assume you will never get whatever it was.. she either said it for show.. or she really did send it and amazon messed up (which happens to me every now and then.. though prob doubtful here).

I can pretty much any way you may have to "handle it".. won't work out well.

1. DO check with her.. putting her in a box and on the spot.. nope.. not gonna turn out

2. Point out to spouse that she lied and never sent anything.. he will take her side.. defend her.

3. Call her out and accuse her of lying.. another "not gonna end well" solution.

In the somewhat unlikely event something arrives.. a simple thank you.. that's about it.

Set yourself free.

Do nothing

She is taking a page from SD63's book. "Oh, darn it, I forgot your gift, it's under my tree" (at Christmas), "I'm going shopping tomorrow, do you want x or y?" (expecting me to say don't buy me anything, which I do), etc.

The fact is I really don't want her to buy anything, she barely can support herself. Her best gift would be self-sufficiency. But I give her credit for the thought.

Nothing

I love ESMOD's response. Let her reach out to you.....otherwise, ignore.

Amazon

Now, she says she doesn't know what happened and she'll have to follow up with Amazon

If she actually ordered from Amazon, she can check her account and see if it was delivered somewhere or not, or if it's delayed.

Myresponse -- I'll let you know if/when it arrives.

SD30 used to do this. She's

SD30 used to do this. She's say - "I've got your birthday/Xmas present at home, I'll give it to you next time I see you. I never did get a single card or present from her, ever. I just used to say "OK" thinking "oh yes, when the sun rises in the west!"

I had no idea this was such a

I had no idea this was such a common thing. One of my sisters did this with family members for years. It became a family joke that her attic is FILLED with gifts for all of us. Weird.

Same here, my SD would always

Same here, my SD would always do the same to her Father and I. Sounds good but it is empty. Ignore it, she is playing games.

Of coourse one thing, if it is coming by USPO mail it may be very, very late as the USPO is having BIG problems with deliveries

Response

I agree. She's playing games. Everyday she sends me a text about "not understanding what happened, and contacting Amazon". I responded with Amazon's customer service number. Lol

Yea, what everyone else says.

Yea, what everyone else says. Ignore it. I have a special little trick I pull out when I feel like someone is purposely trying to hurt the feelings: I act happier than usual. An overabundance of happiness. Weeee! Life is freaking great! I'm good! lol. I have MORE than enough presents! lolol.

it reminds me of an old

it reminds me of an old friend who used to swear to the (insert utility/bill companys name here) that she knows she mailed the payment they should be getting it today but today never really happened, she was just full of crap.

I agree with my wise friends above "nope nothing yet dear"

and let her excuses fly.

mal-intent is a word?

My son does this. He's 26 currently. He is not doing well with budgets, schedules, ect. He asks for my mailing address, and the birthdays of various ppl regularly. No actual cards arrive by post. We have enough of a good connection on other days that I absolutely can see his heart in his fumbles. That's quite different than excusing shitty twisting of things that your SD is doing. Don't take the bait. There was no thought put in this: it is designed to stick in your craw and irritate like gravel in your running shoe. It pisses me off that she got you to give it several thoughts. What a callous jokester.

Don't waste your time, mind space, or breath.

Non issue.

If it shows up, great. If not, fagedaboudit.

She is playing games and giving you lip service. A call wishing you a HBD would be far better than her bullshit manipulation and posing.

IMHO of course.

Other than a thumbs up to the

Other than a thumbs up to the text, is there even really a response needed?

I'm on the do nothing train

When our steps do things like this it's just one more lesson learned, isn't it? Don't bring it up and treat yourself to something nice. Be well!

And... liars are a write off. She lies, write her off.

That said, for the last nearly 5mos I have been meaning to take a book to our Ideal Protein coach. Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution. She was recently Dx'd with pre-diabetes (T-2). It kept slipping my mind. About 2mos ago I remembered to get it out of our coat closet. I keep a few copies on hand to give to newly Dx'd people I meet or new people I meet that are struggling with managing the disease.

Even sitting on our dining table that I walk by to go to the garage, I kept forgetting.

So, last friday night during my intermitent throws of insomnia, I remembered, sat it on the floor leaning against the door to the garage, and finally took it to our coach.

I so agree about liars. Once

I so agree about liars. Once someone lies that is it. You can never trust them again about anything. My nemisis does things like that to make her Father believe she is caring towards me. What she says to me when he is out of earshot is what really counts. Of course try to tell him and he doesn't believe it.

Now, as he ages and drifts into dementia, I am the only one that gives a darn about him now that she can't get to the will.